My mother needs to be committed

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Does she have BPD? I noticed you mentioned that in one of your posts… Is she getting any type of treatment? (Medication and/or therapy?)  *hugs* I’m sorry you’re dealing with all that.  Who does the car technically belong to?

ETA: I think it’s actually really important that you still do something with SO this weekend, even if you do stuff that’s cheap or free.  It sounds like you need some time together, away from your mom, to focus on YOU rather than her drama.

Post # 5
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ForeverBirds:  Yes, but in order to commit her she has to be a current danger to herself or others.  Which doesn’t currently apply 🙁  If it ever does, though, for sure call.  Do you have a PET team (Psychiatric Emergency Team)? They are the ones who respond to suicide assessments and other psych. emergencies around here; they can be called instead of the police (who tend to handcuff people and try to arrest them) and can place them on a psych hold and transport the individual to a hospital.

Post # 7
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ForeverBirds:  Awwww.  I think he should graciously accept it.  It sounds like that would mean a lot, and they wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to give it!

Post # 8
Member
3938 posts
Honey bee

@ForeverBirds:  I can’t offer you any advise on your mothers mental health but I wanted to say what a crappy situation it must be. I don’t know all the facts, so I am sorry if this is a stupid question, but is there anyway you could get some money from your Mom for the damage she caused? It really shouldn’t be up to you to put it right. I also agree with PP about having some fun with your SO this weekend. It sounds like you need it. You can’t allow your mothers actions to controll every aspect of your life. I hope she eventually allows herself to get the help she needs.

Post # 10
Member
3938 posts
Honey bee

@ForeverBirds:  Ah ok, sorry, that sucks. How sweet of your SO’s co-worker to offer him the money. I hope you guys manage to go out and enjoy yourselves.

Post # 11
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ForeverBirds:  First of all, big (((hugs))) across the sea! What a mess. Your mother does need help. I hope your father can get her to a doctor ASAP. 

I’m pretty sure your landlord won’t kick you out, especially if you find a way to fix that column. Accidents happen – and it wasn’t you who did it either! 

Your SO’s coworker is so kind. If your SO is embarassed to take the money, maybe he could offer to pay him back when he can? Make it a kind of a loan instead of a present? And I think you should still go out and look at engagement rings – just looking at them is absolutely free! 🙂 I agree with the other bees that it would do you good to have some fun.  

Post # 12
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this… it is so hard…  My father has suffered from BPD nearly his whole life… and surely all of mine. At one point he was court ordered to take his medicine and follow up with a doctor. Somehow, that didn’t stick for too long. I’ve recieved phone calls from him in jail needed me to get bond money together…all sorts of stuff. His patterns seems to go in cycles of four years. Even tempered, Extremely nanic, and then depressed. It’s hard to sit back and watch it all happen knowing there isn’t anything you can do, especially being the child. I feel for you. Luckily for me I moved away, but it still doesn’t make it any better when you worry all of the time. What you can do though is keep a journal of all the instances she threatens her life or someone elses. Any time she is putting people in danger you can have her committed, regardless of being her child, just keep these records. Get in touch with a therapist who can determine if committing her would really help. Sometimes they need to be slapped in the face with reality before they themselves can transition moods. Good luck! 

Post # 13
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

she is a danger to her self and others— she wreck the car…. i dont know why your dad wouldnt want to commit her it may be the way he can save her. she needs treatment…  big hugs

 

Post # 14
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

BPD is a heartbreaking disorder. Try to remember that she is not in control of her actions, and keep trying to get her to a psychiatrist and onto medication. Proper meds make all the difference. If she is ever violent to herself or others you can call the police and have her committed for at least 72hrs for evaluation. It’s a terrible thing to have to do but if that’s the only way to get her help & she’s dangerous, then you have to do it. In the long run she’ll forgive you. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I know how difficult it is to see someone slipping away & I once had to call police on a friend who went into a full blown psychotic episode & became violent. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, & that was just a friend, so I can’t imagine how hard it must be to see your mom dealing with BPD. First and foremost you have to take care of yourself and protect yourself. Do what you can to get her help, but don’t ever feel guilty. You’re trying to keep her safe and you’re a wonderful daughter for doing so.

Post # 15
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I wish I could give advice but I can’t.  I’m just posting to give you *HUGS*.  I hope things get better for you soon.  I hope she gets the help she needs.

Post # 16
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Call the police and your insurance.  Even if you gave her permission to drive your car, she still left the scene of an accident.  Your insurance should cover at least part of the damage to the column.  Do you have renters insurance?  If so, that should cover at least part of the damage as well.  You can’t fix her.  She made the choice to stop seeing her therapist (and mentally ill or not, it was still a choice) and she hasn’t threatened or tried to harm herself or another.  I know you feel bad for her, but you can’t let her illness run your life.  She has to make the decision to get help (or get bad enough that help is forced upon her).  If you keep bailing her out and covering for her, she has no incentive to change any part of her life.

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