- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
This is mostly a vent, with a small plea for sympathy and a request for advice mixed in. I know some answers will probably be hurtful, but I’m prepared for that – I know everyone has a right to their opinion.
Background: My mother has a huge problem with my weight. To be fair, I AM overweight. I could stand to lose about 30 lbs and my BMI is in the overweight range. I have been working out more lately, and improving my eating. I not only know that I am overweight, I know why I am. I also know how to lose the weight, I just haven’t committed to it yet… and I’m okay with that.
Today: Today is my birthday. I had a good day – my team bought me gourmet cupcakes, I got many happy birthday texts, calls, and cards. I had a smile all day because I kept hearing from friends. When I got home, I had a pile of cards, including one from my parents.
My parent’s card included a letter and a check for $500. Great, right? Yeah, no. My mother’s letter (two pages) explained that she and my father have decided I’m unhealthy.. She cites a number of factors, none of which are remotely true, like trouble breathing (the only time I breathe heavy is when I’m working out); disinterest in active pursuits (I run regularly, go for walks almost every day, etc.) – I just have no interest in doing them with my ultra-fit, ultra-competitive mother – and so forth. The check is for a year’s membership to weight watchers. They will watch to see if I deposit it, and if I do, they will leave me alone about my weight and fitness. I’m not “allowed” to do the online version – I have to go to meetings.
Basically, the letter tells me that I’m fat, she disapproves and wants to pay for me to be skinny. Oh, and I shouldn’t even consider children at my current weight. Great, thanks, Mom. I don’t want her money, not do I really want to do Weight Watchers. I can lose the weight if I decide to and commit to eating well and working out… but even WW won’t work if I keep cheating. Even if I were to join, I’d want to do it of my own volition, not for my mother – who has very obvious body image issues that she successfully passed on to my sister and me, that I’ve only recently freed myself of (mostly).
I sort of want to send the check back, but I can’t imagine the storm that’ll stir up. What would you do?
- This topic was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by LadyBear.