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I'm glad that your mom handled this and took the pressure off of you. But I'm a bit confussed. How did you select who would be invited and who wouldn't? Are only those aunts/uncles and cousins who you are close to invited or was it more arbitrary than that?
Ooooh sometimes moms are awesome. They fight so many fires!
that's awesome your mom did that for you!! my only thought would be that the people not on the guest list would be embarassed that the list is going around and they're not on it? maybe a phone call to them might have been nice? but really, your mom worded it sooo politely, i'm sure your family will understand!! good luck with the responses!
@ Meowkers: I chose who to invite from each side based on those people I know the best, who are closest to my parents and have been most important to our family over the years. I have nearly 40 cousins and have grown up with only a handful of them - some of them I wouldn't know if I bumped into them, even though I see them occasionally. It was a hard decision - with unlimited space and cash we may have decided to invite everyone but even then it would have been 60 relatives on my side and about 10 on FH's - that doesn't seem fair either.
@ Bellini: Since this method seemed to work well for my sister's wedding, I was happy for mum to do the honours via email. In some ways a phone might be harder bc people have to react politely? Whereas if it's email they can swear and then calm down :) Since there's a lot more people on the "not invited" list than the "invited" list, I'm hoping they are all ok with it (and if they aren't, that they don't say anything to me or my mum!)
@mountainbride---haha that's so true!! plus, idk what its like to have a big family, so what do i know anyways! haha. but you're very lucky to have sooo many loved ones! and a mom who can handle them!
You are so lucky to have such a great mother. That's wonderful - she's definitely going to make the whole guest list process so much smoother.
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Our invites started arriving in letterboxes yesterday afternoon. As they did for my sister's wedding in April, my parents decided to send a pre-emptive email to their siblings to let them know who was invited. Mum's one of 9 and Dad's one of 7, we are invited 2 from each side so plenty of people to disappoint! Mum's words:
Mountain.bride and mountain.groom have needed to think about who to invite to their wedding from our 2 big families.
This is a difficult process, but one which we have assured them our siblings and their families understand, even if there is disappointment at not sharing this special day. Partly it’s a question of numbers and costs, and also a question of not overwhelming the whole gathering with our families.
She then went on to list the people invited. Just thought others might be interested to see how other families have managed to deal with the inevitable fall-out from these things!