Post # 1
We have about 4 months until we get married and everything already has money put down on it! Even my dress is almost paid off and I should get it next week(hopefully). Well, last night my mom called me into the kitchen to talk to me(I thought) and she started showing we wedding dreeses:/ I’ve already changed my dress once for her(because she is paying for it) and the cost of this dress is less than half of the first dress I chose. I think it’s like 500 and she said that was ok. She loves the dress and has only one more payment on it but wants me to look at different dresses “just to see”!!! I think this is impossible because I do have expensive taste. The original price of this dress is 1500 it was on sale for half off and she got the other 250 off by bargaining. it’s a great price for the dress!! And I am definately NOT changing it!!
Other than the dress, my mom is still trying to change the colors of my wedding. The colors my fiance and I chose together and has no concern of my mother!! They are red and blck. At first she was like no, it shoud white and red. The she threw up turquoise and brown, then back to white and red. I DO NOT WANT WHITE AND RED!! I want BLACK AND RED!! She doesn’t undersatnd that this is MY wedding!! She is trying to change EVERYTHING!
Just like the flowers! I wanted a full red rose bouquet, but my mom wanted it to be red and white roses with these little leaf thingys coming up and across it! It was aweful and definately NOT my taste!
My mom has tried to change just about everything from the music we play to the food we eat! I hate it!! But every time I tell her no, that’s not how I want it and that’s not how my fiance wants it, she trows a big fit and tells me to go away!! I cant stand it and I’m so excited to be moving out of her house in 11 days!! I can’t wait!!
Post # 3
seriously… if it was me when she says i want to speak to to about something i would flat out say “if its about changing anything about the wedding. colors, theme, dress, food, the phase of the moon then dont bother – its not up for discussion”
sounds like its going to end up in an argument anyways so this way you get in first and speak up for yourself – if she chooses to ignore that then at least you got to stand up for yourself. sorry, sounds like a very sucky situation
edit: oh and if you are saying “thats how my fiance wants it”, change this to “thats how WE want it” – she might be worried you are giving up too many choices for him, parents get weird during wedding planning i found out
Post # 4
You’re going to have a very long and stressful few months if this doesn’t get sorted soon.
I think it might be an idea, when you’re calmly chatting with her about other things, to quietly remind her that you and your Fiance have made decisions on a lot of things, you’re both happy with those decisions, have put money/vendors in place for those things, and there isn’t a whole lot of time to make changes. Say that you love her and value her opinions always, but it’s making you feel like she wants to take over when she tries to change your mind so much.
Maybe?! Best of luck anyhow!
Post # 5
I do say that that’s how WE want it. My mother just wants things HER way and she can’t have that this time! I’ve talked to my dad about it and he says the same thing. She is just so stubborn. I’ve told her many times that respect her opinion and I’ll hear what you have to say and take it into consideration but in the end it really is MY desicion!
We have fought over everything!! My hair, my makeup, my dress, shoes, venue, food, music, tuxes, nails, bm dresses!! I litterally mean anything and everything that has to do with my wedding has been fought over between my mother and I. It’s depressing and stressful! I’ve tried everything with her though, talking nicely, getting my dad to talk to her, getting other family talking to her, nothing works!! I try, I really do, but she is just so damn stubborn!! Even my dad says she’s stubborn “It’s just how she is.” he says.!!
But my fiance helps me through it and for that I am thankful! Thank you ladies for helping me out:)
Post # 6
Yea… Mom’s can be tough when it comes to weddings. My mom and I have had our fair share of disagreements over the wedding too. My mom is the kind of person who only gets more stubborn when you argue with her, which makes me more stubborn too, and we end up making huge deals over nothing. I don’t think its possible to change them haha.
Honestly, if you can, I’d just go with the nod and smile, say something like “that sounds like a great idea, I’ll have to look into that” and then just do your own thing, don’t fight with her and tell her what you really want to do. Even if your mom is paying, a lot of these things sound like you could take care of them with the vendor alone. Or maybe give her some project that she can come up with and do for the wedding, to make her feel helpful? I think with Moms its a combination of them wanting to make sure you have a great wedding (except using what’s great in their mind) and kinda thinking they have a chance to relive all the wedding stuff for themselves. It usually is coming from a good place though, just remind yourself of that when she’s difficult.
Post # 7
I’ve started looking at it as…this is really the last time my parents can tell me how to do something or have control over a major life event of mine, so it is expected that they will get a little nuts. I think the emotional side of weddings makes people deflect their feelings about their child getting married in a different way – and instead of telling you how she really feels, whether it is she will miss you when you move out or she can’t believe you are all grown up – she takes it out on the planning and trying to be in total control one last time.