Post # 1
My mother has been going through menopause for a little bit now. She is completely acting unstable. She is bitter and angry and just acting like a bitch. She is always causing fights with my dad – they have never really fought my whole life – and taking everything out on me and my sister. One day you could say one thing to her and the next day say the exact same thing and she will bite your head off. She can’t take medicine because she is scared of the breast cancer risks (it runs in our family) and won’t even acknowledge she is having issues. My father is miserable, I am miserable and my 19 year old sister doesn’t handle it well and just gets pissy with everyone.
I know I just have to deal, but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions. I try to stay out of her way when she is having a mood, but I can’t avoid her forever and that is the only thing I can think of.
Post # 3
No real advice other than to have your family sit down with her and talk to her and explain how it is making you all feel. You aren’t alone though and it is a terrible situation to be in for all parties. I hate those couple days a month where I don’t feel like I am in control of my own emotions. I can’t image being like that all of the time.
Post # 4
oh my goodness, i know EXACTLY how you feel! My mum will freak out over the littlest thing, scream at everybody then sulk for days, not saying A WORD to ANYBODY!!! havent got any advice though, coz we don’t really know how to deal with it either. i think, as difficult as it is, you just have to toughen up a bit and think she doesnt really mean it, and it will all calm down eventually. Lots of sympathy coming your way though,really hope it’ll all calm down soon xxx
Post # 5
Its so rough girls! One week she is fine and then next BAM. I keep hoping I won’t be this bad when I go through it.
Post # 6
Ugh! I so hear you. Perhaps a family intervention?! Sounds over the top, but a non confrontation sit down (after wine?!) to just discuss how her actions make you feel indivdually?!
Post # 7
Progesterone cream 2X/day – available at places likes GNC, vitacost.com, Vitamin Shoppe, etc.
and DHEA, 50 mg., make sure to get the the time release kind.
Does wonders, trust me on this one! Takes a week or so to kick in.
Post # 8
You and your situation may perhaps be an echo of me from 7 years ago. When she is in a normal-ish mood pull her to the side and say something to her. Tell her its super hard…since it is. She is basically going into PMS fits x1000. She has to be reminded of this and maybe when she starts freaking out you can say something and she can go for a walk or sit in a different room until the mood swing is over.
There will be a light at the end of this emotionally crazy tunnel.
Post # 9
She should try to take up some stress relieving hobbies. Yoga did wonders for my mother, her menopause, and her aching, aging body. Meditation or aerobics are good too. Anything that will work as an outlet for her extra energy!
Post # 10
Well…first, buy book on menopause. I’m sure there’s great ones out there.
Second. Walk up to her and without saying a word, hand her the book.
Post # 11
Haha oh man, my mom was in that stage of menopause forevvver lol. You have to realize though, her hormones are going crazy, and making her crazy. Its probably a really hard time for her, emotionally and physically. If anything, have your family talk to her and see what you can do to make it easier for her. Lol, and if she gets crazy… run… theres not much you can do haha
Post # 12
This sounds like depression–which is quite common during menopause. I’d get her to a doctor. This can’t be fun for her, never mind what it is doing to the rest of you.
Post # 13
I’m going through the same thing, expect I’m the only one who is ever around my mother so I get the full heed of it all! ahhhhh! If I had advice I sure as heck would use my own and share it with you. It sucks to have to deal with this kind of crap, and honestly, I wish it was just all over with!
Post # 14
@miss. eire: My mom got menopause when I was around 11 or 12. It was really difficult. Her behavior could have been mistaken for bipolar but she is a lot better now so I think it was the menopause. Honestly, I ended up leaving home because she kept saying how she was sick of me and wanted me to leave, so I did. She also used to kick me out of the house when I was little. We’ve resolved things since then, though my dad left and never looked back with regards to her.
Even now my mom irritates me every now and then. The best way I deal with it is to not take her seriously when she says or does irrational things. She is also OCD and almost certaintly has ADD, so she always insists people around her are extremely chaotic and disorganized and sometimes it upsets her. Just remind yourself that it is the disease, illness, etc. and not you, though ultimately your mom is responsible for her actions just like the rest of us. But don’t expect apologies or anything because I find that moms I know tend to not give them… Also, if it really is just the menopause, then it will blow over one day, so keep that in mind.
Post # 14
miss. eire :
My mum’s symptoms are even worst then yours. I’m already 28, knowing very well that I should understand her but sometimes I just could not. She not only has severe mood swings and depression, but made many claims that her body felt very uncomfortable. One moment was that she could not breath, after the hospital’s doctor said there was nothing wrong, she said there was something wrong with her heart. 3 times she was admitted to the hospital as she felt something was wrong, 3 times, NOTHING WRONG! Even though the doctors proved that there was nothing wrong with her, she acted like a patient with chronic illness when at home. She would not even go to the kitchen to get herself a cup of water, we have to serve her. She’s taking hormones, but not much effect so far. My brother and I wanted a puppy, but she objected to it very powerfully, saying that she will go mad if we get one (She did not realise that she is already mad). I think I’ve been pushed by her nearer and nearer to the thought of moving out and staying by myself, although in the beginning I said to her I will stay with her till the end of her life.
Post # 15
There is a lot more a doctor can do, than put her on medicine that will cause a breast cancer risk. She should search for such a doctor.
It can go on for years it isnt always a short term thing.