My Mum isnt happy for me at all!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ah, Mum’s can be tough like that, and the majority I find do love a Big Family Wedding, having one abroad means she doesn’t get to show you off to everyone she knows and catch up with Great Aunt Mabel who she hasn’t seen since the last Big Family Wedding! So she may well have been thinking about that and just blurted out the dog thing. Mine would do something similar.

I agree that UK weddings CAN be expensive, but they don’t have to be, there are ways to do it without spending a fortune.

Perhaps you could explain all your reasons to your Mum and get her onside. Mine just wanted to be involved, she had been looking forward to this time since I gave up dolls. It was as much our family’s day as it was ours.

Post # 4
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I couldn’t get married abroad because FI’s mum wouldn’t leave her dogs behind, so I get how you feel with that! Especially considering wedding prices here in the UK are crazy.

Honestly I would just enjoy planning with your FI – keep your mum in the loop, send her emails when you have chosen stuff but just don’t try anymore to actively involve her, asking opinions etc. Email is usually a safe form of contact for this 😉

It’s a special time for you and FI, and you guys should focus on what you want, not what others want. Again, similarly, FI’s mum wanted us to get married in the church where she got married, but I didn’t want that as I don’t have any connections at all with where they live. It wasn’t easy, but she is getting over it now!

Post # 5
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Your mom has been thinking about your wedding since you were 12 years old.  She has been thinking of this day much longer than you have.  Yes, she could be a lot more gracious and mature, but mothers have hopes and dreams for their daughters.  You are doing something radically different than what she planned, and her reaction isn’t because she “isn’t happy” for you.  Calling her special church “old, small, dirty, dingy” is very harsh and I hope you didn’t use those words in front of the woman who birthed you.  

A perfect mother would put on a smile, swallow her sadness, and loudly support you, but nobody is perfect.  

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