(Closed) My mutual agreement to keep us happy…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I haven’t heard of this…but it could be cute! could also help out in future arguments, hah =)

Post # 4
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Um, no I have never heard of this ….. it is different. I don’t believe in living together before marriage so I guess thats why I am out of the loop on this…. I learned something new today though.

Post # 6
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it’s super smart!  We had a verbal one when we first moved in together, and when we moved in with roommates and they wouldn’t do one…oh man, that should have been a sign.

I think keeping it lighthearted is important, but get the stuff on there that matters! We went with a separate credit card to put shared costs on, so of course we both needed to know the other person was going to pay their half.  Yes, we were (and are) in love, but we weren’t (and, hopefully, aren’t) stupid!

Post # 7
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have never used one, and sadly don’t have a lighthearted story about one. But I can tell you that they might be a good idea if you are seriously invovled with someone financially. If its just rent/bills and you can split them relatively evenly I would just have a conversation about expectations around cleaning/chores/money.

One of my friends started building a house with her boyfriend on his parent’s land. She had invested nearly 10 grand when they broke up, and he will not give her any of it back. She could probably hire a lawyer, but the guy was abusive and she is scared of what he would do.

(I’m totally making the Debbie-Downer noise in my head over here. What a bummer I am! 🙂 )

Post # 8
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This isn’t exactly what you’re asking about, but I have some friends who incorporated some things they promise to do (like take coffee cups into the kitchen) in their wedding vows, and it was definitely adorable and lighthearted.

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We haven’t signed any paperwork, but we definitely have an agreement about stuff like this! Little, silly stuff, like, if I cook, he’s responsible for the dishes. He will wash his feet when he comes home from work (stinky!) and I will avoid piling worn-once clothes on top of the dresser, etc.

Post # 11
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had to make those in college, and they just didn’t work in that particular setting. Hopefully you and your SO have better luck, lol!

It’s definitely good to talk about finances and cleaning expectations, so I’d say try it. FI and I will likely do a more informal version and just talk about it.

Post # 13
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We didn’t even think of agreements when we bought our house – serious or lighthearted. I think a lighthearted one would be fun though! Like the Roommate Agreement from Big Bang Theory – you can outline who has control over the thermostat! Lol – I’m totally going to draft one up now!

Post # 14
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Interesting. Would you be willing to share some of teh stuff you come up with? It would be fun to read.

Post # 15
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would say if you are really trying to do an agreement to protect yourself finacially then keep the light hearted stuff out of it.  An agreement like that is going to be hard enough to stick to if things go poorly but if there is lighthearted jokey stuff in there it won’t help you at all. to @elivt  story if you ran into something like her friends situation but had some funny jokey stuff mixed in with serious finacial stuff it won’t be helpful.  Decide what your main purpose is and go from there
I think if you more concerned about sharing household duties then have fun and go lighthearted. 
Keep serious stuff serious and light stuff fun

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