- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Hi bees! Its been a while since i have been on here and a lot has happened! Sorry in advance..this is going to be really long!
After everything that went on with my family and DH’s family (reference previous post), both were able to cool down for a few weeks and things got a lot better! On October 28th, DH and I got married!! Everything went perfectly, the families were getting along, and honestly I couldn’t have been happier!!
Since we live in the Northeast we were really hit hard by Sandy and we didn’t end up going on our honeymoon until a week after the wedding. No biggie. During that time we were soo consumed with rebuilding (and basking in the fact that we were married) that a lot of things that were tied into the wedding including opening the gifts and worrying about the bills were put on the side. Just FYI, my parents did pay for the wedding but DH and I paid for a lot of things on our own including my wedding dress, his suits, pre-wedding parties, the bridal shower, furniture, and putting a large down payment on a house.
A little while after coming back from our honeymoon I contacted my mom about getting everyone together and opening all the wedding gifts. My mom was really vague about it and told me to talk to my dad. A few days go by and I finally come to learn that while on my honeymoon my dad had opened all of our wedding gifts and deposited all the money into his account! When I asked him about it he said that since he paid for the wedding, all of the wedding gifts and cards are his. I was dumbfounded! This had never been discussed and to make things worse, DH and I had already decided on gifting all the money we got from the wedding to my dad! I then asked him if I can at least see the cards and read all the well wishes people sent us but he says those are his too and he has already put them away. 🙁
A few days later I find out that he has also taken the $500 gift my DH gave me a few hours before our wedding and has stored it away. When I asked him for it back he said if I ever needed it or anything else all i need to do is ask him but until then he is going to keep it!
On a whole other note, I have a huge suspicion he is not allowing my mom or my siblings to come visit me and DH in our new home. After everything that happened..he actually vowed to not ever visit and has been following through! My entire extended family and lots of friends have come to visit and my own family hasn’t yet. My grandmother (thinking I knew what was going on) actually said that what my father is doing isn’t right and that even if he doesnt want to come over my family should be allowed to without upsetting him. This situation has made me really sad especially since DH’s family is over all the time.
My DH has been very respectful and sweet throughout all of this but he’s just as upset as I am. This isn’t supposed to make my father look like a really horrible person. He took care of me and my family all my life and has been my rock throughout everything. I am just really upset with everything that is going on and worried that this will bring back old problems. I think to a certain extent he still holds resentment against DH and DH’s family about everything that happened and that’s why he is acting this away. I just don’t know what to do and horribly I’m starting to feel really resentful towards him.
I need to know…. do you think that is there anything I can do to rectify this entire situation? Just thinking about all of this gives me soo much anxiety.
Sorry again for this being soo long but any advice would be greatly appreciated!