My New Name….Help Please…. : )

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: WWYD - What would you do?
    Keep separate names : (16 votes)
    36 %
    Double Barrel : (12 votes)
    27 %
    Portmanteau : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Take Brides name : (15 votes)
    33 %
    Choose new name : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    6740 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would keep separate names.  And for future children- I have a different name than my daughter and it is no big deal.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6740 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Jennyflower:  my oldest daughter is from my first marriage and has my ex husbands last name. It rarely comes up, except maybe the first day of school.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Of those choices, I would keep separate names, although I don’t think your become Mrs. Geddes.  I think you would stay Ms. Geddes.  At least, I have never seen Mrs. used in connection with a maiden name….

    Post # 7
    Member
    10988 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Would you consider taking your husband’s name legally, changing your middle name to your maiden name, using your first and middle names only while at work (i.e. going by Ms. Geddes at school), and giving each of your children your maiden name as their middle name?

    In this case you legally would be (using your bee name) Jennyflower Geddes Howling, but would always go by Ms. Geddes at school.  Your children would be (again, just picking examples) Jack Geddes Howling and Julie Geddes Howling.

    Post # 9
    Member
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    Jennyflower:  My mom didn’t change her name when my parents were married. My sister and I were Firstname Geddes Howling. The Geddes is a middle name so not used often, but it’s still in there. I know that was important to my mom. Would something like that work for you?

    And then when I got married we had a similar dilemma, and we just picked a completely new name and legally changed our names after the wedding. Not a portmanteau, something completely different. I actually dropped both my mother’s (middle) and father’s (last) names when I changed my name, so I am just FirstName NewLastName. I felt weird keeping one or the other plus I’d never used my middle name personally or professionally (it’s hard to spell and pronounce) so didn’t feel like I needed one. My husband is now FirstName OriginalMiddleName NewLastName. That’s double exciting though because his initials are SAM and his name is Sam….

    Anyway, just offering a couple of other options.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

     

    Jennyflower:  Interesting.  I  have never seen that here.  I didn’t change my name in my previous marriage, and I only ever used Ms.  the only time I used Mrs. was socially, when I used his name.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m keeping my name and he’s keeping his, but the kids, if we ever have any, will have his name. It’s the same thing that my parents did, and we never had any issues with my mother’s surname being different than mine.

    Post # 14
    Member
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    Jennyflower:  Well some people use their middle names. I didn’t. My sister does. Honestly, it sounds like you’re not going to be happy unless you keep your name and somehow give it to your kids. WHich is fine, and totally understandable. It’s you! Anyway, if he’s ok with taking your name, that seems like it would solve your dilemma. FWIW, I also think Geddes would make a cool first name, but that’s my taste.

    Also remember you don’t have to decide immediately. At least in the US, you can change your name whenever. So you could keep yours and see how you feel once kids come along. Or if you want multiple kids you could give one your last name and one his.

    And that dilemma is exactly how we ended up with a totally new name. Neither of us wanted to just take the other one’s name, we didn’t like any of the portmanteau options, and we wanted the same last name. We’re weird though. 🙂

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