My niece is a terror. Sigh…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LadyMoriarty:  Is your neice a flower girl?  If not – can you get a babysitter to watch her for the day? Maybe someone who you know is responsible/trustworthy – for example, a friend’s mom or a friend’s sister who wouldnt be invited to the wedding but would be fine doing this favor?

My FI’s nephew is our ring bearer, but we want him to leave once dinner is over (Our friends are all big parties so ppl will definitely be getting very drunk and dancing all night and we don’t want a 5 yr old in the mix) so we are thinking about finding a baby sitter for him. We also dont want FI’s mom stuck watching him since his sister (nephews mom) tends to not watch her own kid. 

Post # 4
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LadyMoriarty:  Talk to her yourself, one on one. And put the fear of god into her. So, Serious Face, evil voice, inventive and graphic repercussions 😉 


…Maybe not, but it’s what I usually do to make unruly kids behave. Sometimes the authority of someone who isn’t their parent can work.

Post # 6
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@LadyMoriarty:  If she absolutely must attend and cannot be looked after by someone at home or on site, seat your sister and niece in the back of the ceremony on the aisle and have an usher assigned them, on task to escort them OUT the very second she starts up. Wait for them to exit, and then continue on your ceremony.

Post # 7
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a neice that’s the exact.same.way. The shrieking, my god the shrieking!

i don’t have much advice, because my SIL is the same way also, she babies her and puts up with murder, and there’s no discipline. The only thing is maybe if you talk to her yourself.

The thing is tho, there does come a point where you have to stop mentioning it, because all its going to do is cause problems with your sister. You either have to invite her and accept the consequencesm or don’t invite her at all.

Post # 8
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

Try having her favourite (quiet) toys under a seat at the ceremony location. Maybe some colouring books too. It only has to hold her attention for 30 mins. 

Also, the kids won’t bother you as much as you think. We had a couple of young ones and two started crying in the ceremony. This was my nightmare before, but it hardly bothered me on the day. 

Post # 11
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

Do u know anyone else with kids who could take your niece and their own kids to a super fun play place for kids – like an indoor bounce place just for the few hours you  need for the ceremony. Honestly most 4 year olds are perfectly capable of understanding the seriousness oa wedding and should be able to behave well but if this is not the case then this would be a great solution for everyone and your niece would certainly have a fun time ! GL!

Post # 12
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

@LadyMoriarty:  Oh man, she sounds like a right pain. What a spoilt brat.

I think hiring someone to take care of her at the venue is probably your best bet. Sounds like you need a super nanny or something though! If that doesn’t work out then I would be firm about asking your sister to take her out if she starts acting up. 

You can ask the person conducting the ceremony to pause and ask her to leave (in a nice way). Ours said he would be happy to do this if we wanted, then the family can’t really be angry at you. Luckily ours were pretty nice children and not screamers, just criers. Quite legitimately too as they were both pretty jet lagged. 

Post # 13
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t know if this will help, but we had an uninvited infant scream through the entire ceremony, and we didn’t even notice it until we got the video back!

Post # 14
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LadyMoriarty:  I was also thinking of having an on site sitter available.  I’m having a bit of the same issue.  My niece to be is 10 & my FSIL/MOH screams at her all day.  She was annoyed that I said children could not attend, but I’m actually doing her a favor.  She won’t have to yell and be aggravated as well support me on the biggest day of my life.  It’s hard bcuz as brides we don’t want to seem selfish but the whole darned day is about us & our FI.  I hope your niece either matures or your sis considers a sitter.  Good Luck!

Post # 15
44 posts

@AnotherMrsBrown:  +1

I agree with asking the person conducting the ceremony to pause it if there is any disruption. He/She could ask whoever is causing the disruption to step inside and it would not look bad on you. Plus it would imbarrass your sister and MAYBE get her to realize how bratty her child is.

Post # 16
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LadyMoriarty:  As a parent, I was always reluctant to have a babysitter I didn’t know personally. So don’t be surprised if your sister vetoes it.

How about someone paying for BIL’s airfare instead? (It’s rather strange him not coming to start with. You could point out it’d be much easier for your sister to enjoy the wedding if he husband is there).

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