(Closed) My no pressure ultimatum

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say do what you want with your eggs and your money! Are you guys living together yet? Are your finances combined? If not, what you do with your money is up to you 😉

Post # 4
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally, I think its a realistic way to keep your options open.

Post # 6
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say its the best way… i totally agree

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you are being smart about it! Don’t listen to mom and do what right for you|!

Post # 8
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with the others!  It sounds like the best way for your to keep your options open.

Post # 9
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re not being manipulative at all.  I think it was a very wise choice to freeze your eggs.  I would have done the same thing myself when the time came for it. 

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I think it is very smart ot take charge of your life like this.  I think egg freezing is still a new technology and less known than embryo freezing, but if you are set on having bio kids, it makes sense to do this.  It is your best insurance.  If your BF is not at a point to propose, that is totally ok.  But it also means this is YOUR decision.  Why don’t you set a time to do it in 6 months – and see if by then things have evolved with the BF?

Post # 11
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It sounds like you’re being very smart about it! When are you planning on having your eggs frozen? If he knows when you’re planning on doing it, maybe it would help to speed up the conversations about marriage and a definite timeline for the wedding and TTC!

Post # 12
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I was a little worried that this would be crazy town . . . but you’re being totally reasonable! It sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and freezing your eggs is very smart. It’s a pretty instense process, but I think the peace of mind alone would be worth it. Good luck and keep us posted! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
5068 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s a very smart decision. Its the best way to improve your chances of having a baby.

Post # 14
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

Hmm… I can see how your BF might feel pressured by this because $15k is a LOT of money. He might feel like you’re sending a message to him like, “UGH, since you’re not ready for kids yet, I’m going to have to spend ALL of this money to make sure I can have a baby someday.” And he might feel like he’s being put in a position where he’s expected to say, “No wait, don’t do that! I want to have kids with you!”

Not saying you shouldn’t do it — as others said, it is good insurance to preserve the ability to do something very important to you. But I guess I hope that you’re not doing this hoping for him to talk you out of it, and/or would feel resentful of him for not being ready yet.

Post # 15
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think it’s an ultimatium unless you are trying to use it as such.  If you want to freeze your eggs then go for it.  But having been with your BF for 6 months – that doesn’t seem like a lot of time to get to know someone.

Post # 16
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

Could you communicate with your boyfriend the statistical facts on fertility? Tell him that you love him, can’t imagine yourself with anyone else, and want to marry him one day, but if he doesn’t have intentions that match with yours then you are going to freeze your eggs because you can’t risk waiting for him to figure out what he wants. If he does want to get married then you won’t freeze your eggs.

I personally don’t think it takes that long to figure out if you could be with someone or not. Guys I feel use it as an excuse to not be tied down since society makes men look less manly when they get married, which isn’t that case at all. They are men in my eyes when they finally want a family.

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