My Parents are Divorcing

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry, sweetie. That has to be tough. I don’t really have any advice to offer, but just know that I’ve only known my mom’s parents as divorced (and remarried), and as a kid, I LOVED it. More grandparents to spoil me!

Post # 4
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Tomato22:  When I moved out of my parents house, my parents also divorsed. they were married for 20 years, so I know how you feel. It is very hard, but I found that I had a much better relationship with my father after the split. My mother, on the other hand, now lives in a different country, but I found I learnt a lot about myself and I matured a lot. 

If you find that you have anger inside, try writing letters to your parents, but don’t send it. Just vent it all out and say what you want without fear of offending. Throw the letters away after. Do it the next day if you have to. I did it and I was oh so tempted to send one to my mother. She had left the country without saying goodbye, so I had a lot of anger lol. 

I hope that you are doing okay and I know how hard it is trying not to be caught in the middle. I have no idea what I’m going to do for the wedding. My mother is with her ex now and he and my father knew each other in the past, so it should be interesting. 

All you can do is lend an ear to both and try to be as partial as you can. Good luck my dear!

Post # 5
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My parents also divorced after 30 years. It’s a tough thing to go through. As far as getting caught in the middle, well, my mom cheated on my dad so I didn’t speak to her for quite a while after I found out. But after awhile I realized that my parents are adults and this is between them. She is my mother and she made a mistake and I still love her and ultimately want both of them to be happy, which they weren’t in the marriage. It makes it easier when you separate yourself from their divorce and look at them as your mother and your father whom you love and leave the breaking up parts to them. They both need your love and support. I know it’s not easy, and things will change so much, but the world has not ended, it’s just different. Sending you strength in this tough time. 

Post # 6
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh also – I did see a therapist for a few months to work through my own feelings about it. It really helped.

Post # 7
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Becca2922:  Ha! My mother is with her ex as well!! If I find myself with my ex in 30 years, someone just shoot me. There’s a reason he’s my ex and I hope 30 years doesn’t make me forget that. 

Post # 8
Member
4468 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Tomato22:  I’m really sorry to hear:( I hope everything works out in the best way possible and all the best to you in TTC:) *hugs*

 

Post # 10
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard stuff at any age. My parents recently split up too. Unfortunately – my mom did a bit of a 180 and turned into a completely different person. Her and I do not have a relationship at this point due to her behaviour (not just leaving my dad, but the way she has treated me throughout the process and beforehand). 

My advice for you, is to try to maintain a relationship with both of your parents as individuals. You mentioned you and your mom are best friends. It’s going to be a lot harder once she talks to your dad and the wheel is set in motion. Try to stay out of their relationship business as much as you can. Sometimes these situations seem cut and dry, but then there are emotions of a whole other person to bring into it, your dad. 

Stay strong. It will take some time to adjust to the new family dynamic, but it’ll get a bit easier in time and your future kids will get love from everyone, no matter what. 

 

Post # 12
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Tomato22:  I just want to say I am sorry about how you’re feeling. My parents are divorced too, and I really hope yours have a decent split that isn’t any more nasty or dramatic than it has to be. I don’t assume divorces are ever very easy, but sometimes they can at least be “less difficult.”

Post # 13
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Tomato22:  My dad was the same way. Then he showed up crying on my doorstep and has been making it up to me ever since. We have a seriously great relationship now, when before I used to hate his guts. One of the great things that came out of the break up!

 

@jny1179:  Haha! I know right! I would never do that. Fingers crossed!

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