My parent's aren't coming to my wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Hiring dog-sitters is expensive.  Taking time off of work when you run your own company is a lot more difficult than if you were an employee elsewhere.  I haven’t had a vacation in over 4 years.  When I go on “vacation” I’m still working. (EDIT for clarity: My father and I run a company)

 

How far do they have to travel for your wedding?  It is sad that they can’t attend.  How much notice did they have to plan and set money aside for traveling?

 

Post # 4
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@LMD:  Oh for God’s sake, it’s their only daughter’s wedding! Come on. Those are just excuses. 

I am so sorry you are going through this. They will regret it in a very short amount of time. I would be sure and remember their sentiments when they want to see grandchildren.

Post # 6
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@kellyk1214:  Yeah, it is.  But some people simply cannot afford travel expenses.  OP hasn’t let us know how far they are expected to travel.  That is an important bit of information.  And it is entirely possible that they simply cannot afford to take the time away + pay for dog care (which IS EXPENSIVE!).  A wedding is NOT a good reason to expect someone to put themselves in a difficult financial situation – only daughter or not.  I understand, based on OP’s comments, that she feels it is simply an objection to her relocation, but it would be silly to dismiss the fact that they don’t want/can’t afford to lose out on the income.  There are two sides of the story here, and I am simply exploring both.  Perhaps it would be nice for OP to offer to help with travel expenses or dog boarding expenses as a way to encourage her parents to come?  But it’s ridiculous to expect them to bare a heavy (as they are making it sound to OP) financial burden to attend a wedding.

 

It is really perplexing to me that some people expect everyone can just afford to do whatever they need to to make it to a wedding.  

 

EDIT:  Saw OP’s response.  I’m sorry then, if they are financially well off, that they will not make an effort to attend your wedding.  I agree that they may come to regret that decision.  

 

Post # 8
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sketchmedesire:  honestly I know this sounds terrible but some people just don’t think weddings are a big deal at all.

My parents are more happy that I graduated college than finding my fiance.

The celebration they will throw for me once I complete grad school will probably be astronomically better than the wedding me and my fiance have planned not because they don’t love him, just because their own priorities are different and I understand.

Don’t feel too bad OP.

EDIT: the graduation party they threw for me and invited all our extended family was like $100 a plate and they were very involved and planned the whole thing. For my wedding, they offered to contribute a little but I didn’t take it and they don’t really care how its done at all.

Post # 9
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@sketchmedesire:  Well then that blows.  I’m sorry to hear that.  🙁

Post # 10
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well that sucks. I don’t think there’s anything more you can do about it at this point, but I agree that it totally sucks! Just try not to let it get to you. Focus on the people who will be there and the things you’re excited about!

Post # 11
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

They should not have made you feel like you had to resort to begging for them to attend. And, you did everything you could. I’m so sorry. 🙁 Even though they won’t be there, I hope your wedding is beautiful and memorable for all of the right reasons. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That sucks, I’m sorry. Attending your daughter’s wedding should take priority over a lot of stuff… I’m sure they could have made arrangements if they wanted to. 

Post # 13
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My parent’s aren’t coming to my wedding either, OP. And it’s a 30 minute drive from their home. I TOTALLY feel your pain and I know that nothing will change the yuckiness of your parents not being there.

This is what I tell myself: “I’m marrying the man of my dreams surrounded by people who love me. If my parents aren’t there, that is their choice, but I won’t allow that to detract from MY day with the love of MY life.”

Repeat to yourself ad nauseum, and feel free to PM me if you just need to vent. I cry randomly alone in my car ALL.THE.TIME!

 

 

Post # 14
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am so sorry they made the decision not to attend! How close are you to your family? Have they vocalized their feeling towards the marriage? Are they putting any expenses towards your wedding? I wonder why they cannot tell you the real reason the don’t want to attend. I hope their excuses are not a surprise to you and FI. It is sad they will not attend their only daughters wedding. I promise you it is their loss.

Post # 16
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sketchmedesire:  Do they have any reason to not support your marriage? How do they feel about your FI?

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