My parents, especially my mom, could care less about my wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Hamans1:  I don’t really have any advice, but my family has been the same way, a bit less mean, but mostly the same.

I totally understand how you feel FI’s family was so excited, and warm and welcoming. Mine doesnt give a shit mostly. I’ve been engaged, and they only just seem to be really warming up to the whole thing

I’m always here if you need anything


Post # 4
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

If I were you, I’d be tempted to not invite them to your wedding.

Do they have a habit of treating you as “lesser than,” compared to other members of the family, that are always in the spotlight? Could they be trying to imply you’re not “important enough” for a wedding?

If so, prove them wrong. You do deserve a wonderful wedding. But they probably don’t deserve to be invited to it.

Post # 5
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Is this normal for your mother? Is she normally not excited by things in your life? 


If your FI’s family is excited for you then I would try to concentrate on them. You are becoming a part of their family afterall!

If they aren’t excited either, then cancel it and have a small ceremony with only those who actually care about you. 

Post # 6
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge

Is there something else going on? Do they approve of your relationship? Is there a religious issue of how you’re getting married? 

It seems extremely odd for people to act like this out of the blue? Are they usually not involved in your life? Focus on support from your bridesmaids, sister, etc. Hope you have a wonderful wedding and can move on with your life.

Post # 7
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Hamans1:  My family is the same way as well. I’m not gonna say it stops hurting, but you’ll get used to it…eventually. Part of the reason I’m not having a “wedding” wedding is because I have no one to invite. My Mom might take some time off work and come down here (it’s a 7 1/2 hr. drive), but that’s all she’d do, show up. She had zero involvement in my first wedding, so I don’t expect the second time to be any better. My sister (only sibling, who only lives 2 1/2 hrs. away) probably would only come if she didn’t already have plans that weekend, which would be slim to none. My Dad has never, in 10 years, been down here where I live. And I basically have no friends. Several aquaintances, but nothing more. So I just deal with it. It sucks, but I can’t make people give a shit. If nothing else, you can know, you’re not alone. 🙂

Post # 8
109 posts
Blushing bee

@Hamans1:  It’s your wedding. If your family doesn’t care, then simply ignore them! You deserve to have fun and enjoy yourself. Make it a day just for you and your fiance. (Everyone else who’s not interested can go to hell!–oops, pardon my language)

Post # 11
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Hamans1:  I think you just have to stop worrying about whether they care or not.  My family is like yours (i.e. when I told my mom I was engaged, she told me to not be fat on my wedding day), but I learned that the sooner I stopped caring about what they thought the happier I was.

Post # 12
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

All the advice I can give you is to focus on what makes you happy about the wedding and don’t count on your family to come around – you only set yourself up for more heart ache that way. My mum was totally uninterested by my wedding and I was hoping to the very end that it would all change as the wedding became more of a reality. It didn’t and that hurt so bad – in retrospect I wish I would have “counted them out” as soon as I got my parents lukewarm congrats to our engagement. I didn’t and so I was heart broken the days around the wedding. 

Find a pair of nice bridesmaids and have fun/rely on them! Good luck!

Post # 13
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Other than during this planning are you guys close at all? Honestly if you aren’t then I don’t know if I’d even invite her. Personally I don’t want anyone at my wedding that doesn’t truly want to be there and support us. Family or not.

I’ve never been a blood-is-thicker-than-water type person. Just because she is your mom doesn’t mean you have to turn the other cheek when she doesn’t treat you well.

Post # 14
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Was it your idea to skip college graduation or theirs?


Honestly it sounds like you are normally very low key they follow along with your behavior.

Have you point blank told them that you are looking forward to their exciment?  


Plus while six weeks is close to a wedding, some people just don’t plan ahead….its their business what they wear….why are you stressing out of it.

Post # 15
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

 Unfortunately you can’t make anyone care about your wedding. Are you excited about your wedding and getting married? I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t let them influence how you feel. Is your FI’s family excited for you guys? Can you lean a bit more on his family?


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