My parents ruined my relationship.

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

How old are you?

Post # 4
Member
4607 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

hockeygirl715 :  I’m sorry but he wants to break up with you, so that’s it. It’s his choice. 

Whenever anyone posts these kinds of problems where their SO’s parent is overly involved in their lives/relationship, the advice is always the same: you don’t have a parent problem, you have a SO problem. You have to look at yourself and understand why you let your mom have such a say in your life and relationship. Individual therapy is a good idea. But don’t go with the hopes of getting your ad back. Go to better yourself. 

Post # 5
Member
11169 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think one of the first steps in your making some positive changes is to realize that your parents aren’t the cause of the break up. You admitted several times in your post that you were being manipulative and/or you need to stop being manipulative to get what you want. You can’t change your mother, but you can change your own behavior and how you’re viewing this situation.

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

Just curious, what was the purchase? Why did your mom and him disagree? 

Post # 8
Member
4408 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

First things first — he broke up with you, he’s not your boyfriend anymore.  No matter if it was caused by your parents or not, he broke up with you.  If you have been manipulative then yes, I understand why he broke up with you.  Now is hte time to work on yourself, but don’t expect him to still be there in 6 months.  Treat this like a legitimate breakup because that’s what it is.  Learn from this and move on to become your best self.

Post # 10
Member
2487 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

He sounds like my ex boyfriend from when I was around your age. Turns out he was the manipulative, controlling one. He would get angry when I would take my parent’s advice too because he only wanted me to listen to him.  He lead me to believe that they were always wrong and didn’t want me to be happy. He almost tore me away from my parents who I am incredibly close to. Sometimes parents see things when we have blinders on. Maybe this isn’t the same as your situation, but I do see similarities. 

Post # 11
Member
3168 posts
Sugar bee

hockeygirl715 :  If you allowed your parents to interfere with your relationship that is still your responsibility–it’s not their fault you and your boyfriend broke up. That’s between the two of you.

At your age I didn’t need anyone’s input to buy a car. Do you still live with your parents? Does your ex? (He is your ex.)

Take this time alone to figure out your life and gain some independence and maturity before you seek out a new relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee

Unless your boyfriend was helping you pay for the car, he has no reason to be telling what you can or can’t get. It’s none of his business. Why is he surprised that after you signed the papers, you can’t give the car back? Duh. That’s how it works, once you sign, it’s final. That’s no reason for him to be mad.

maybe your mom is manipulative and you have an unhealthy relationship with her. Maybe your mom knows way more about purchasing cars and what was a smart choice and your boyfriend is out of line. Can’t really tell from your posts which is which.

Post # 14
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

I don’t get it. So YOU signed the papers to buy a car… and he got mad about it? How did you act manipulative? How did you break his trust? Did you spend any of his money on it? If not, he has no right to be mad.

I wonder if he’s just grasping at straws to blame this relationship failure on you and that you’re allowing him to do it. 

Post # 15
Member
4408 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

hockeygirl715 :  You may have planned to get married but it is very obvious you are in two different places right now.  Meaning, you need to move on without him and work on yourself.  You’re 21, you will absolutely meet someone else.  I mean, I met my first boyfriend at age 21.

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