My Parents Won't be able to attend my Wedding

posted 2 months ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Unhappybride30, 

I am very sorry that your father’s health has deteriorated and he and your mother will not be able to travel to be with you on your wedding day. I know that I (and probably most of the other bees) have no real idea of the struggles that you and your family have already been through due to your refugee status. I can only imagine that this is just one more unfortunate obstacle that you have to bear. 

It sounds like your family wants you to move forward with the wedding as planned. I would suggest honoring their wishes. I am sure being away from you is very difficult on them as well and with your father’s poor health you certainly don’t want to add to their stress knowing how upset you are. 

Is there a way you could live stream the wedding on the internet so that they can “see” you get married? Perhaps there is a way that you can honor their presence? Maybe include something that belongs to them in your ceremony by pinning it to your dress or carrying it within the bouquet (if you have one)?

Post # 3
Member
393 posts
Helper bee

Well this sucks. But your parents are right. Life goes on, and you need to move forward. You’ve already shown strength in moving to another country, you can do this. Of course it’s not ideal, and you’ll miss them there, but you’re also starting an amazing journey with your FI.

I’m not having a videographer, but in this case, I most definitely would with the hopes that they may be able to view it later. Skype the wedding live if possible. 

Take comfort in knowing that your parents love you and wish they could be with you (which according to a lot of bees posting here, is not always the case).

Post # 4
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Oh Bee, your story breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I would also be devastated.

Is eloping a possibility? You could just go to the courthouse and move forward with your life, and then maybe in a few years when things have settled down you can do a proper party/ceremony with you family present?

Post # 5
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris

I am just sending a virtual hug.

I am so sorry.

Post # 6
Member
3753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

unhappybride30 :  I understand how you are feeling. I couldn’t imagine getting married without my parents with me. It’s a very small solution, but could they FaceTime for the entire ceremony? They won’t physically be there, but they can still see and watch it happen live. 

Post # 7
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

How wonderfully generous that your DF wishes you well and encourages you to proceed. He must truly support the union between you and your FI.

In that spirit, plan as many ways as you can to have him with you in spirit at the wedding. Perhaps a toast to your dad after the toast to your marriage, photos of your mom and dad displayed in the reception/cocktail area, mention of your dad in a welcoming speech made by your officiant. 

YES ABSOLUTELY to FaceTiming or videography of the whole event, to allow Dad to be there when he can’t be there.

Confronting a situation such as yours can bring unexpected gifts. Be enriched by how much your dear parents both love you, and relish the first moments of yourunion with your new husband.

Post # 8
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Hugs! All the hugs for you.

I live in California USA where we have a very large immigrant population and sadly this is very common. I have a close friend from the Ukraine who had to get married without her family present. It was very difficult for her but her husband’s family took her in as one of their own.

How about you? Have you made any friends in Canada who can offer you support on your day? What about your future husband’s family? I know it’s not the same but I’m sure you are loved and cared for by others. 

If your venue allows it, I would use Skype or FaceTime to live stream the wedding so your parents can watch. 

Best wishes to you!

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