My Plus Sized bridesmaid dropped out!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Ugh that’s so annoying!!! She needs to make some changes and start feeling better about herself.

 

BTW I LOVE the dress. I think it’s gorgeous.

Post # 4
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have you talked to the store and see if it’s possible to cancel your MOH’s order? Also, do you think your friend might change her mind over the upcoming months? She can still wait til, say, December to order the dress and have a comfortable amount of time for alterations. I can tell how much your friend means to you and how important it would be to have her standing up with you. 

Regardless, I do really like that dress. It’s quite lovely. 

Post # 5
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sure it’s no consolation at this point, but I actually love those dresses and your post encouraged me to put them on the list of possibles for my BMs.  They’re gorgeous!

 

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that dress is SO pretty!

Sorry you bent over backwards for her and she still dropped out, though!

Post # 7
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Are they all ordering from the same store? If they are, they might not have placed the order for your MOH’s dress yet. You might not be able to get your money back and do online, but you might be able to pick a different dress from the same store. Our store didn’t put in the order until they had all of the bridesmaids so that they would be put in together.

Post # 8
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That sucks that the dress isn’t what you wanted, and that your friend felt she couldn’t be in the bridal party due to body issues.

With that said, as someone with a larger stomach, I’d definitely feel uncomfortable in that dress.  The rouching on the stomach tends to make the stomach look even larger, and those straps make your chest/shoulders look horrible too (when you’re bigger).  You also can’t wear a decent bra with it, which is pretty vital for a larger person with any sort of chest.

I wore a similar dress as a BM for my sister’s wedding, and if she hadn’t been my sister I’d probably have dropped out too.  Everytime I see a picture of myself in it I want to cry, and I’m definitely not self concious about my weight.  Looking back on it, I sort of wish I’d told her I couldn’t do it too… I can’t walk through her or my parents house anymore without hating how horrible I look.  (This coming from someone who literally has photos up of being out in the field for 3 days without showering).

 

Post # 10
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Did the GM say he was dropping out too?

Post # 13
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  Oh, the way the first post reads is that you looked at dresses and chose one that you thought would be flattering on her, not that she tried some on and you decided together which would be most flattering.  Huge difference in my opinion if SHE chose the dress than if YOU did without her input.

Post # 14
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  If you’re comfortable with the dress they have now and can honestly say that you’re not going to let it linger in your head, then no it’s not worth it. However, if this is one of those details that’s going to stick with you and that’s going to color your view everytime you look at your wedding photos, then it might be worth it to at least consider it unless you’re completely swamped with everything else.

The most important part of the day is obviously getting married to your love and beginning a new chapter of your lives. Aside from the marriage itself, the pictures and video are going to be the most lasting artifact of your wedding day. If you think you’ll always side-eye the bridesmaids photos because of those dresses, I really recommend thinking about getting the dress you want for them. 

Post # 15
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  Uneven? If he’s a close friend and there are no issues with him, I don’t get why you’d drop a close friend to keep thing even. Is this purely for pictures? 

 

I’m not having a big bridal party so maybe I don’t get it but I wouldn’t cut anyone for symmetry. 

 

Post # 16
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon:  I am so so sorry this is happening to you especially after you were so thoughtful and tried to choose a dress that was less form fitting for her.  

I have never been to alfred angelo before but I have heard they’re like Davids’? (which actually surprised me the dress was 200 I expected them to be a little less from there) Do they have a policy like Davids’ though – Davids’ allows you to get store credit for the dress so you could essentially pick a different one. BUT I do have to agree with everyone else I think the dress is great! It’s actually just what I am thinking of without the straps 🙂

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