my rant for the day because i'm hormonal

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Attending weddings is just as expensive as having one sometimes!(or that’s how it feels)

Can you split the hotel with another couple at either place? I know it isn’t ideal, but it is a money saver! Same with the rental car! And let your friend know that money is tight so that she keeps your budget in mind while picking out dresses.

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

can you take a bus? train?  those are cheaper than flying…if possible. 

We took a bus from our city to NYC and it cost, round trip for 3 of us, $125!!!  Only thing that cost us was hotel…3 of us shared a room – we got the block rate, which was cheaper.  

Post # 6
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is really frustrating. I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s part of the reason I don’t love going to a DW (sorry if you’re a DW bride!).

Vent away! You’re allowed 🙂

Post # 7
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@daniellemc:  That sucks. I would definitely ask around to the BP. Have a solid offer for a ride before you skip the rental car. What about the DR wedding? You should know a lot of people there. Sometimes the hotels offer 2 bedroom “suites” that are cheaper than 2 single rooms, and that may help save money.

I know its expensive and saving money is hard, but make a budget and follow it. If you simply can’t swing it, then cut back somewhere. Maybe your FI skips your friends wedding? That will save some money for the flight and food.

Post # 8
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  Ugh that IS frustrating when big unexpected expenses pop up.  I definitely don’t think you should push your own wedding back.  How would you feel about not attending your friends wedding?  If it’s later in 2014 and you haven’t already bought the dress, etc. then there is still time.  We had 2 groomsmen back out (1 with 3 months notice, one with 2 weeks notice).  While it wasn’t ideal and it was hurtful and disappointing at the time, there’s no hard feelings and we understood.

If you don’t think you can skip out on your friends wedding to save money, what about if you and your fiance find part time jobs to raise the extra money you’ll be losing from the two trips?  With both of you working part time you should be able to come up with the extra $ pretty quickly.  It totally sucks having to work nights/weekends instead of relaxing and spending time with each other, but it could be worth it for a short while to make some $.

Post # 10
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I just want to say that I also hate when people comment solely to fuel the fire or be bitchy. I can completely understand how you feel! Paying for a wedding becomes a huge expense (even with family help!) and I think you just start paying WAY more attention to where you spend your money. I find myself cringing when we get invited to weddings of friends we’re not super close to anymore/coworkers –especialyl when there’s travel involved– because we can barely save money per paycheck to put into our wedding account. I know some people will say stuff like “THEN YOU SHOULDN’T GET MARRIED IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE MONEY!” but the point isn’t that we don’t have it– it’s that we don’t have it PLUS spending money for fun trips. I know a lot of people who don’t have an exhorbitant amount of free money each month. I don’t feel bad about it or my willingness to sacrifice nights out with my girlfriends at a bar because it’s not in my budget. A budget is a budget. So no, you’re not in the wrong or being a bitch. And that’s a shit ton more money than I’ve had to spend to travel to a wedding so I feel for you times ten!

Post # 12
coyoteBee
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

I totally understand where you are coming from! My best friend is getting married in July and even though I am over the moon excited for her and her FI, I am just seeing the dollar signs. Buying a bridesmaid dress, buying gifts, flights for the bridal shower/bachelorette party/wedding, hotels and car rentals. Sigh.

We are already married, but saving for a house and a family and the wedding expenses are definitely setting us back a bit! Vent away!

PS. It’s funny you mention NC! I’m in NC and the wedding we’re attending is in upstate NY – 13 hours away by car.

Post # 14
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  Oh that is tough then since she’s your best friend.  I’d say maybe go solo, but honestly it probably won’t even save you that much money!  I’m sure you will figure something out and in a few days after it’s all sunken in it won’t seem so bad.  Everything always seems worse right when you find out!

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