- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
…and I’m tired of being the one who tries all the time.
Bees, at what point do you just accept the fact that sharing DNA with someone doesn’t make you friends? It doesn’t mean that they really care about you at all, except for how you may impact them?
My brother (3 years older than I am) has always been an attention whore, but the last few years it has gotten worse. Add to this issue that his wife, who used to be pretty nice and normal, has become more like him. Seriously, it’s like FH and I don’t exist. No one exists except for them.
Of course, now that they are expecting, this has become SO MUCH WORSE. I realize that when you are going through something exciting and amazing in your life, it’s hard to focus on other things, but this is really ridiculous. The only time I hear from them is to talk about themselves. When I try to mention something else, the conversation is just over. In person, if the conversation shifts from them, they stop participating, or else find a way to make it about them. It’s so disheartening.
It’s not even like I’m dying to discuss wedding stuff with them, either. It’s that they don’t discuss ANYTHING except themselves. They don’t ask us how we’re doing, how our weekend was, how FH’s family is – all that usual stuff. We reach out and talk to them, check in on them, make sure the lines of communication are open, but I’m so tired of not getting that back.
If I start a conversation, like “We did this great thing this weekend…blah blah” the response I’ll get is “Cool.” (finish) or “Cool. We did THIS GREAT THING … blah blah” all about them.
I know it sounds petty, but I’m just so tired of it. I feel like once the baby is born, it’s only going to get worse. It sounds childish, but I’m so tired of waiting for my own brother to actually love me enough to notice that I exist. It’s hurtful, and it makes me just not want to spend time with them. We live 5 minutes from them and see them (and our parents) often though, so that really isn’t an option without causing huge amounts of family drama.
It’s irritating, and I’m so ready to just scream at them, “You’re not the only people in this family!”
So this is basically just a rant, sorry. I’m just tired of putting in the effort and getting nothing back. Is it time to stop trying? He’s my only brother. I get more love and support from FH’s siblings than I get from my own. I love them and I’m glad to have them, but it still feels painful to have this weirdness with my bro.