my ridiculous Tiffany's problem

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
20 posts
Newbee

Nobody needs to know where the ring is from. Anyone who asks, you can simply respond with, “my, isn’t that question in poor taste?” It doesn’t matter one bit. 

Wear what you like. You’re the only one who has to wear it.

I’m familiar with people with similar attitudes to your family. Sometimes you have to speak slowly and clearly and point out that it is your jewelry, you love it because your FI chose it for you, and you look forward to passing it on someday.

Post # 4
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you can choose to not buy into their particular brand of snobbery…

Post # 5
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@furstwerldprahblems:  You will have several more speed bumps along the way in planning a wedding. Talk to your FI and make the decision together. Post a pic of the current ring.

Post # 6
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you talk to him about it, I’d focus less on your family and more on how you’d feel uncomfortable wearing it to work. 

Post # 7
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Ignoring the family judgement side of it: Do you want a different style that you pick out with your FI? then get another ring. However I do not think you should get another ring if you love the ring you have and you think your family will hate it.

 

Post # 8
Member
416 posts
Helper bee

I think what I really want to do– and I know this goes against what I told him– is just pick out a ring together at the antiques dealer that my family has known for years. I really want something that’d half the price, that feels like *us,* that I’ll never see on anyone else’s finger.

That’s your answer!

Post # 9
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

@furstwerldprahblems:  You aren’t horrible at all! The ring isn’t your style…..there is nothing wrong with admitting that. How will your fiancee handle you wanting to exchange the ring? If you think he’ll be on board with it, I say do it! If it will crush him beyond repair…..well, maybe do like the rest of your family and only wear on special occasions. You can always find a funky wedding band you adore. Can you post a pic of the ring?

Good luck OP! Keep us posted.

Post # 10
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Don’t feel bad at all. I have some experience with this culture and this type of situation is quite challenging to navigate. How to handle it is really situation-specific.

Is he the type that will be offended at the concept of getting a new ring?

Do you actually dislike the ring he got you, or are you just worried about what your parents will think?

Would he be more receptive to you requesting a new ring because of what you mentioned about feeling comfortable at work?

I think that you just need to take a deep breathe and sleep a couple more nights on this and the ring won’t feel like such a big deal anymore.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well you cant really return it, only exchange so youre pretty much stuck with a T&C ring (which yes, is the ultimate first world problem). You dont have to tell them where its from.

Post # 12
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m hearing two things 1) you really don’t like the ring and 2) you are anxious about what your fam will say. I think you should tell your fiance that as much as you appreciate his effort the ring just isn’t you. Leave out the negatives you feel about Tiffany’s. Unless you are in love with your family’s jeweler I suggest finding someoneelse to find your e-ring. Some other jeweler that is uniquely yours and your fiance’s to create your own traditions. 

 

Post # 13
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Set aside ALL the family stuff and only focus on what you want. Would you love a ring that cost half as much, a unique antique that you picked out together, much more than the ring you have now? If the answer is yes, go for it. But you can’t make these decisions based on what your family might think.

Post # 14
Member
3934 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@furstwerldprahblems:   Perhaps I missed it – but what do YOU think of the ring?  All on your own, without worrying about anyone else’s perception?  Do you love the ring?  

Post # 15
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

I say, try to forget about what your family thinks. Do you and your FI love the ring and feel comfortable with the price? If not then return it and get something you like more. If you love your ring then that’s all that matters in the end.

Post # 16
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

YOU wanted to be surprised. HE did what he thought would make you happy. You’re culpable in this. If you’re only concerned about familal appearances and not the effort and thought your FI put into it, you really need to evaluate your priorities.

What I would do at this point? If you really want another ring, go buy one yourself since you have the means to do so.

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