My sad realization

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

If ALL your BMs/closests girls turned out to be “bitches” it may be time to do some self reflection . Were your expectations reasonable?? 

Post # 4
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Texasgirl82:  not so much that…more so..I have no one im close with lol sad…im having 1 bridesmaid and a maid of honor….for a 60-80 guest wedding lol

Post # 6
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@WestCoastV:  +1 

Maybe your expectations were too high OP

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsBuesleBee:  +1

One of my friends at work swore up and down that her BMs were horrible and useless and self-obsessed.

A week after the wedding, she cam in and went “So I didn’t realize it until the day after the wedding… But I was a total Bridezilla. I had to appologize to ALL my friends, and now I owe them ALL dinner.”

Post # 8
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

What happened?

 

Mine were actually great and very supportive.  I got no push back whatsoever and everyone just clicked and had a great time.

Post # 10
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsBuesleBee:  THIS.

 

I cant imagine thinking ALL my friends are bitches and having no close friends. I think that speaks volumes about a person.

ETA: None of my SIX bridesmaids brought me a gift and only one gave me a card. I didnt want gifts nor did I expect them. IMO their time and money spent being in the bridal party was a gift.

Post # 11
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@MrsBuesleBee:  +1

Maybe you were expecting too much or ignored their feelings?

Post # 14
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

So you think they’re bitches because they only were there for you on the biggest day of your life and didn’t give a material gift? Your BM was right, she did give you the gift of her time. How did that get brought up anyway? Did you mention the lack of physical gift? Gifts are voluntary not a requirement. And you mentioned that you paid for the dresses, etc. That is something that you should have done anyway, it has nothing to do with the gift, or lack thereof. Did you give your BMs a gift or are you just expecting a gift from them?

ETA: in my opinion your expectations were reasonable, that they just wear the dress and be there. But it IS unreasonable to expect a gift and call them bitches when they don’t give you one. They met all your other expectations didn’t they? They were there for you?

Post # 15
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My girls didn’t give me a gift. They did give me a gift of their time. They could have done other things, one flew 3,000 miles, one drove down from Washington that was about 1,200 miles or so. They stood there on one of the most important days of my life.

If you feel you need a material, physical gift, that is an issue you need to address with yourself.

I think wanting to choose a hairstyle is not outlandish. She didn’t tell you that she didn’t want it done or that she was refusing, she wanted a few more moments to choose a hairstyle. So what?

As for the gifts… I think it makes you look materialistic to be upset that you want a gift. I was more than thankful to have people I loved with me on my wedding day. That’s more important than a stand mixer or a gift card to bed bath and beyond.

 

I don’t think they were bitches at all.

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