Post # 1
Bees, I need some help. Our guest list is ~130 or so, but I only have 5 or so people coming (bridesmaids included) that I actually talk to. Please help me not feel so bad for myself. It’s hard for me to make friends, and the friends I did have in years past just aren’t friends anymore.
I want more girlfriends and I don’t know what to do to not feel sorry for myself. My wedding shower was this today and almost no one came. Granted, there are different circumstances that could yield why people didn’t come, but if I actually had good friends and more than one, than distance wouldn’t be a problem.
It’s hard feeling like I’m a social failure. I know I’m a great friend and I’m fun to be around, but I just don’t have friends.
I feel so alone.
Post # 3
Girl- I had just under 100 guests. The only people that came on my side (outside of the 5 family member) were 3 people that were actually closer to my mother.
I had doubts about my bridal party (I should have fired two of them) and now I don’t speak to them. I would have rather been in your position, because quite frankly seeing those two girls in my wedding pictures makes my stomach turn. Be grateful those that you have are really close and would never hurt you.
Post # 4
I’m kind of in the same boat, just because I only want to invite friends that I am really close to. I was a little bummed about it when I was looking at my side of the guest list, but the bottom line is I get to marry a wonderful guy in front of people who really love and care about us- and I need to keep that in perspective!
Post # 5
Same here! Other than my parents, brother, sis in law and their 2 kids…I have no other family whatsoever coming. As for friends, well I wasnt one that kept great in touch with people..especially in college…. FI is my best friend. I do feel bad and sad because all of FI’s friends always wonder where all my gf’s are to set them up with…but I never have brought out any female friends….I havent had my bach party or shower yet, but its gonna be prettyy small…i have no idea who will show up…and as far as my wedding guest list…its pretty small too….i wish i had made more female friends in school..but i just wasnt focused on that part in my life…and now i feel sad too..but seriously, you only want to spend money celebrating with those that love you…so think of it as quality rather than quantity…you are marrying the love of your life! thats all that matters.
Post # 6
I am so glad other people are going through this. So embarrassing when FI is loading up the guest list and forgetting and adding people and I was well and done with it ages ago. I think the only thing that is really bothering me about this is that at the wedding, 3/4ths of everyone is going to be his guest list, and I feel a bit odd about some of his friends (they have always been a bit of an exclusive group).
Oh well, I suppose, I can just give you guys hugs about the whole thing and we will all get through it, knowing that those who love us will be there!
Post # 7
@nuva: thats the exct same ratio and situation as me too!!! wow, glad to know i’m not alone!
Post # 8
I don’t know about you but I know I have lost friends as I’ve gotten older, but it’s been for the better. The friends I have now are more trustworthy and mature. I’m sorry you feel that way about his friends not being too welcoming, but honestly I could see some of this being a good thing on my wedding day! My biggest concern about my reception is that I’ll be pulled in so many different directions all day I won’t have time to sit back and enjoy it. Maybe if you don’t have everyone coming up to you constantly to talk you can spend a little more time with your FI and close friends/family.
Post # 9
I am inviting mainly family on my side, and I regret asking two of my girls to be bridesmaids. And as far as other friends, girls my age are nowhere as mature as I am, and girls older than me are threatened by me. So, friends are few on this end, but as long as you surround yourself by people that love you, you’ll have the best day imaginable and won’t even worry about the numbers of who’s there.
Post # 10
J has a smaller list than I do. I feel kind of bad for him, but there’s really nothing we can do about it. His family actually happens to be huge, but his dad doesn’t talk to his brothers/sisters. It’s sort of relieving in a way because he is 1 of 16 children.
I don’t have many friends coming. Mostly family. I don’t really have many people that I talk to anymore.
Post # 11
Im right there with you! I had several friends in HS but as life happens distance happens and well you just dont keep in touch for whatever reasons we still go out and have “girl fun” but im not going to be inviting them to my wedding for two reasons #1 theyre all really flaky #2 im having a small wedding and we’re just not as close anymore, i still care dearly for them but thats the way it is sometimes now its just me and my family and maybe twice a year the girls get together
Post # 12
Oh man I am right there with you!
Out of 22 people that I need to invite to our wedding, only two of them are my friends. And one of those two is a man! Lol. I have a few acquaintances, but it’s always been really hard for me to make friends and after high school I sort of lost most of them due to distance and drifting, etc. 🙁
Anyone close to Spartanburg SC?
Post # 13
we want to be able to invite 300 people…. of those maybe 50 will be mine, but 30 will just be FYI invites with the understanding that NONE of them will be able to make it… My highschool friends are in Alaska, my college friends are in New York… my coworkers (mostly male – its the field) are in Utah and our wedding is in California… HAHA….
But at least I know that the people who do come REALLY love and support us…
Post # 14
omg that’s how my weddding was. I had 10 people come from my family and that includes bridesmaids and friends. Most of my family is on the east coast and in Sweden and England so most could not come.
Even though I had minimal amount of family there I didn’t even notice because I was having such a great time. Don’t worry about it just because they can’t be there physically doesn’t mean that you’re not loved.
Post # 15
@elired:Advice from my middle school English teacher.
The best friends you can have are those you can count on one hand.
If you have 1-5 close friends it’s better than having many friends you aren’t close to. Close friends are a true treasure.