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It's totally reasonable to be annoyed. Honestly, I think she is just jealous. In her mind she is probably thinking "I have been with my bf longer and I should be the one getting married." She is probably ready to get married and try to think of it as that, and not that she isn't happy for you, etc.
Hope things start to turn around for you soon! 
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Oh, it's too bad that your sister can't even fake being happy for you. Especially since she's your MOH! Is this an older sister? I wouldn't be surprised if she is jealous, just like littlebear said. She has been dating her bf longer than you and your Fi have been together and it looks like they're farther away from marriage. If she's an older sister, some resentment might also be coming from the fact that her little sis is tying the knot before she is.
I think it's totally ok to be upset about this, but I don't think you should ask her to step down as MOH. She is your sister, after all, and you're still going to have to have a relationship with her once this wedding is over. Maybe you could try backing off of the wedding talk with her for a while? I'm sure your other bms/friends would LOVE to gossip over details and planning. Hopefully, she will come around before the wedding, but if she doesn't, you could always sit down with her for a heart-to-heart. Explain that this is such an important step in your life and you really need your sister's support and love. Hopefully, if you take the limelight off of your wedding and put the focus back onto expanding/strengthening your relationship with your sister, things will get better. Good luck!
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This might sound like a horrible idea - but could you talk to her boyfriend about it? Ask him if he's planning to propose, and if he can talk to her about a timeline for it, because then she will know that it will be coming, and maybe then she'll stop acting so sullen.
I think she might be jealous but its more likely that she is resentful - she thinks that because you've been engaged for two years, and are getting married in 8 months, maybe she thinks that her boyfriend doesn't want to steal your thunder and is going to wait until after your wedding. This would make it your fault that she's not engaged.
I think you should also talk to your sister - you should tell her that you want her to be your maid of honor, and that you need her input - and that if she isn't up to the task, you would like to give that honor to somebody else. She might be okay with that - I know when my pre-engagement anxiety reached its highest height, I would have cried if somebody had asked me to be her MOH when they had started dating after we did. (It sounds horrible and selfish and petty now, but that's the reality.) I think you may need to recognize that she is probably going through a fairly difficult period in her own relationship, if you think jealousy really is a factor. It is really tough to be waiting for a proposal and have to be happy for somebody else - she may not be up to it.
I know I'm in the minority, but instead of getting annoyed with her and thinking about how this is all affecting you, why not put yourself in her shoes and talk to her about how she is feeling. She's your sister, she's probably a little jealous and a lot bummed out. Your wedding is just a day {or two/three}, but your relationship with your sister isn't worth throwing out just to have somebody trail after you at a bridal show.
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I sort of agree with Kate. Though I think it's very sad that your sister can't be happy for you on her own, maybe talking to her about everything will help. Just let her know that you need her as a sister right now, not as the jealous person she's been acting like. Tell you that you understand that it's tough for her to see you go through what she wishes she were going through, but her time will come and it will be all about her. Hopefully, a one on one will help her come out of her funk.
Good luck!
I definately think there is some jealousy and/or resentment there. I think a heart to heart is a good way to go. Maybe start off by asking her if anything is wrong, how work is, life with the BF and maybe let her know you noticed she's been kind of upset and go from there.
And I wouldn't think of it as "dethroning". I would think it's a totally feasable option to tell a wedding party that maybe it just won't work out for them to be part of the wedding. There are reasons for this all the time, and it doesn't need to be a break in a relationship. Maybe it's just for the best.
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Of course she has some jealousy issues. In a perfect world, she would be simply happy for you. I think deep dwon she is. And if she was already married, I think you would be having a completely different expereince with her right now. But I think her feelings are pretty common for her situation.
I agree with what Kate said. Maybe if you take the time to tell her you understand how bummed she is, and you wish you could be helping her plan a wedding to, that might deflate some of the anger that she's expressing. SOmetimes it helps just to know someone gets you. She probably feels overwhelmed feeling like she is supposedto simply be happy for you, while she's trying to deal with her true feelings. And either she tells herself, or someone else is telling her she's be selfish by not simply being happy for you. It's hard. I think many people would feel that way, in her shoes.
With that said, I don't think it's OK to try to rain on your parade, or bring down your good mood. If she would truly feel better getting out of the MOH position or being in the wedding at all, that's fine. But I wouldn't suggest it to her... if being in the wedding is something she wants to do (even if she's having a hard time right now.) I don't think it's a good idea to make her feel worse than she already feels. Not to mention, you probably don't want to start a fight with your own sister. I think if she does want to be MOH, leave her there, and try to enlist the help of the BMs who want to rally around you.
Good luck.
Perception is reality! Perhaps there's something she is upset about (i.e. you're stealing her thunder) that may seem completely rediculous to you, but valid to her. Also, she may not even know that you are hurt by this. I agree with Kate. You should talk to you about the way you are feeling. your wedding is just one (very wonderful) day, but your sister is your sister forever :)
Good luck!
Her boyfriend dose not want to propose just yet. Long story. But because shes waiting shes exspecting some 5 ct ring. LOL so i can see why shes not. Even if she got engaged she dose not want to get married till shes done with school . Thats another couple years.
I dont ever talk about my wedding to her unless she brings it up. Then if i say hey lets go do something shes gets all mad. I understand it does suck for her but i wish she could be happy for me or at least fake it. Shes always been like this with everything in my life. Yes shes the oldest and she always got everything so maybe shes mad that i got the wedding first.But eaither way she still would be waiting a few more years. She wont even get with my bridesmaids whenever we do fun lil get togethers.
I just hope when it gets closer she gets more excited and wants to get with my bridesmaids and plan things . If it was swapped i would be so excited for her. O well
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sisters are sisters - and that's that. my sister and i didn't get along for so many years, and now we are closer than ever. please keep your sis as your MOH. life is long (god willing) and you will be happy that your sister was your MOH. talk to her about the stuff you feel - she may surprise you.
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I'm sorry that you are in such a difficult position! But as other posters noted, it is quite hard for someone to be in a long term relationship without a ring and see their friends and relatives get married. You should not formally ask your sister to step down as MOH, since it will destroy your relationship. But you should try to rely upon your bridesmaids more instead. Ask them to attend events with you instead of your sister. That way you can get the support you need without creating disruption in your family. But keep in mind that it can be very hard to rally up support for a wedding that is so far away.
I just looked at your date... there's a strong possibility that it's a mix of 2 things. 1. I'm really not one to throw the jealousy card often, and I think it's massively overused, but I do think that your sister could be jealous. It must be really difficult to be in a long term relationship and see your own sister go from single to married before you even got a proposal. To ask her to step down would add massive insult to injury, and it would destroy your relationship with her. I know where you're coming from, my sister/MOH isn't too into the wedding right now either, and it kind of hurts, but then I stop and think about what's going on in her life: HS senior, AP/IB exams, college decisions, graduation, etc. She's busy too, and she'll get into it on her own time.
2. It probably also has to do with the length of your engagment and the proximity to the wedding. I got engaged 2 years ago, and we got immediate excitement about it, but then most people cooled off about it, since the wedding was so far away. Now that we're about 2.5 months out, people are starting to get excited again, because it's actually coming up on their radar now. Just give it some time.
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Well, I can totally related because I know exactly how you feel:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/leaning-towards-having-no-mohis-that-a-bad-idea
But, I haven't asked my friend to be my MOH yet, and she's just my friend, not my sister. Blood is thicker than water. That said, I think you should talk to your sister about what's bothering her first and why her actions are bothering you... For example, "I really wish you'd come dress shopping with me...I really value your opinion and it hurts my feelings when you keep not showing up." and see what she says.
I really hope y'all work it out!!
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Since it's your sister, can you straight out ask her what's up? I mean not just w.r.t. how it hurts you that she isn't being more involved, but honestly say it seems like maybe she's upset and you're worried. Well, assuming that's true. Does she seem upset in general, not just surrounding your wedding? B/c if the things you describe are part of a larger trend, e.g. she generally doesn't want to go out or get excited about things, it might be an indication that she's experiencing some pretty strong, negative feelings about her life. I think there's a tendency to look at everything through the lens of our own weddings b/c we have so much going on, but there may be a bigger picture here.
I'm so sorry you are going through this with your sister. I would take her to lunch or out to drinks and have a heart to heart with her. Keep in mind that "sibling rivalry" is what it is and there isn't much that can be done about it, also your wedding date is very far off, and though it seems like your whole world revolves around your wedding planning, remember that is only for you. For everyone else life is still the same, and the excitement won't set in until very close to the wedding date. I had similar issues with my MOH - who was very excited for me right away and when I asked her to be my MOH and then showed no interest or emotion about my wedding until the week before!
Good luck!
I am experiencing virtually the same thing. My older sister is married with three kids but didn't have a big wedding (just did the JP thing) b/c she was expecting at the time. I knew it upset her to not have a big wedding, but my parents wouldn't pay for it and they had to prioritize their coming child. Regardless, I sent her gifts, have gone to visit her, and was ready to fly out for the JP ceremony in case she wanted family there (she said no). I have tried to be as supportive as possible of her and her family.
I ended up getting engaged two years later, and my parents aren't helping us either. However, together we are planning a nice wedding for about 150 people- not the nicest event ever, but something we're happy with. It's ALL on our dime.
The day I got engaged I called her to be MOH, and he response was "ok, but I live far away and have 3 kids, so don't expect much". Ok, then. So I haven't. I have friends doing most of the work and asked her just to give a toast. I picked the cheapest dress possible to be aware of her funds. I am doing everything and anything I can think of to be aware of her feelings.
Somehow she is convinced my parents are helping us (they aren't) and is mad at me. She acts mean whenever I bring up the wedding, so I've stopped talking about it with her. Now it's so bad she barely talks to me at all- we sent the invites out and I heard from family that THAT has upset her. I feel like she hates the whole wedding is going to somehow cause a scene because she's mad we were able to afford something she could not.
I tried to talk to her and she basically said she wont feel as important b/c people are coming to my wedding when they didn't for her (um, she didn't have one). She had a vow renewal a year or so after her wedding, and everyone came but they didn't bring gifts. She is mad I am getting gifts and she did not (we all brought food and decorations for her, at her request, instead). I am so worried she will do something to upend the wedding, I almost want to tell her not to come.
Well i talked to my sister and shes getting a bit better. I dont know when she will want to look at dresses but i did find one i love and she was excited to see it. So who knows.
I understand what your going through Soon2BeMrsWheeler....my sister got married and divorced @ 24-25 yrs old and they were only married for a short time. And she has been with different no good boyfriends off and on since then...and when we first starting dating she wasnt very nice and was always saying stuff about him and I think it was just jealousy...and when we finally tried to get together with her she said oh I wasnt the one who was mad you were! No, "Im sorry" or anything! So now I just put up with her from time to time like at Christmas because I know she will be there at my parents house and I know my mom will want to invite her to the shower. Shes invited to the wedding but isnt in our wedding! Enough said!
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So,
My sister has been with her bf for almost 6 years.They started dating a lil befor my FI and I. Anywho he hasen't proposed to her yet. My FI proposed to me 2 years ago and were getting married next May. So shes a bit jealous. I made her my MOH because i couldn't choose my friends. But everytime i bring up wedding stuff shes like i dont want to go look for dresses or just dosen't care. Everyone says when it gets closer to the wedding date she will come around. I think its selfish of her. She should be happy for me and want to be apart of this special day for me. I would be so happy and excited for her if it was swapped. It just makes me sad.
Makes me think i should de thrown her from my MOH to just a bridesmaid. Ill my bridesmaids have done more stuff with me like bridal shows and dress shopping and shes done nothing. Just annoyed.