(Closed) My sister isnt coming and im hurt

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. It sucks that your sister and her husband don’t know what the right thing to do is. I don’t know if there is much you can do to change that though, I know it’s hurtful but focus on you and your soon-to-husband and the wonderful life you’ll have. Don’t let them and their rudeness take away from your day. If they want to be selfish and rude, that is their loss and hopefully one day they will realize it. 

Post # 5
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry, selfish and inconsiderate people suck.  There’s nothing you can really say to her that will change her mind.  All I can suggest is telling her something like ‘I’m sorry you can’t make it, I’ll tell the family that you send your love’.  Don’t let them ruin your day.  Also, make sure you tell your photographer that these are long distance family members and get some nice shots of the extended family that you don’t see often.

Post # 6
Member
7302 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would think a year and a half would be enough time to save for your sister’s wedding.  That is not just a casual aquaintance.  I would be hurt too.

Post # 7
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@AFraser90:  People make time for the things that are important to them. I’m sorry but its a sad truth. I’m having a destination cruise wedding in about 15 months and I already have people saying they can’t make it too. Including my fiance’s parents who haven’t booked yet and are claiming its too much of a financial burden-but have no issues spending money elsewhere. I know it’s especially hurtful because its your family-your sister. But try to keep focus on the fact that a wedding is just a day; but, a marriage is a lifetime. In the end, as long as she was present in you and your future spouse’s lives more in the marriage than the wedding day, you’re doing fine. IMHO. 

Post # 8
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AFraser90:  Sorry but it’s their money to spend as they want. Why should they cut back on spending for a year and a half, to go on a vacation they don’t want to go on? Especially if it means cancelling or postponing a vacation they do want to go on?

I have some sympathy because you spent a lot on her wedding. But was it over $1000? If it wasn’t, you can’t really complain. If it was, I would remind her that you spent a lot of her wedding so you would really be disappointed if she can’t attend yours.

Bottom line is you’ve got to expect some people not to show when it’s a destination wedding. Enjoy the people who come.

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@AFraser90:  I am so very sorry! 

 

My sisterS did not come to my wedding either; neither did my mom!  Which drasitcally changes an intimate family wedding if 50% of the people are coming.  We had to re-vamp our plans completely as they told us up front they could not come out (my mom said I was asking too much of them).  I even included the cost of all their room, board, transportation to kind of sweeten the deal. 

One sister is even an nurse anesthetist – so she’s loaded and had 4 day work week.  I flew in for her wedding a few years early, and was a BM.  I also had flow in to host a very expensive downtown Chicago baby shower (it HAD to be in Chicago she said).  They just needed a 3 day weekend and a flight.  Very disappointing to say the least.  I felt very unloved and unimportant to them.

 

Sometimes the people that you love just have different priorities than you.  I’m working on still loving them regardless and accepting them as they are. 

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