My sister needs your dating advice!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

All three are unacceptable.

Post # 3
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

What an ass!!!  Dump him. He is screwing other people and he is using her big time for when it’s convenient for him. She needs to have more confidence in herself and not put up with his bull crap. He is emotionally and mentally abusing her and it will only get worse it time the more she allows it.

Dump his sorry lame, non respectful ass and let him be someone else’s problem. 

Post # 4
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

Totally unacceptable. He’s being all kinds of shady.

She should dump him, induldge in a little Ben and Jerry’s, then hit the town with girlfriends (possibly on different nights. Ice cream and liquor don’t mix).

Post # 5
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

Totally unacceptable and you need to show your sister this thread because he’s an asshole.  Relationships are give and take and he’s totally using your sister as a ‘go-to’ when he’s feeling lonely or has no one elsel lined up to hang out with, dump his ass!

Been there, done that before!

Post # 6
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

adnama:  He doesn’t sound like a total jerk to me, he just sounds like a young immature guy who isn’t ready to be in a serious relationship. How old is he? I’m guessing he’s 17-22? Honestly this sounds like the kind of thing I would pull with my early boyfriends. I was like 18 and in a way too serious relationship. I consistently did stuff like this because in reality I just wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. Of course the relationship ended, and I was single for a few years before meeting my FI. At that point I was ready for a real relationship, I’d gotten the crazy partying and sleeping around out of my system. So I definitely acted like a jerk to some early boyfriends, at the time I didn’t know why I was doing it, but now I can see it.

I think she should move on- it sounds like he’s still in the phase where he wants to be free to explore all of his options. Even if he isn’t trying to, it will just end up with her being hurt. She’s probably wasting her time if she wants something serious. 

Post # 7
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yep, dump him and move on. I don’t like that he mocked her about how he essentially took a girl on some dates while your sister was out of town. I also don’t like that he seems to be treating her like she’s not worth anything to him. It doesn’t seem like he’s a boyfriend at all, or at least doesn’t think he is. 

Post # 8
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Situation 1:  Your sister should explain to her BF that his reaction is insensitive.

Situation 2:  Your sister should explain that she was disappointed that he didn’t join your family event. 

Situation 3:  Your sister should explain that she was hurt that he didn’t consider her in his Halloween plans.

In general, this young man is not ready for a serious, committed relationship and your sister should view the relationship in the same way that he does.  She should feel free to go out with other male friends as well.

Post # 9
Member
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

adnama:  I feel like there is information missing from situation 2 – such as, how often does she invite him to your family’s house?  Does he always reject the invitation?  I had a long-distance boyfriend who I really wanted to meet my family, but he refused – he said, “if they want to meet me, they’ll fly out to see me.”  So I can understand that if he always dodges your family that it would be very unacceptable.

However, situations 1 and 3 are defintely unacceptable.

Post # 10
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

All are unacceptable. It sounds like he may just have her as back up attention…

Post # 12
Member
6626 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

The thing about mocking her feelings really rubs me wrong. That is not just clueless- it’s mean. 

Post # 13
Member
1783 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

adnama:  sounds like he’s young, immature, and not committed. Your sister is probably equally young and doesn’t need to waste her time with him. Tell her to dump him and go have fun with her friends until a better guy comes along.

Post # 14
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

adnama:  Asshole. Dump him. He obviously doesn’t respect her, or your family.

She’ll only end up unhappy and misterable if she continues to stay with him. My guess is when(if) she decides to leave him, he’ll beg her not to. Make sure she doesn’t fall for it.

Post # 15
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee

How old is your sister OP? When I was like 18/19/20 and dated guys my age, I put up with stupid stuff like this. Then I dated a few other guys and I matured more and realized that was shitty behaviour on their part. All of those are shady. But I am most concerned about #1 and #3,  the fact that your sister is exclusive with this guy and he took another chick to the drive in and out to fireworks and is tagging along with a girl to a party without asking your sister what she is up to for Halloween. Guys only do the fireworks/drive in kind of stuff with girls they like in my experience. 

I hope you show your sister this thread. He’s an asshole and doesn’t respect her as much as he should. 

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