Post # 1
…and then refused to propose with one when I said that I wiould keep it as my engagement ring.
I’m extremely sentimental and I don’t think I could ever upgrade.
The full story: Apparently he’d been planning to have a duplicate 2.5 center ring made of CZ or moissanite. He wanted to propose with this and then replace it with the exact thing in diamond later. He asked me how I felt, and I told him that I would just keep the ring that he proposed to me with. So now the only reason that he won’t propose is because he wants to be able to pay cash in full for some CRAZY expensive HUGE ring, when I would take the first one, a smaller ring, or a freaking ring pop for that matter!
I’m fine “waiting”, going to the courthouse, eloping to Timbuktu, or anything for that matter. I’m not in a rush, I’m happy. I just don’t understand why he feels so much pressure. It makes me sad. What do I do? I feel like he’s trying to hold himself to some crazy standard.
Post # 3
Because society has brainwashed him that he’s got to put the Hope Diamond on your finger!
If you’re happy to wait, then wait. The size/cost of the ring is a matter of pride to some men, and it’s not worth wounding his pride over this. You could always try to make a bigger fuss over the tiny things he does for you daily, or the small thoughtful things he buys (I’m talking small like ice cream) to reinforce that you’re happy with inexpensive but meaningful gestures. But if he’s got an idea in his head over what the ring should be, do your best to let him have his dream.
Post # 4
I don’t think he’s brainwashed–it is important to him that he buys you a diamond ring. It’s really a gift so the giver is the one who ultimately decides on what the ring will be. If it’s so important to him, why wouldn’t you let him switch out the center stone for a diamond later? It would still be the same ring, and the other stone could be made into a pendant. My guess is if you can agree to that, you’re never really going to switch it out anyway because he’ll see that the ring is gorgeous and you’re happy with it.
Post # 5
@fishbone: I definitely don’t want to injure his pride, but the thought of giving up what he proposed to me with kind of hurts. 🙁
Post # 6
I would say yes he could replace it, on our 10th wedding anniversary. 🙂
I think no matter what the ring, its something he is doing for you to show his love. The price or stone doesn’t matter (especially when you put on a wedding band a little while later.)
Post # 7
@sylvia.riggle: This is true. I just wonder if he’ll be adamant about changing it out later, I definitely wouldn’t want to upset him so I would just give it up, but I would feel sad.
@jmmacdon: Thats what I’ve been considering, that perhaps Im placing too much sentimental value on the engagement ring vs the wedding band.