Post # 1
Sorry to rant guys but I am going nuts! I have posted a bit about expecting a proposal by new year, and I have been really good keeping quiet about it all. But my fella wont stop talking about weddings! We both want to elope, so yesterday I got tons of messages about ideas him and his coworker has for an elopement. I don’t mind if he plans it, but we aren’t engaged yet! So I told him hes missed the middle bit out. His coworker keeps texting him asking if hes popped the question yet, and my SO reads them out to me!
its great that hes talking to his mates about it, and tells me hes taking it seriously, but come on! Its nearly every day now!
its driving me crazy. I don’t know if he has a ring or anything. How do I respond to all this wedding talk? Is he fishing? What would you say to him?
thanks bees, you really are a lifeline lol.
Post # 2
My FI drove me nuts with talking about wedding stuff before we were engaged. A lot of times I would just listen but not encourage the conversation. At one point he said something jokingly about wifely duties and i looked at my finger and was like nope no ring right in front of him. i really don’t think they get how much thats like teasing! I don’t have any advice for how to handle it. I didn’t handle it well :p hopefully its in the works soon!!
Post # 3
Thanks for replying! I think you may be right, they don’t understand the whole waiting game! Haha I might try that, I could just hold my bare hand up to him!
Post # 4
Mine did similar, planning wedding stuff and talking about it all the time, telling his coworkers and family. I may not have handled it the best way at first, getting defensive and snappy at his wedding talk. I eventually sat him down and said if you want to do any of this you have to ask. It actually came out he was really overwhelmed by the pressure of THE PROPOSAL, it’s a huge romantic gesture that they have to keep secret from you and plan by themselves and he was freaking out it wouldn’t be good enough and its something your supposed to remember for the rest of your life. We both addressed some fears and stopped talking about it. Eventually it happened. A serious talk about it may help. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 5
ITA. A serious talk is in order. He has to understand that there’s no putting the toothpaste back in the tube now. He sounds like he’s having some anxiety issues that can be worked through.
Post # 6
Rabbit56: i never thought of it like that! Thank you! I guess i can see how that would be scary for him! Did he propose to you soon after your chat?
sassy411: yes he obviously wants to but something is holding him back! Think he wants the wedding without the proposal lol.
Post # 7
Men experience engagement different than women, at least in the US. If a guy is talking about wedding related thongs before being engaged, it’s sweet, romantic and loving. If a woman does it, she’s desperate, crazy, delusional or sad. A lot of men don’t realize this. I had to tell my SO.
I also think anxiety gets to the planning oriented guys. Impulsive, impatient or more extroverted guys propose right away because they’re excited and the ring burns a hole in his pocket. More methodical type men hold on to rings longer I noticed, because they’re worried about not getting it perfect either for their SO or family or friends or whatever.
I’d just suggest talking to him about it.
Post # 8
wanttobee: He did! He didn’t do it in a big way, just at home with the 2 of us. He is super excited for the planning side of our wedding though, which is good because we are going overseas and there is a lot to do 🙂
Post # 9
southsun: That is so true! My SO uses to pretend to freak out if anyone mentioned weddings! Now hes at it!
Rabbit56: aw thats lovely. Sounds perfect.
to be honest my SO already knows I don’t like being the centre of attention so hopefully will just be us two! Thanks for the advice. Although I do feel i should try and hold out a little bit. He said it will be before the end of the year and I don’t want to ruin any plans he might have.
Post # 10
<br />My SO has brought up marriage relentlessly over the past year. He took me to pick out a ring last December. We even had a talk about our expectations of when we’d like to be married by.
It’s all cute and fun when he brings it up, but I brought it up recently and he freaked out, telling me I was pressuring him. (I RARELY bring up marriage. I used to feed into it when he brought it up, but I won’t be doing that anymore!)