My SO wont stop talking about our wedding! help!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2059 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My FI drove me nuts with talking about wedding stuff before we were engaged. A lot of times I would just listen but not encourage the conversation. At one point he said something jokingly about wifely duties and i looked at my finger and was like nope no ring right in front of him. i really don’t think they get how much thats like teasing! I don’t have any advice for how to handle it. I didn’t handle it well :p hopefully its in the works soon!! 

Post # 4
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Mine did similar, planning wedding stuff and talking about it all the time, telling his coworkers and family. I may not have handled it the best way at first, getting defensive and snappy at his wedding talk. I eventually sat him down and said if you want to do any of this you have to ask. It actually came out he was really overwhelmed by the pressure of THE PROPOSAL, it’s a huge romantic gesture that they have to keep secret from you and plan by themselves and he was freaking out it wouldn’t be good enough and its something your supposed to remember for the rest of your life. We both addressed some fears and stopped talking about it. Eventually it happened. A serious talk about it may help. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
4833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Rabbit56:  

ITA.  A serious talk is in order.  He has to understand that there’s no putting the toothpaste back in the tube now.  He sounds like he’s having some anxiety issues that can be worked through.

Post # 7
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

Men experience engagement different than women, at least in the US. If a guy is talking about wedding related thongs before being engaged, it’s sweet, romantic and loving. If a woman does it, she’s desperate, crazy, delusional or sad. A lot of men don’t realize this. I had to tell my SO.

I also think anxiety gets to the planning oriented guys. Impulsive, impatient or more extroverted guys propose right away because they’re excited and the ring burns a hole in his pocket. More methodical type men hold on to rings longer I noticed, because they’re worried about not getting it perfect either for their SO or family or friends or whatever. 

I’d just suggest talking to him about it. 

Post # 8
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

wanttobee:  He did! He didn’t do it in a big way, just at home with the 2 of us. He is super excited for the planning side of our wedding though, which is good because we are going overseas and there is a lot to do 🙂

Post # 10
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

southsun:  This. 

<br />My SO has brought up marriage relentlessly over the past year. He took me to pick out a ring last December. We even had a talk about our expectations of when we’d like to be married by.

It’s all cute and fun when he brings it up, but I brought it up recently and he freaked out, telling me I was pressuring him. (I RARELY bring up marriage. I used to feed into it when he brought it up, but I won’t be doing that anymore!) 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  sweetb27.
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