Post # 1
Hi all. I am in a relationship with a parntner for 2 years. in the first steps things were great and to be honest when we are on our own things are excellent. in the first 3 months I was laying in bed and I asked her if there was 1 thing she would change about me what would it be and she said you wouldn’t have your son. That got to me in A big way but I thought things will be ok. It will get benter. She will accept my son in time. the thing is she has no interest in my son at all. We went to the zoo together and we had a good day. As good as can be anyway when we got home my son of 5 was being a child and do what kids do and want to sit next to me watching TV as I only see my son every other weekend she walked upstairs and later down. I went up and asked Her what’s wrong and she said my son is really bratty and she can’t stand him. She is from a very privileged up bringing unlike myself . thongs have got worse and I rarely see my son at all as she has rented my sons bedroom out as financial difficulties have set in. And she don’t think its right my son being downstairs. This is killing me as I miss my son very much and love him dearly. I know all you people will be thinking what the hell you still doing with her but I’m here asking for your help and advice. I really want her to bond with my son but how can I get this igo she hasn’t in the last 2 years.
Post # 2
Dscrivs2: Dump her ass. You deserve someone who’ll love you AND your son. You’re a package deal.
Post # 3
Dscrivs2: What playdohpants: said. It’s not fair to your son, either. Not.at.all.
Post # 4
I’m sorry, I would end the relationship.
Post # 5
Yes, I am in fact wondering why you are still with her. She told you very early on that she considers your son to be baggage and she wishes you didn’t have a soon. IMO, the relationship should have been over then. Please do your soon a favor and break up with her.
Post # 6
Dscrivs2: I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said here. Your son is #1, plain and simple, and always should be. I understand it’s easier said than done but please end your relationship.
Post # 7
Your FLESH and BLOOD child should ALWAYS come first. If this woman has issues with your son, I guarentee your son picks up on it. And wtf were you thinking letting this woman rent out your child’s room? I don’t care how much of a financial pickle you are in, your son needs a place to call his own in your home to feel included. I don’t think you are going to get much help on this. All I can tell you is if this woman wanted to include your son and make him feel wanted, after 2 years she would of done it. You are allowing her behavior to dictate your relationship with your child. If she truly cared for you, she would have made an effort to include your son in her life. Dump her.
Post # 8
Please never leave her alone with your son not to even watch him for five mins. A full grown woman jealous of a child. What a shame!
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF
I’m really sorry to say this but she is highly unlikely to ever bond with your son.
Because she doesn’t want to. In fact, for two years, she has repeatedly shown you how much she does not want to. She’s limiting your access to visitation with your son by renting out the room he would sleep in and barring him from the alternative area in your house, which, for the record, is grossly unfair (I’m assuming you live together and, therefore, share rent/mortgage payments). As much as you may love your partner, please think about your son’s feelings. He already has infrequent visits to see you and during those times, he’s surrounded by negative energy and someone who “can’t stand him”. Kids aren’t stupid; he likely knows that your partner doesn’t like him and I’m sure it hurts him deeply.
The other thing to keep in mind is that even if your son isn’t fully aware of your partner’s feelings towards him now, in a few years he likely will be and you run the risk of him being resentful towards both your partner and you – you, for seemingly not putting him first.
I think you need to tell your partner that you and your son are a package deal and if she can’t accept him then she needs to re-evaluate your life with you because, guess what? She can’t change the fact your child was born.
Post # 10
Speaking as the step parent of the relationship, if she truly wanted to have any part in your son’s life she would have made an effort by now.
My fiance has an almost 3 year old. We got together a little bit before he turned 2. Boy, I can tell you it was the hardest thing accepting a child into my life, let alone another woman’s child. But I knew that I couldn’t have one without the other. I’ve had many sleepless nights and been at the end of my rope, but I love my FI with everything I have so I really do try my best. I still get annoyed at times (they don’t call them the terrible two’s for nothing) but we’ve gotten to a point now where he asks for me when I’m not with my FI.
It can be hard for someone to become an instant parent to a child but if you matter that much, then your partner will do everything they can to have the both of you in her life. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t sound like she’s willing to make an effort.
Post # 11
Dscrivs2: wow….. As a mother I could never be with someone who thought this way about my child. Leave.
Post # 12
Leave her. She’s awful. You AND your son don’t deserve this. Remember, whoever you date is not just with you… they’re with you and your child.
Post # 13
Leave her. Your son is more important.
Post # 14
Your son needs to be your absolute number one priority in life. No ifs, ands or buts. Your son is infinitely more important than her and I would have no hesitations to leave someome who even I suspected disliked my son. She has some brass balls to tell you that she’d change your son. I would’ve gotten up, opened the door and asked her to get her shit, and get out. Leave her. Your son deserves better, and you deserve a woman who will adore him for the wonderful kid he is.
Post # 15
This isn’t really a choice that a decent parent (which I’m sure you are) would need to make. You obviously need to leave her. Without delay.