My step-father isn't coming to the wedding (sad, long)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is based just on what you posted, so I might be off-base here…

It sounds like, from your OP, you focused a lot on having him do something for the wedding: is it possible he feels like you just want him there to “work” (and potentially save you money), as opposed to wanting him there as an important guest? 

Maybe you should call him and tell him how you feel….

Post # 4
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@sara_tiara:  This.  It sounds like he was given “jobs” rather than being invited as a guest.  I may be a little put off, too.  Not to mention, I have anxiety, and I hate making small talk withstrangers.  Maybe he feels similarly?

Post # 5
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@clairebbbear:  Other than him feeling socially awkward I wonder if he feels like you just want him to work and doesnt feel like an important guest?….I am a Step Mum and have recently been very hurt by my FI daughter…I have felt used for helping a lot with the wedding but not felt like a part of the family as I was excluded from certain things with no regard to my feelings…It sounds like he is very uncomfortable though with social situations…I would write him a heart felt letter about how much he means to you and how you look up to him and see him as your 2nd dad type thing…ask him to come for your sake and that you understand if he doesnt want to stay too long…good luck:)

Post # 6
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Maybe he just gets tired of being the hired help and would like to actually be a guest. I don’t blame him a bit.

You don’t ask family to work your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you need to call and talk to -him-, not communicate through your mom.

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