My Story, Support area?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Going through that story, there were so many, many points where you should have walked away. For starters, the first dates that he showed up over an hour late to. I’m glad you are finally finished with him, but I hope you take the time for some introspection. You need to own your role in this, or you will fall into this pattern with another man. You need to love yourself more than that. Please consider counseling and keep your eyes wide open in your new relationship.

Post # 3
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

I’ll admit, I got about half way through that. There were so many times when you should have walked away. There were so many times you spent crying/sobbing/or holding it back. That relationship seemed like it has caused you a LOT of deep internal suffering, and I’m not quite sure why you stuck through it. I know you weren’t looking for advice, but I hope with time you can move on from this. Seek counselling to help heal and understand this whole situation. Also, I really hope that you can gain your self esteem back. No one should ever speak to you that way! Not about your weight, not slap food out of your hands at a party, not talk about other women in front of you like that, no say he’s slept with better… like wow, you put up with SO MUCH. Why?????

Post # 6
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

I really hope you are emotionally doing ok- it baffles me as to why you stayed but I guess thats what emotional abuse does, it makes you feel stuck and at the time you think you are in love but you arent. What really concerns me though I have to say, is that you DID NOT LEAVE UNTIL A NEW MAN CAME INTO THE PICTURE AND WHISKED YOU AWAY! I am worried that you never would’ve left if this new man had not come into the picture. If you ever find yourself in a position like this again, you need to leave ASAP and not wait until you have a new man. I’m so sorry for all you went through- noone deserves to be treated like that. 

Post # 7
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You hung on way too long for way too little. Be smarter next time.

 

Post # 10
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

Yorkshirerose1991:  I think it’s admirable that you’re sharing your story. It’s easy for people to hear a story like that and think “wow, what a moron. Why the hell would that dummy stay with a guy who treated her like crap for so long?!” But until you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you don’t get it. Perfectly intelligent and educated women can get wrapped up in emotionally abusive relationships and it isn’t because they’re not smart that they stay with these men. 

Victims get wrapped up in being in love, feeling guilty over “what can I do to make him happy? What am I doing wrong? What else can I change?” And then of course there’s also the fact that so many of the abusers completely isolate you from friends and family so when you feel like you want to get out, you don’t have anywhere to go. 

I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I have a similar story and people on the outside of it can give you all the logic in the world, but logic doesn’t apply in emotionally abusive relationships. So glad you got out of this awful relationship!

Post # 12
Member
941 posts
Busy bee

What a sad story

Post # 13
Member
941 posts
Busy bee

What a sad story

Post # 14
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

Wow. This was so heartbreaking to read! With every scenario you described…being toyed with, emotionally and verbally abused…my heart just broke a little more. What a happy ending, though! I am so glad you found someone who loves and respects you – it’s something you absolutely deserve!

Your story also struck a chord with me because my sister is going through a similar thing. Of course, I don’t know ALL of the actual details, nut she is with an extremely controlling boy who restricts who she can communicate (even opens her mail!) and puts her down for the smallest things. It’s been going on for a couple of years now, but my family has to treat the situation delicately…they don’t want her to feel “pushed away” or “judged” and go running right back into his arms. Maybe I should show her your story so she can see how much happier she would be if she got out of it. 

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