Post # 1
Hi everyone. I just started posting recently and wanted to take a minute to share my personal story with those who are frustrated or struggling with partners that wont commit.
I was dating a man for nearly 7 years. We were highschool sweethearts, our families were very close, and we shared the same friends. We moved in together for about a year. After a few romantic trips, birthdays, and anniversarys came and went without a proposal, i became very impatient. We talked a little about it, and he said he always imagined himself marrying me, he just didn’t know when.
After almost a year of continuing to wait, I slowly realized that there was a reason for things progressing slowly: We werent right for each other. We were at the point in our lives where we had been together for so long we were both scared to start over, fearing “dying alone”.
It really is NEVER too late to start over. I moved out and spent some time on myself. I then met a man who exceeds everything I ever expected out of a partner, and i now realize what “forever” feels like. Neither of us have any doubts, and there isn’t a better feeling knowing that you made the right choice, as hard as it was at the time.
I look back on those “waiting” months and romantic trips and am SO happy that I didnt get my proposal that I was waiting for then. I would be married to a man by now that wasnt right for me.
Now my heart has no doubt that I’ve found the love of my life.
No matter your age or situation, DONT STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED TO START OVER. I survived, and it was the BEST decision I’ve ever made.
Post # 3
I couldn’t agree more!!! That’s so awesome that you’ve found the one you’re meant to be with!
Post # 4
@cristieg: thank you! It’s a great feeling, especially after knowing when you ARENT meant to be with someone!
Post # 5
FI was with someone post divorce that he didn’t love for a few years – they would break up, get back together – because it was comfortable, not because she was who he saw spending his life with.
He finally ended it, dated around, then we got requainted and he and I were engaged within a year and a half… When you know, you know. 🙂
Post # 6
@shellybee13: Congratulations!! Thank you for posting this! I’m in that boat now.
Post # 7
@shellybee13: +1! I’ve been there, and done that, and I totally agree!
Post # 8
Could not agree more!
My situation was similar we were together 4 years not 7, but it was over long before it was over, IT became easier to be together rather than face what we really needed to do…break up!
Now I am about to marry the true love of my life.
Post # 9
Great story!! Move on if the alarms are screaming at you!
Post # 10
@shellybee13: Agreed!! I was with a guy for 3 years. A lot of it long distance and I cared for him very deeply. He was deployed to Afghanistan and stationed in Alaska before getting a lucky station near me. I worried for months about whether the newest story of dead soldiers was him. I could hear my phone vibrate in a dead sleep (never missed a single call). I sent him care packages and always let him know he could tell me anything and I would never judge him or feel differently about what he might have had to do over there.
We had fun, but never discussed anything deep. It was a very superficial relationship. I was only 22 when I dumped him but I was scared even then to start over. I regret giving him so much of my time but I’m glad I could be supportive during his active duty. I told him finally “I need to know what your plans are for your army contract ending. I know you ‘don’t know’ but I need you to think about it. I’ll give you a week and ask again.” A week later, he still said “I don’t know.” So I said “Well. I need to be done then.” And that was it.
We are on ok terms now (he didn’t show any emotion after I left him. Like at all. Until months later when I was in a new, healthy, functional relationship.)
If I hadn’t said the hardest goodbye of my life, I never would have said the greatest hello.
I met my SO the weekend after I dumped the ex. We were officially dating a couple months later. Now I’m in ready-when-you-are mode to start our lives together 3 years later.