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Can you tell her something happened like you spilled water all over them or something? Can you just lie and say the post office lost it?
I'm sorry :(. I hope you can get STDs you like.
Save the dates can be pretty casual. Some people don't send them at all. I would just suck it up and send them out. She went through all that trouble. However I would tell her no thank you to the invites and find something else.
Yes pics please?
Sometimes its hard being a Bride, so many people offer to help you and yet your always going to be super fussy cause you want everything to be perfect. I'm a super fussy Bride and I certainly wouldn't send them out if I wasn't happy with them or would feel embrassed to post them. What a disapointing and awkward situation for you to be in.
Have you shown any friends or family members for their option, they may be able to help, they could be ok in their eyes? Can you tidy them up yourself at all before you post them? If they are square or rectangle could you change to shape of the invite so the unevenness isn't as noticeable?
Be prepared to suck it up, post them out and still use her for the invites, depending on if she would be offended. Is there any way you could offer to help her to create your invites, just say you know its alot of work and you would like to help, that way you can overseel her work a little bit, but dont take over! I also might be best to be honest with her and say thanks but no thanks. I would seek advice from your FI and parents before saying anything.
Best of luck.
I would buy new ones and get a proffesional to make your invites. Wonky is not ok for wedding invites.
Don't risk your invites being any less than whatever makes you happy. If you're worried about sending out your current STDs ... then don't. She did go through a lot of hard work to make them, maybe send them to the people on your list that she knows? Those don't know her get something a little more your taste. You can always say some got ruined, and the ones you were able to save you wanted "family" to be able to enjoy.
Honestly, I'd be so hurt if you didn't send them out and I had made them. I'd be really upset if they got 'ruined' somehow too.
I get that weddings are all about what the bride wants and it being a perfect 'vision', but what is the day really all about? I just can't imagine hurting a family member like that.
My gut says let her do the lot. I know they'll look a bit rubbish but she would be very offended if we didn't use them. Seeing as it's his side of the family, I don't think i'd come off very well. I guess i'm just disappointed. I don't have a picture at work but i'll post one later.
She did let us tell her what we wanted originally but, she kept trying to impose her own ideas on us and said what we wanted would like "insert curse word here". That's why i'm worried about the invites because there's so much more to them and i'm worried we're going to get very old fashioned, frilly invitations!
I've uploaded my scd...excuse the scribbling...i've taken the details out. What do you think??? To me the biggest issue is that the lines aren't cut evenly on any of them :/ Am i overreacting?
@ticatica: I see what you mean. They are nice... just kind of generic.
Good luck... such a tough situation.
Ouch... I don't know what to say, the wonkiness would bug my happiness :/
Yeah. I wouldn't want to send them out, either. I'm not sure what your best option is. I would definitely make other plans at this point for the invites.
I think I could handle the imperfections if they had more originality or personality.
Ugh....it's such a crappy situation. They look so unprofessional (I feel mean saying that but it's true!) She thinks she's doing the invites and I know she'll be insulted if we change our minds now. I really don't want to send out more frilly, wonkyness though when you can get professional looking invites on the net!
Based on the fact that you'd be more willing to accept the imperfect STDs if they were more you, I'd say go ahead and send them. Thank her profusely and then when it comes closer to the time of dealing with invitations you can always claim to have found a great deal on something already made that was just like what you envisioned.
PP are right that your entire wedding won't be judged on a STD, a step that many people don't even do. Use your invitation to make it more "you" and just thank her for her work on these so that she doesn't feel unappreciated.
yes, they are a bit uneven. is there any way you can fix some of these problems? recut the ones that are uneven and then put them back together? if there's glue showing, can you stick a small silk flower on them to cover it? they don't all have to be identical. i know it's a lot of work but it may keep the peace and you won't feel any guilt by not using them.
I would send those to some(mostly his family) and I'd also get some others done to send out to everyone else.
If poss could you fix a few of the problems... send them to people she would know and have others... Its a rought situation with it being family... or just say that u spilled coffee or something and get new ones..
FI just came home and asked what I thought of them. He doesn't like them either. I'd be too scared to try to re-cut them myself. I'm not good at this type of thing and the one time FI and I tried to do the SVD's ourselves we made a mess...that's when we took his Aunt's offer to do them for us.
I think I'm goin to send these to a few people (mostly his family) and just ignore SVD's for other people. Now it's more about how to say no to her making the invites....she said it's our wedding present :/ it's so kind of her cos it takes so much time however I do want the invites to look more professional. I love the idea of saying we got a great deal online but, what's a deal better a deal than getting them for free from her....so I'm not sure that would fly...
Thanks for responses guys I appreciate the input. Any other ideas totally welcome. x
I say send them... no one will really notice/judge as much as you do. Ultimately this is your family and they should be happy for you and excited no matter what they look like!
how many did she make? maybe you can just send them out to a select few. those whom you know wouldn't care if it looked unprofessional. if you really don't like the way they look and couldn't find the heart to send them, maybe get a crafty friend to help you tweak them a little.
then for the invites, just tell her, you found a great deal that you couldn't pass up.
can i just share, my cousin was almost in the same light as you. i was originally in charge of making her invites. she wanted her invites to look like this:
so to go with her vintage theme with an organic feel, we were going to print it out on recycled paper boards and use twine and a light blue wax seal to go with her colors. plus i did a lace print design on the right side to match her lace dress. we loved the invitation idea we had. it had so many hidden meanings and symbols that tied up the entire theme and represented them as a couple.
but my cousin's uncle volunteered to do the invites for free, as a gift to the couple. it definitely would help them cut down costs. plus this uncle of hers used to own a small printing business and he did some designing on the side too. so she trusted him and agreed. oh boy she was wrong!
his first order of business was to trash the initial draft i made (through email with me copied. how tactful right?) then he said he'll make it waay waay better.
long story short, the invites ended up looking something like this:
http://www.handbag-asia.com/images/products/619-Wine+red+silk+wedding+invitation+box.jpg
in fact this was the inspiration he used for his design. he just used dark blue velvet for the box covering instead of red. (keep in mind that my cousin's wedding theme is vintage with an organic feel. and her color is light blue)
worst part is he charged my cousin for the materials at cost. when my cousin clarified, he said he meant he'll do the design and printing for free. my cousin was mortified because the cost of the bedazzled buckle alone is more than the total cost of the original invitation design we had. add that to the cost of the expensive paper he picked out, the box, the velevt covering, and the 3 kinds of ribbons he used.
as a bonus, he added a small ad on the corner of the back part that says "designed and printed by uncle so and so printers" complete with number and email address. so tacky!
my cousin was mortified. but since she only had one more month to send out the invites, she just went with it. plus it wouldn't be practical to change the invites at that point considering all the effort the uncle has put into it. she is her uncle after all. i was pissed but i couldn't really let it out because everytime i see my cousin, my heart breaks for her. it's a tough situation. i just tell her that it's just a little stumble. everything else will be ok.
I'm so sorry! What an awkward situation. It does save you some money though, so maybe you could make it work. What if you attached a short little thank you to the STDs? Something like "a special thank you to aunt blah blah for taking time out of her busy schedule to put together these save the dates for us." She would appreciate the gesture and all of your other guests would be given a heads-up that you didn't really have a hand in the design.
I'll send them out...I can't not now without being a total b*tch. Plus after reading pixie24's story I don't feel so hard done by! It's just a case of finding as polite a way as possible to say no to the invites. I don't want really dodgy invites sent out. I'm just afriad she'll get bossy and they'll be really old fashioned. She thought our idea for the SVD's was too 'modern' anyway. TBH I'm wondering if she was sloppy on purpose because she said our idea for them was going to look shite...her words not mine! Ugh....so many things about my wedding I wish I could go back and redecide on if only it were possible.
Im Sorry :( but yeah i would send them out too. then tell her Thank You for the Save the Dates, but I have really been looking forward to FI and I creating our own Invitations and doing that part of the wedding planning!!!!!! or tell her you already found the perfect ones and it will be a surprise!
In regards to her making your actual invitations - I actually won my invitations through a contest on a blog. Perhaps you could "win" yours and save her the trouble from making them herself :)
I agree with sending them out, even if just to people she knows and those that need STDs (like out of town people).
I would come up with something to gently let her know she can't do the invites - I wouldn't let her. I think PPs have some good ideas, especially "winning" them from some sort of contest! Or maybe just getting a huge discount coupon (like 75%) from whatever place you use. She never has to know that isn't true and it'll save hurt feelings a bit better I think.
I would send them. But for me weddings aren't about perfection, and most people won't look at your save the date for long. Believe me, I have been to plenty of weddings and can't recall one save the date that i didn't immediately set aside after noting the date in my google calendar. For me it wouldnt be worth offending a family member and adding to my own costs of getting another one. These days handmade is stylish too (e.g. etsy)... just think of as the charming imperfections of costume made couture.
Brilliant. I'm gonna win my invites from vistaprint. Fantastic idea. If FI doesn't like that idea then i'll leave him in charge of explaining why she's no longer doing them. Ladies, thank you very much!!!
"just think of as the charming imperfections of costume made couture."
Couture - unfortunately not. Wonky - yes.
Honestly, I would send them! I hate to say "people will hardly notice," but it is true- chances are no one will be critiquing them.
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FI's aunt makes cards for fun so kindly offered as a wedding gift to do our SVD's and invites. We got them yesterday ....and I don't really want to send them out. They look really unprofessional....the card cutting is wonky, they're uneven, you can see the glue through the writing on the top.....they're not awful but they look like I did them myself.
I know I sound extremely ungrateful. After all, they were free. However I'm sad that this is the first thing to do with our wedding that people will see and I'm worried for the invites.
What to do?