Post # 1
Today is my day to completely loose it and whine about the waiting. I am enjoying this time with my BF, but I also feel like I have a lot that I am working towards and that it should be a united goal (and commitment) from both of us.
I just re-did all my benefits and savings stuff, and will be putting more money in savings for the down payment on a home (to purchase in 2011) and hopefully also saving for a wedding. This restructuring of my individual finances means that we will have to restructure as a unit, but also makes me feel like I want the 100% solid promise that we are moving forward in this stuff together.
I know that there is no way that the Boy can get a ring right now. He just started a new job after being laid-off a few months ago, and now there are whispers that he may be laid-off from there as well. We have had loads of unexpected expenses, and the holidays are coming up.
I don’t even need a ring, to be honest. I’d be happy with a proposal and his word that when taxes come, we’ll get a ring that we pick out together. (Ok, I admit it, part of that is my hidden agenda in wanting to make sure I get something I’ll love. Ha ha!)
I sent him another “joking” text that asked him to marry me. He just ignored it. I don’t think it helped that my friend at work is engaged to a guy that she’s been dating for only a couple of months.
I hate blitz season!
Post # 3
I am SO with you. Funny thing is that I send the same joking but not really joking text messages.
I am so over EVRYONE but me getting engaged. i feel like screaming “when will it be my turn!”
Post # 4
CurlyDreamer “BIG HUGS” to you! My BF was laid off at the beginning of this year got a new job in Feb./March and then got laid off again in August. Started working again with his old company by the following week of being laid off for the 2nd time. I said all that to say this…you never know how life will work I have felt the same way you felt becuase he was playing catch up with his expenses once he started working again so I was like great a ring is out of the question. Though I don’t have it yet I do know that he is paying on one. See your BF needs to realize that life will never present a “perfect time” to propose but he just has to take a chance and go with it!
I am really hoping things look up for you! I too would have been good without a ring! Its not that we don’t want the ring I think we value the commitment more.
Post # 5
I feel for ya, I really do! Hang in there and stay busy enjoying life!!!!!
Post # 6
Yeah, I feel you! Like everyone and their mom on WB got engaged on our anniversary……except me! lol
Ohh and to top it off…3 people (yes 3) asked me when me and S are getting married!!!! I was like…I dont know, ask him!!!
Post # 7
I am hanging in there, but it’s hard since I feel like not only am I trying to plan for our future but also I’m like basically already acting like his wife. Ugh… Normally it doesn’t bother me, but today I actually find it annoying.
Hopefully, we’ll all get what we want soon!
Post # 8
(((HUGS))) Curly! You’ll get there. I know it will happen for us all in due time!
Post # 9
Have you talked about marriage together with him, and are you on the same page/timeline? Is he ready to propose, but just not financially able, or is he not ready yet?
Post # 10
@jhphi: We talked about marriage before we moved in together, but not a specific timeline. We’ve had a lot of stress recently (job loss, moving, potential additional job loss, custody issues, etc.) so it hasn’t seemed appropriate to bring it up in the midst of it.
Post # 11
((HUGS)) M has been laid off quite a few times this year 🙁 he actually is just coming off of a lay off and of course we now need cars. although we are both fairly successful in our business endeavors I don’t see us spending that much on a ring especially when we could use it on advertising etc… NOW the other side of me screams bring on the bling baby!! LOL!!!
I definitely want and am ready for a proposal, but am okay because fo our financial situation. I do agree with carebear. there is no perfect time to propose, nor start a family etc… there’s always something else that can be done. does he know that the ring isn’t exactly important to you? i think it helped m a lot when i told him that i didn’t care about the ring, i cared about the promise. of course i promptly freaked out thinking i wouldn’t get ANY diamonds in my ring (i want a large center gemstone surrounding my diamonds) but in the end i (with my snooty self) was even fooled by white sapphires and topaz so i definitely will not ask anything about the origin of my ring when i get it and just be dazzled by the beauty.
Post # 12
@crebre80: Well, I really don’t want him to spend a lot on a ring now, period, even if he could. I’d much rather bank that for the downpayment on a house. So, the ring, for me is a non-issue. BUT… I have not been able to tell this to the Boy yet, although I tried (I posted about my unsuccessful attempt before).
Like you, I just want a gemstone ring with diamonds. I would be happy with an aquamarine halo or the pink sapphire deal I posted as my “dream ring.” Both are pretty reasonable, and lovely.
The more I’m thinking about this, the more it seems like the dreaded timeline/ring stuff will have to be discussed so he understands where I am in my head with all of this, and that I don’t expect him to break the bank. Or that I don’t mind being engaged before the ring, while he pays for it, and then announcing it publicly once that’s done. We’ll see…
Post # 13
You can let yourself get into a funk if you’re not careful. I know..all the crazy holiday jewelry commercials can really do a number on you can’t they? I hate the DeBeers’ commercials especially.
But it will happen in all good time. Not to worry ya’ll!
I’ve just become so amazingly accustomed to not worrying about this anymore. It’s my thought now that when you totally back off asking or even discussing it with them, that they will feel the pull to move towards you.
Call me silly or whatever, but it’s rather apparent that things are going in a different direction for us and I think us having our “talks” earlier on has made all the diffrerence in the world. He knows when we are going to marry. He knows what he must do in order for that to happen.
Sure I may be the hostess who’s waited the longest, but it is all worth it in the end. Granted, I would have loved it on my anniversary last year (Dec. 27th) and it would have made the perfect gift for Christmas, Valentines’ Day, my big number birthday, in Jamaica, or on the beach this summer in FL too. So many “almost perfect for getting a ring” days to count. But when it will happen, I know it will be special:)
Hugs to all of you. All good things in good time. Avoid jewelry commercials at all cost. That is my advice to you right now!
I swear..if I see another cheesy Kay’s commercial, I think I’ll hurl! (even that darn jingle sticks in your mind you know?)
Now let’s go have some fun! Get busy. Southpark is on btw. How can you be down if Southpark is on??? 🙂
Post # 14
@Bellenaga: Well said! I think, for me, I have to just get it and say how I feel, let him know I don’t want an expensive ring, and then I can go back to not stressing about it so much.
Post # 15
That was a great post, Bellenga! I love your advice even if it doesn’t apply to me. It sure would have six months ago… I pouted on the car ride back from dinner the night of my engagement because I thought it wouldn’t happen! I wish i’d done things a little differently, but he proposed to me even at my worst, so I guess it’s true love regardless.
And CurlyDreamer… I hope things go well with your talk! 🙂
Post # 16
Yea…even the stalker girl from college is engaged!!! WTH is up with these guys?!?!??!?!?!?!