Post # 1
My first love was very passionate but turns out to be a huge liar and loser. He lied about all sorts of things, and I only figured it out a year after we were “blissfully” dating. It was very much blind and immature infatuation and the man he really was, wasn’t something I would ever want.
My fiance is my best friend, the most amazing person – funny, smart, kind, generous, mature, honest…I couldn’t think of a better guy to marry!
Thing is, 3 days after we got engaged, my twin sister suddenly feels like I might be making a mistake. Because I had a few talks with her about learning how to trust love again, and work through “breaking down my walls ” (I did a little therapy) she feels like there is a hole in the relationship and if I had to do that much “working through” then I’m not 110% sure.
When I was going through that, she was nothing but supportive and encouraging, saying it was normal and I found a really great guy and she thought it was all great.
I’m really mad!!!! She’s literally blown up at me 3 times now and I haven’t heard from her all week. Why is she suddenly changing her mind about her opinion now that we’re engaged?! I’m having a hard time getting excited to plan my wedding without her support – she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and I really want her approval and support!
Post # 3
How quickly did you go from the ex to your Fiance and how long were you dating before he proposed?
Post # 4
i was about to ask the exact same question as the pp
Post # 5
She is your twin. I can only imagine from what I have heard and from what I have seen on TV because I am not a twin, but you two must be extremely close. She is probably afraid of losing the closeness you two share. If you haven’t already, I would include her in some things that you and your Fiance are doing; hiking, going out to dinner, the park, etc. Let her get to know your Fiance, and I am sure she will come around.
Post # 6
Why do you want her approval? Her support I would understand, approval, not really. Approval is nice to get from friends and family but sometimes it’s not worth the hassle. Good luck though.
Post # 7
I agree with noritake and brooklyn…but I also find that many Twins compete for attention, and typically (just coming from psych studies) one is more passive whereas the other is more aggressive. Is it possible that she’s jealous of not only your relationship with your Fiance, but also the attention?
Good Luck, I hope everything works out for the best!
Post # 8
I would tell her that she should be more concerned if you weren’t working through those things before getting engaged/married. I would explain to her that you appreciate her concern, however you feel that you and your Fiance are in a good place and that you are more aware than you were before. Then I’d tell her that while you appreciate her concern, for the sake of your relationship with her, she needs to let it go and be supportive of you, since you don’t feel it’s an issue and are happy.
It’s likely there is more to it on her end. Maybe she is worried about how things will change between you once you are married or she is jealous that you are taking the next step.
Post # 9
I have an identical twin sister and there is definitely tension there. She was my best friend for most of my life and now she and my Fiance are more like co-best friends. It’s a hard situation. I don’t know if that is what is going on here but maybe!
Post # 10
@mrstilly: Great response. I don’t think she’ll ever really understand since she’s never been through anything like that, but I do want to put her concerns to rest.