Post # 1
I’ll try to make it as concise and clear as I can. I might leave a few details out to do so.
Fiance and I are getting married in 6 months. I live with my mom and he lives with his parents, for medical and financial reasons for our parents. Once we are married, we are moving up north, 5 hours away from our families. We are buying a business, a restaurant. Business won’t start for another several months until its finalized. FI got offered a job to work 4 hours away with my sister’s husband for now to make more money. My sister and husband have 4 kids and dont live together. She lives in my city while her husband commutes on weekends to come home, during the week he lives alone. My Fiance will do the same.
We are getting our irish wolfhound in june, which we can’t have at his parents house if he moves and I can’t keep him at my mom’s. So the plan was to rent a house for my sister, her kids and I, and they would pay our rent while they work together 4 hours away from us. (She is my step sister and she lives with her brother, but is miserable there.) so that would benifit both of us because my sister would have her own place with the kids and I would have my place and room for our dogs. And the men come home on weekends. This is just the plan until we get married and then I move with my then husband and start our life together as newlywed. My sister wants to move with her husband As well.
But the dilemma. Now I’m thinking its not sucks a good idea to rent a house now with the wedding being only 6 months away. What if I leave and my sister is still living there. I can’t leave her with the rest of the rent. So Fiance said he’ll still plan on living there for about a year to save more money, then I move up north with him. With him still coming home on weekends. No way do I want to start off my marriage with still commuting on weekends. I think that is so dumb to get married but still live apart. The other dilemma is that yesterday his father just told us the doctor said he only has about a year left to live. So I want to spend as much time with him while he’s here. My Fiance does too but still thinks its ok to commute on weekends. I don’t think that’s good enough to spend time with his dad.
And we are buying another business up north that is going to be ready in about 2 months. So I also don’t think it’s a good idea to start working with my brother in law because once the new business starts, I don’t believe he’ll have time to run a new business and work a full time job. It’s just way too much going on.
I think the best thing to do is to choose one job, either our new business besides our restaurant, get that started over there, I’ll get my own place to have room for our dogs and he comes on weekends, not involve my sister and let her do her own thing, I move up north with him and start our life together after we get married. Or, stay here to spend more time with his dad until we get married and move together. (My dad is real big on not living together into we’re married, so we’re trying to respect that but not nessecary.)
are you guys totally confused? Lol. Hurts my head just thinking about all this. So sorry if I make no sense.
Post # 3
this is in fact very confusing. i would just keep doing what you guys are doing right now until you move in 6 months, and i would postpone getting the dog, which seems to be the bigger issue as you have nowhere to put him
Post # 4
Just don’t get the dog until you have a place where you can keep him/her.
Post # 5
yeah, I wouldnt get the dog. Unless maybe it’s a rescue in desperate need of a home.
Post # 6
@sept22insf: yeah, but thing is.. she doesn’t have said home
Post # 7
You owe it to a dog to have an appropriate home for it once you adopt it. Just wait until later to get a dog. There are plenty of dogs.
Post # 8
I would wait on the dog. That seems to simplify this situation.
Post # 9
@bebero: well, the dog would if the OP did one of the more complicated arrangements to get housing. But if the dog isn’t destined for a shelter and is from a breeder (which would be sad to me actually), then perhaps a different owner would claim it. Irish Wolfhounds are enormous and sadly bc of their size they don’t llong more than 7 years typically, dying of bone cancer usually. Ugh, breeding sucks. Wow! That was a big tangent and probably unwarranted. sorry!
Post # 10
@sept22insf: yes, we are buying from a breeder. We both always wanted an irish wolfhound and we are getting him from a very well known, respected breeder who has been doing this for 40 years, a judge in dog shows, coursing for hounds and does the classic hounds shows. And we also have 2 rescue dogs. The thing I’m most concern about is still living separately once we’re married.
Post # 11
@echolove: Wait, I’m confused. It sounded from your op that the irish wolfound was the reason you were getting this separate apartment with your sister…but you already have two dogs?
Don’t get me wrong, LDRs suck. But they’re also becoming more of a reality for us given the economy. It’s not like your Fiance is in the military, where he would be gone for months at a time. It sounds like you’ll still get to see him regularly with his job with your brother-in-law. And skype helps. It also sounds like you guys have a deadline in place for the end of the LDR — either six months or a year. And that’s a long time, but it does have an endpoint.
Personally? If getting the irish wolfhound in june (and subsequently renting the house with your sister) means you have to potentially spend a year in a LDR with your husband, I would wait on getting the wolfhound, or ask the breeder if your deposit can be put toward a puppy in a future litter. Or I would explain to your sister up front that you won’t be in the house past a certain date, maybe even put that date in writing. She might change her mind about that decision as well if she thinks she would need to find another roommate.
I also would hold off on getting the wolfhound because it seems like you will be raising it in a very different environment than the one you and your Fiance intend to settle in. Have you talked the breeder about having the dog in a home with four kids (especially if they are young kids)? Because four kids, four adults, and two other dogs seems like a pretty full house for a young dog.
Post # 12
Why get the dog now? You can get a dog later on… there’ll still be dogs in six months time.
As a side note, adopt don’t buy. There are thousands of dogs who need homes, there’s no need to go to a breeder. Adopted dogs are just as good.
Post # 13
@photogestelle: we have two rescues already. We always wanted a wolfhound and we wanted a puppy. it’s not always the same from getting an adult dog vs getting a puppy.
Post # 14
@echolove: can you simplify this? It’s really confusing. A few bullet points and a question would make it easier.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
if im reading this right just dont get the flat with your sister and it makes thingsbetter. apart from the dog is there any other reason you hav to get the flat??
Post # 16
I think there will always be puppies and breeders in the future. My FI’s parents bought a spanish water dog from a breeder, and the dog was expected to be old enough to bring home in May, just as my Future Mother-In-Law was finishing up the school year (she’s a teacher) so she could care for it all summer. Surprise! Mama dog had trouble getting pregnant so the dog actually came in September.
It would suck a lot to do all this moving if things don’t go to plan.