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Does anyone else ever feel like a giant dartboard? A giant dartboard that isn't allowed the right to their own opinion, even if it's not particularly controversial?
I feel that some people on this board don't quite understand the fact that we are all allowed to have an opinion, and it doesn't require agreement on anyone else's part. I state mine often, without calling anyone else out on theirs, and I believe that in doing so I am not being inflammatory. However, quite a few people on here have felt the need to cause outright arguments for the fact that we don't share the same opinion.
I'm not even talking about heavy stuff, folks. I'm not talking about politics, religion, etc... I live and let live... I don't have to have everyone around me agree and I certainly don't feel the need to argue them into seeing my opinion on the big things, much less the little ones. Differences of opinion happen. If I outright insult someone by name, okay, I could understand that. However, I DON'T do that. Yet, several girls on here feel that it's alright to do it ME.
I'm a peaceful person and I value having a peaceful life. I like this website. I have enjoyed helping people with their weddings, offering inspiration, and taking inspiration from others. I've met some great people, and I respect almost everyone here, without even having met them in person. I understand that there are some overly sensitive people in the world that probably shouldn't be on internet forums, because they will constantly find something that offends them. I'm not one of those sensitive people. But I AM quite sick and tired of attracting them. Now that my wedding is over, I come to WB to offer advice, keep up with the Bees that I've been following, and "chat" with my "friends". I don't come on WB to cause arguments, stir the pot, create problems, or because I enjoy having those things done to me.
I honestly don't see the point of being here if the tiniest little comment I make will end up creating unncessary stress for myself. I just don't live that way. I don't understand why anyone else would want to, but to each their own. I just wish more people felt that way.
I think the important thing is to take everything with a grain of salt. Things can get misunderstood in writing versus in person. Also, if someone is being "snarky," just ignore them. Everyone is entitled their own opinion and someone who wants to start a fight on an internet message board with you (or anyone else for that matter) really isn't worth the time.
Agree with Mrs. Louboutin....and if you enjoy your time on WB, don't let others drive you away or make you reluctant to post. It would be sad if you stopped posting because of fears of stepping on others' toes/fears of getting flamed. :( If you refuse to engage in an argument or respond to others' unpleasantness, then they'll have no way to continue.
Maybe with all the new engagements. people who are not used to the atmosphere here on WB... maybe it's new people who are bothering you.
Also, it is your opinion and sometimes our opinons can be very opinionated not the norm... it may not be normal. But that's why WB is so popular. We "should" respect people and their opinions and people should do the same to our opinons. I've notice that on WB, I say things that are against the norm but I try to put it gently, so I don't offend anyone.
Sorry, you are feeling this way. I sometimes notice that I have to step back from WB because if I'm having a bad day, I tend to be a bit attitude-y. And my responses reflect that.
Sometimes I skip over ones that may be a bit controversial just so I don't get all into it.
Awww... I didn't think she meant to attack you. It actually seemed like very civil discussion and disagreement to me, where you were both obviously on different sides. Personally, I feel comfortable discussing people's (and my own!) opinions and I wouldn't have felt attacked here, and I'm guessing that poster is the same as me in that way, but didn't realize that you would have felt uncomfortable. I'm sorry you feel that way; I hope you can look past it and just take it for what it is (a stranger out in space who disagrees with you) rather than taking it personally. :(
i find some days im in a snarky mood so i post abruptly and to the point and people react accordingly
i also think we all suffer burnout occasionally and this happens on whatever forums you are on (ie i had a 3mth break from being a moderatator on a scuba forum because i could. not. stand. to. read. one. more. question. about. split fins v paddle fins!)
sending hugs because we all have a down day ((hugs))
layla, don't leave. I was just about to reply to that other post again, but decided it was just fanning the flames. There are a lot of conservative people on here, which is one thing for weddings and traditions, but quite another on more hot-button topics. I think you'll find people that are more moderate just don't care to get into it, so you may feel alone with your opinions. Example - I stay away from the religious questions because I have nothing positive to offer their chats.
Yeah, that thread is starting to take an ugly, judgmental turn. Or at least an angry one.
What other post? Please don't leave! I'm sorry you're feeling this way!
I'm a little lost... but don't go! I've been called out a time or two but I just let it roll off my back. I don't have a "I have to be friends with everyone" mentality so if someone seems to be snitty to me and I'm not feeling it, I just ignore them. Whoever pissed you off, I'm sure the majority of people here still keep the good vibe around here going :)
Aw, I am sorry to hear you're feeling like a dartboard (nice metaphor though, very piquant). I have felt like that before too on Weddingbee (although not lately, lest anyone worry). Maybe you would feel better if you took some time for yourself away from Weddingbee? Usually a little breathing room helps me to feel better if I am feeling upset. I am not trying to tell you whether your feelings are right or wrong---I don't really believe feelings have right-ness or wrong-ness, they just are---but you are feeling them, and so the next step is to see what you can do to improve them.
Regardless, know that you are a very valued part of the hive and I hope you stay.
This makes me sad. When I first joined WB a few months ago, you were one of the people constantly posting, so I tend to read whatever you post. That other post was getting ugly, and I don't think one strongly opinionated person should drive you away. I've been called out a few times because there are some things I have strong opinions about, but I try not to even respond. I'll be sad to see you go.
Oh honey....some people on here just like to rain a little....just keep your umbrella up at all times. I basically got called a cry baby bridezilla today because I cried and was upset about not getting my shoes after being told they were there and driving and hour and a half to get them. I to feel like you cant give your opinion or say how you feel without someone breathing or should I say typing down your neck ( http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-horrible-good-shoe-shopping-day-at-nordstrom )
I like having you here.
Don't go. Stand up for yourself.
I'm so sorry you feel like you are a target. Sometimes people say things that sort of bug me but I try to let it roll off my back and not think about it. If they are purposely targeting everything that you say, maybe you should bring it up with Mr. Bee because no one should be singled out for the comments that they make. I really hope you don't feel singled out and stay here! I love your opinions!
Although I'm not sure if you're referring to a particular thread, I agree with everyone else in that you should definitely sick around if you like being here . I feel like in life there are a lot of people who are too easily offended (and some of them it's like they really like the drama of it), so I just choose to ignore them and move on. I don't think anyone should be judged or "corrected" for their opinion, but some people just feel the need to. Again, its easy to choose and ignore it. And I'm with Corgi - there's enough good vibes to keep it happy here!
Sometimes, with posts like that, it's just better to "walk away from the discussion." I am so hesitant to get involved with discussions like that one because I don't want to argue when people start to get heated over their opinions.
Just know that you're entitled to your own opinion! No need to validate your reasoning. Just a simple "Sorry, but that's my opinion. You're entitled to your own opinion, and I to mine, so agree to disagree."
Don't leave :)
1- Please don't leave. It made me sad when you went on hiatus before.
2- I think i know what thread you're talking about, and I haven't looked in awhile, but (as hard and kindergarten as this sounds) just ignore it. Easier said than done. Meh.
3- The anonymity of the internet is a powerful force. People can get their panties in a wad about something, and then lash out very excessively because there're no real consequences, and they don't have to do it face-to-face. Yeah, it blows.
4- Let's face it-- girls can be bitches. I know I definitely can be. Nature of the beast.
All rambling aside, please don't go! (And now I'm off to nose around to double check which thread you're talking about).
Edit: I didn't know, actually, and now I know. Gonna go readsky.
Aww - Layla don't leave! You're one of my fave bees too. I dunno what thread you guys are talking about so I can't help there. Sometimes I do see snarky comments (there was kind of a lengthy discussion today on the Catholic board too) and I think every now & then we get a few lurkers/trolls but I try to simply ignore it. There are a lot of posts I have strong opinions about but I don't respond & sometimes I don't even open the thread. Most of the time I try not to get involved or I just move on. Please don't let it chase you away.
I just found the post, and I just want to say again- please don't go!
Seriously! Don't go. You're a regular on here & I see nothing wrong with you having your own opinions. I'm lost too.. I don't know what the hot-post is all about, but regardless, don't worry about it!
I tend to do the same thing as Melissa, and stay away from volitile topics, especially if I seriously have a strong opinion on something & think I might inadvertantly offend someone.. but even for those of us who are brave enough to voice opinon on controversial issues, who cares if someone doesn't like it?! It's like you said! We all have an opinion & are allowed to express it.
Hopefully you'll decide to stay!
I think there a lot of people who get their thrills being excessively forceful online, I tend to think those people are total wimps in real life and get off being anonymous and nasty!
Don't leave over someone who probably can't get their opinion out in real life and therefore turns into a crazy person from behind their computer!
There are MANY MANY MANY times, where I am tempted to get into it with people on the boards, I type my reply and then DELETE it ... because it is totally not worth it (I much prefer debating with people face to face anyways - so there is no thrill for me in not being able to gauge a reaction - I come from a debating/arguing family so I can get it out in real life).
I hope you choose to stay, but I respect why you would want to take a time-out (I am taking a time our from another board right now)
*quietly holding up a sign in the back* please don't go!
deep breaths, and know that we bees need to support and stick together! 
Layla, don't sweat it. It's happened to me also. YOU are rain x. It rolls off your back!
I love you and don't want to see you go. You're an amazing friend and a great bee here and you've been such a positive force.
Well, my opinion is that you shouldn't go :)
Perhaps it's cowardly, but my strategy for situations like you experienced is to simply walk away. In a giant mishmash of comments, if someone singles out (in a negative way) something that I said when a bunch of other people are chiming in with similar ideas, I just ignore it. Don't engage. And if some anonymous Person On The Internet thinks that I'm a wuss for not arguing with them, it's really not going to affect my overall quality of life.
Don't go Layla, I love your sense of humor and I like the fact that you state your opinion when its controversial. You are one of my faves...don't leave.
I agree with Mrs. Scissors: some people just get their panties in a wad over stupid little things.
lol @ belenga: You are rain x
I'm not sure what other post you're talking about.
But, please don't leave. I really enjoy your posts. I agree with the ladies that said that girls can be super bitchy and stupid. Fighting online is pointless. Even if you win, you are still an idiot.
Edited to say- I saw the post I believe you are referring to. Please don't let that get to you.
clearly, i think im missing something - but definately dont go! :) this should be a fun place!!!
I want you to stick around! i love your opinions. I always agree with you, lol.
I love that you can call people out on stuff and basically say that you don't agree with the herd. Someone has to. I mean, if you're asking for an opinion, duh, you're going to get one! Yes, we're all about hugs and love and rainbows and stuff, but sometimes a dose of reality is good. I don't see any harm in a differing opinion. I figure if someone's got a problem with me, it's their fault, not mine. All the more reason to stick around and drive them crazy? lol...=].
oh hey edited to say - just saw what i THINK you were talking about - and seriously dont let her get to you. i could say a choice few words on that board to her, but i will stay silent.
as my momma always says let ugly be ugly, you dont have to get all down in the dirt with them. let them make a fool of themselves and move on. {{{HUGS}}}
oh layla, believe me I know what you mean. I have been around here for a while too. sometimes i say something that is not the norm but eh. I do that in real life all the time. more people around here is needed to act civil. if you go where would we all be?
Please don't go! Like others have said, the internet affords such anonmymity that people will go off on a rant knowing that their identity is protected. Easy to jump on a soapbox when no one knows your face and real name. Please stay!
I definitely dont think you should go. Its obviously we all love having you here, gawking at your wedding pics (lol) and value your opinion. Dont let people who chose to fight with their keyboards win.
Yo homey, I'm not letting you leave. I have no idea what the thread in question was, but you are my girl, and since I am selfish if you leave I won't have these things to help me with my own wedding (and I will number them).
So that's my take on it. Remember I was a chick in waiting and have also thought about leaving because of that and some other things. I say stick around but if you decide to go, I have your email and blog (i think i have your blog if I don't, let me know it please!!) we have to stay in touch!
I dunno what happened, but don't leave Layla! I love your posts :)
Agreed, I don't know what happened, but I don't want you to leave. There are too few of us Atlanta bees (or Georgia, I should say) and you are super cool!
So have you decided if you still want to be a bee? You can see an overwhelming response for you to stay. And you should!
The post you are talking about got really heated.
What I would have to say is these heated debates don't happen often here on WB. It's a once in a while kind of thing.
Stay, stay, stay. Please. :)
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