(Closed) My wedding date is a secret–should I keep it that way for now? Advice please!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: When should I let my brother and FSIL know about my wedding?
    now : (14 votes)
    82 %
    a month before their wedding : (1 votes)
    6 %
    right after their wedding : (2 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The longer you wait, the more likely it is that your brother and other family/guests will make plans for that time.  Giving people only 3-4 months notice for a wedding is a pretty short timeframe, especially since it appears your wedding will be around the winter holidays.  They will be making other plans.

    ETA:  Your parents are adults, so if they get suckered into paying more money for your FSIL’s competitiveness, that’s their prerogative.  You can’t live your life around her ridiculous tendencies.

    Post # 4
    1086 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would say to tell them the date but not necessarily the location. I mean, a date is just a date, nothing to compete with. If they ask where it is, tell them you are still looking until her plans are locked in with her venue and she can’t back out.

    I was hesitant to tell people the date we decided on but really, it’s just a date and it helps others to plan to at least be in town for those days even if they don’t know where it will be. Either way though, this is your day. I’m sorry to hear it will cost them more money if she gets her panties in a bunch, but it’s your day. She has her day she’s made perfect for just her, now you have your day perfect for just you

    Post # 5
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Your parents need to learn to say no or give a set amount and let her pay for the rest of it.  Hiding it makes it inconvenient for everyone.

    Post # 6
    3303 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would tell them now. Good luck!

    Post # 7
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Why don’t you tell them the date but not the venue? I don’t really see how the two coincide when allowing people to make plans for your wedding. If they ask just tell them you would rather it be a surprise or something.

    Post # 8
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I agree – tell the date, but that doesn’t mean you need to tell all he other details.

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