I have always dreamed of:
- Being proposed to by the man I love and having a sparkly ring placed on my finger
- Shopping for a wedding dress with my mother
- Having my father walk me down the isle and seeing the pride on his face
- Seeing the look on my future husband’s face as I walk towards him
- Being surrounded by everyone that I love so dearly as we exchange vows on the most important day of my life
I almost 46 and have waited a lifetime, but the reality is that I may need to just sign a marriage certificate this summer at city hall in order to start my Visa process so I can finally move to the US and be with my man.
He hasn’t oficially proposed yet as I know he is saving up for the ring but here we are talking about getting married this summer. I suspect the proposal will happen in the next few months. We had initially discussed that the wedding will probably then happen in 2014, which means we can then file for my visa but it will probably take close to a year before it is processed and that means it will be 2015 before we can finally be together. I just can’t wait another two years as we’ve been together for almost 3 years now.
So, we discussed that maybe what we need to do is this summer, just go to city hall and get married so that we can start the Visa paperwork. How romantic. Because we will probably have to file in the US, my family and friends won’t even be there. Poof…there goes all my dreams.
Yes, yes…I know. It isn’t about the ring or the fancy dress. It’s about the marriage..I get it. Funny how everyone who has told me this though is married and had their wedding.
My friend has basically told me to suck it up, we have no choice if we want to speed up the process. Yes, we can have some kind of ceremony later (not that we even have the budget for such a thing…immigration is going to be expensive) but really, once we are officially married, what’s the point? It’s just not how I saw it happened after waiting so long.
Sometimes life just is what it is and I guess I’d just better “suck it up, buttercup”.
well things dont always turn out the way we plan. I wasnt planning to be in school and not have any income. I wanted to have a big wedding with all my family and everyone but I’ve been out of work for the past 5 years. My savings have depleted with having to pay for school and well because of various things such as moving country, like you are, the wedding has to be in October and not in the summer like I had wanted. Which means that a lot of people wont be able to come and well I dont even have the money to have the big wedding anymore. I also cant afford the dress that I want so I’m going to have to settle on something I can afford but may not love. But you know what, I cant wait. I just want to be married already. Everyone says I can just have a small thing now and then do a big thing later… but really I only want to do it once so this is it. And I’m ok with it. I just look forward to the future. So I hope that you can be happy too even though it may not be the way you wanted but who knows… you may still want to do the ceremony later. I had a friend who had a very small wedding in Jamaica because she had to file for her husband to go to Canada so she’s planning to do it again too. She still had a ceremony though, in a church and she wore a wedding dress so maybe you could try something like that too. Good luck.
I am soooo not up on immigration law, and really should be. My FI is a Canuck (hence my moniker) but he is a legal alien RESIDENT here on a TN-1 visa (scientific expert or something like that). We’re assuming that he can gain permanent residency once we’ve married.
All that said, which actually is irrelavant to you, I am wondering if you could qualify for a K-1 visa which would allow…
A K-1 Visa (also known as a Fiance(e) Visa) is a nonimmigrant visa Visa issued to the fiancé(e) of a United States citizen. The K-1 Visa allows the visa holder to enter the United States for up to 90 days during which time they may get married and file for Adjustment of Status (to become a Legal Permanent Resident of the US). After filing for Adjustment of Status they may reside in the US beyond the 90 day K-1 Visa validity while their Adjustment of Status application is processed. While the K-1 Visa is legally classified as a non-immigrant visa, it usually leads to important immigration benefits and is therefore often processed by the Immigrant Visa section of United States Embassies and Consulates worldwide.
I obtained this information through an immigrant forum called http://www.visajourney.com. Perhaps they could offer some insight.
@Mrs Canuck: Thanks for taking the time to provide this info. I am familiar with the fiance visa as we have friends that went this route. However, I don’t think it is for me as while you are waiting for the change of status, which takes months, I would be unable to leave the US and see my family. As I have aging parents, this is just not an option for me. It is all just so complicated.
There’s totally a point to doing a ceremony later: all those things you dreamed about. They’re not necessary, but they’re more of the point of a ceremony than the paperwork. I know you know that, just hoping that you’ll feel better thinking about how you’re not losing the chance by getting the paperwork done.
I’ve seen some smashing weddings at City Hall. That’s not much comfort without the friends and family nearby, but maybe the key parental players could enjoy a family trip for the occasion? My friend is going to have a reception with a renewal sometime, but she brought her dad and brother up north for the first one. Her citizenship process is bullsh*t, too.
In a couple ways I can relate to this post.
DH is really not good at emotional stuff, so I wasn’t really on the level with a lot of waiting bees who eventually got their proposal with at least a candle and one knee. LOL.
We had talked about engagement and went ring shopping and it ended up with him literally giving me my ring because he was afraid to put it on me! But the intention was the same, the ring meant engagement.
After the fact I was a little resentful of it (mainly after reading bee posts hah) and he felt so guilty he swiped my ring on the first night we spent together in our new home and proposed in front of the fire. It was so special.
Our wedding was very much on a budget, we did a morning ceremony with a sandwich/snacky, beer/wine kind of thing…but everyone enjoyed it.
As you said, OP…sometimes things really, really suck at the time…compared to what you thought they would be…
But life has this weird way of surprising you. I think you will maybe have your city hall wedding to get things rolling, and maybe that in itself will be more emotional and romantic than you think it might be (removing all the pressure and anxiety of a massive ceremony). And then you can have a super amazing wedding with everything you wanted after that, in your own time.
Just try to remember things happen exactly in the way they are MEANT TO BE. We all have dreams and ideas we’ve thought about, seen in movies, or friends. But if it were any other circumstance, any other man, any other time in your life then it wouldn’t be YOU. Embrace what you have and know you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. The rest will fall into place exactly as it should
Thank you, ladies for your comments and good wishes.