My Wedding is out of control – Help with Parents please!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Eesh.  Sorry you’ve been put in the middle.

Honestly, if I were you, I would just tell both of your parents “thanks, but no thanks” then plan the wedding that you and your SO can afford.  Money often comes with strings, and you are getting tangled in the web of them!

Post # 4
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’d think it’s completely reasonable for your mom to want to help in her daughter’s wedding.  I’d simply tell your dad that mom wanted to help with certain things too and not make it sound like some things wern’t “good enough” for her.  Split the items up so thatyou can say your mom wanted to pay for the flowers or decor or whatever, and have your dad focus on food and entertainment.

Post # 5
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@sxcwed:  +1

Both parents can help. Getting divorced doesn’t mean that they can’t both support you. They need to realize that. Have the focus on different parts. 

Post # 6
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

First of all, is there actually a pot of money where this is coming from? From mom and dad? If there is, you can put it to them this way: 

‘dad wanted to give us a budget for our wedding and take care of most things’ and ‘mom wanted to help out with certain areas of the wedding’ ‘FI and I really appreciate the support from both parents, we feel so loved. DOn’t tell your dad how much or what your mom is doing and vice versa now for your mother. It’s none of the other parent’s business. Unfortunately sometimes divorced parents of adults don’t have filters, so it makes it complicated. But if you really and truly step back and want to elope or do something on your own $, then do it. 

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