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I have just spent the last two hours crying my eyes out. We were informed by our wedding planner that our wedding venue is closed. We are having a destination wedding, our flights have been booked, our guests flights have been purchased, and we've given non refundable deposits to the photographer and wedding planner and purchased the photog's flights. I AM SO ANGRY right now.
My mother keeps telling me that we'll figure something out and it'll all work out. B@LLSH*! I don't want to hear that. It's NOT going to work out. This sucks majorly and I cannot calm down. Everytime I think about it, I just want to seriously punch something.
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this...is the resort part of a family of resorts? would there be another option that you could use in the area you're going to? Is your planner trying to work with other hotels there?
I've felt that way..take pillows, throw them around a room, if you have a car go in it, put the radio on and scream at the top of your lungs :(
What's the nearest resort to one you had booked.? Start calling all of them and see if they have an availability. Hope is not lost. It won't be a total waste if you can find a resort nearby your old one.
Big big hugs. I'm so sorry.
There are other resorts in the area but I did not and do not want to get married at the Hilton, Wyndham, Sheraton and the like. I booked a boutique, small venue with an earthy feel to it and planned my wedding around it. My colors, dress, bm dresses, invitations, EVERYTHING have been planned around this venue.
I know it's crazy, but I feel that if I wanted to get married at one of those chain hotels, I could've done that right here in New York City. I refuse to get married in one of those places.
Everything that I've planned is down the tube. Everything. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.
DAMN!! That's awful!! Read your contract carefully and check and see if there is anything in there about a cancellation on the part of the venue. At the very least, they should have to refund any money you gave them and refer you to another venue in the area. It may involve a lot of phone calls but get a few people together and start manning the phones. The venue is at fault and the venue has to make it right.
I think that you could still make this work... did you purchase travel insurance? If so that takes care of all the travel expenses you put down... and if you booked the photographer through the venue I am sure you could work something out to get back at least a partial refund
Is there anywhere a bit further out from there, say like an hour away, that could be possible? Which area is it? Someone might be able to recommend somewhere to you...
Really hope you get it sorted! Have tonight to get it out of your system and start afresh tomorrow!
Nothing was booked through the venue. It's all a la carte. It's a small venue, so they didn't have an in house anything, they just made recommendations that we went with. So we can absolutely get our money back from the venue, no problem. It's everyone else that presents a problem as their contracts explicitly state that if the venue cancels, they still keep their deposits.
I am not concerned about my photog's deposit. He's stateside, and wonderful and we can still take pics with him. But we didn't purchase traveler's insurance and we already booked his flight. Lesson learned.
Oh no! That's awful. But I'm going to hold out hope that you'll either find another venue or at the very least, all you need is hotel rooms for everyone and a park to get married in. I'm sure you don't want to hear this and just want to be angry right now (and I would be so angry too!), but *something* will work out.
ETA: I understand your venue concerns but completely agree with the next poster. I stayed on a strip with a bunch of chain hotels in Maui and was surprised by how beautiful they were. Don't rule them out!
I know it sucks, but unless you want to lose that money (and have your guests lose their money!) you're going to have to look at the other resorts. Don't like the chain name fool you. Just because it's a chain, doesn't mean it's not really unique. They craft those places to fit in with the location, so a Hilton in NY is totally different than one elsewhere in the world. Let your self be bummed for a night because it sucks, but then in the morning start making those phone calls and move on. I guarantee on your wedding day you will not be thinking about the venue, you'll be marrying the man you love with your family and friends there to celebrate. The name on the outside of the building won't matter one bit.
I am so sorry this happened. It really does suck. Not stink, but suck and I totally would be upset.
But, I think you need to give yourself a couple hours to be upset and then decided how you want to handle this. Either you can call the wedding off over this or you can be pro-active and figure out how to resolve this. You have to decide if you call the wedding off because it won't be perfectly as you planned, or you make do with what you can have (hilton, etc) and roll with the punches.
Very sorry to hear about that. I would say take a day or two and relax and start a new plan. Trust me things happen for a reason! You will find something better!
Are you getting married somewhere tropical? Is there any way, you could find an officiant and get married on the beach? I mean you could still stay in the hotels or even a Bed and Breakfast...
I'm sorry.
Why not just get married on a lovely beach and treat everyone to a great restaurant afterwards? DW locales are set up to handle this, you really should be able to find an alternative that means everyone isn't out the money! Once you get through the initial shock, you'll see that it'll all be ok!!
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such stress so close to your big day but you still have a few months to work something out. Is it possible for you and your mother to make a list of restaurants, gardens, beaches, hotels/resorts, etc in the area and just split it up and start calling?
:::HUGS::: & keep us all posted :)
I am so sorry this happened. I agree with the other bees that you should look into other nearby resorts. I hope everything works out for you!
Alright, calm down, take a very deep breath, and just sit here for a minute and hear us bees out... this is salvageable... you can do this. You will do this!
everything happens for a reason, blahblahblah... but now you've got a real challenge. Bring it on!!
I think you should make a list of specific things that have to be corrected, and start working your way down.
I know it's hard to change your state of mind, but that's just the reality of what you are going to (eventually) have to do. The sooner you do, the better you'll be <3
If it were me, I would look for something, anything that is close enough to the original location that your guests will hardly be affected. I wouldn't be too worried about the fact that it's a chain location and you have "earthy" stuff. At this point, it doesn't really matter. You may consider incorporating a few new things that will make you feel better about the lack of a super creative venue.
I'm not quite sure that anyone or anything is going to make this too much better. To quote the rest of the hive, "this sucks".
If you are interested, I would be willing to donate wedding art for new invites:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/41876816/custom-illustrated-wedding-invitation
So sorry this happened to you!! This isn't how it's supposed to be!
-Stefanie
Are you still in touch with your wedding planner? She should be ALL over this! Enlist her help to research new options. I'm sure you can still pull off a wedding that you'll love.
I'm so sorry to hear about this!!!! I know you're very upset (and I would be too!), so my advice (like a few others have said) it to just take some time to BE upset. Throw something. Punch a few pillows. Put on some angry music, go for a drive, and just yell :)
THEN, once you've calmed down, you can start to think about other options. You may be able to find another small hotel where you can hold it, and it's very lucky that everything else was booked independently! At least you aren't out of a photographer, a caterer, etc! I wouldn't change plans completely, especially since you said guests have already booked flights. You will find something! Just take some time to be upset about it first - then you'll be able to think a lot more clearly :)
you have every right to be livid. it might be too soon to hear that things will be alright but hopefully things really will work out and this will be a story your grandkids laugh at one day (after the vein pulsing in your forehead goes down and your coordinator feels your fiery wrath that is).
I'm really sorry to hear that this happened. That's a big change to face only a few months out and a lot of stress for you. Now, I'm sure this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but I think your mother is right. It may seem like crazy talk right now, but SOMETHING will work out. As long as you are still marrying the man you love, the wedding isn't totally ruined. The marriage that is taking place is truly the focus and the point of the wedding and venue or no venue, your marriage is still on and that's what counts. Even venueless people can have a lovely wedding. I don't know what your original venue was, but rather than lose out on the money and cancel all the flights, is there a park, a pavilion, beach or simply a nice manor or historical home or something you could book? Things may not be exactly as you planned, but sometimes these difficulties lead to really great things - blessings in disguise. The wedding planner you are paying should be on top of this situation and searching out every possible option in the area. Enlist the help of relatives, wedding party and friends. Things can, and will, come together and work out. Work through the anger and take this as a challenge you can and will overcome, and something good will come of it.
UPDATE: So I looked at venues, called and got information, my wedding planner got info and it basically boils down to two choices:
1) Somehow, somewhere money must fall from the sky because the venues that are available are charging much more than what our original venue was charging. We would be severely over budget.
2) Cancel the wedding.
Both choices are so unappealing. So many folks have already booked their flights. I feel so badly but at this point I'm leaning towards canceling it.
Oh and stefanieastronaut thank you for your lovely offer! That's really sweet.
What about talking to the other venues directly and explaing to them what happened. Maybe they will give you a discount.
We were supposed to hear from our planner either Sat or Sun, as she was supposed to go to our final venue option and discuss possible discounts, etc. Additionally, she was supposed to send us actual photos of the venue because I am unwilling to book a venue that I have never seen without real photographs, not the retouched photos on the websites that were taken ages ago when the hotels were first built.
Well..no call. So now I'm pissed. My FI called HER (because I was livid) and she basically told him she has no news because when she went to the venue, the owners weren't there. Huh? You mean to tell me that since Thursday when we found out about this fiasco, she hasn't been able to get in touch with them? And NO PHOTOS (she claims she doesn't have a digital camera)?! I am IRATE!
We need to make a decision ASAP and this woman is dragging her feet. My guests are in limbo because I informed them of the situation and of the possibility that the wedding is cancelled. I called her back ready to go to blows over the phone but now she's not picking up the phone. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to blow a fuse soon.
I think I would be calling and calling until she answered. And when she did answer, I would be flying off the damn handle. That is OUTRAGEOUS!!! I think she needs to offer you a discount on her services after all of this!
I agree that she does need to be giving you some information ASAP. Can you try to call the venue and ask to speak to the owners? Sometimes it helps if they aren't available ask to set up a date/time that you can call that they will be in.
get on the net and look up for picks of the resort, i've found some from mine where former guests had taken pictures and posted them recently!!
I noticed from a previous post that you are getting married in Nassau.
Have you contacted the Ministry of Tourism for help?
They offer help in wedding planning. If anyone could suggest an alternate venue, it would be them. I am sure they would be empathetic to the situation you find yourself in.
From the United States:
The Weddings and Honeymoon Unit of the Ministry
of Tourism
Telephone: 888-NUPTIAL (687-8425)
Office Hours: Monday-Friday 9:30am-4:00pm
Email:
As upset as you are, I would also encourage you to take a deep breath and move on. These things happen in life. We cannot control what happens to us, only our responses.
At least you are getting married in a place with lots of beaches! (if you are in fact getting married in Nassau). How big & how formal is your wedding?
My husband's dad and step-mom got married in Nassau and they just did it on a beach. It was lovely and we all had a great time. Perhaps you can do it through one of those less than desirable hotels (in your opinion), but at least have the ceremony on a beach? Hope it all works out for you!
I'm very familiar w/nassau.
There are also some lovely restaurants with great views so that would be a great opportunity too.
One of my favorite wedding spots is in nassau (the cloister gardens at one and only ocean club) and you can rent it for a short while and then could have your reception at a local restaurant, or even there.
I've stayed at Atlantis several times, and bet they'd love to help out a bride in trouble by letting you have a lovely reception at a restaurant there..some of them already have entertainment playing!
My bff is visiting the RIU next door to Atlantis and I'd bet they might have some space and their cost is less than Atlantis and it's oceanfront. Call them and see if you could have a restaurant reception there or your wedding!
I am so sorry about all of this, this is every bride's worst nightmare and youre dealing with it!
I know it's been mentioned but you never said anything...could you get married on the beach with a tent or just an officiant and chairs for the guest? The recepetion you could do outside with tents or do it in a restaurant on the complex or nearby. I dont think its either the expensive or cancel; there's too much money invested with flights and the like and I really think you should look at getting married on the beach.
I'm so sorry, I know it's VERY frustrating and upseting and worst case scenario but not all is lost, you still have some options. Maybe not what you planned but at this point, you have to make the best of it somehow.
*hugs*
You just let me know if you need anything ;)
And did your planner call you back today? I cannot believe this is happening to you right now!!
I agree with bellenga...even though this MAJORLY sucks...I think you still have some options...
How about renting a private house near the beach? a lot of times private houses are near hotel chains, and that way you could have the wedding on the beach at the house and your guests could be within walking distance of both...
I know this isn't the same thing, but I just remember a couple of years ago a group of girlfriends and I rented a house as a way to save money not getting seperate hotel rooms and it was in walking distance of a nearby hotel and a beach...this was in Dominican Republic, but I think the same thing could happen in Nassau...
Such a nightmare! I feel for you!
I really hope you don't cancel the wedding though, specifically because of your guests. Like other bees suggested, try to find some other venue, even a non traditional one. It won't be perfect, but I am sure nobody would mind. They want to celebrate with you and understand what a major hurdle you have to face. You still have options, so that's good, it's not like a natural disaster wiped out the whole island, so you will find something.
Good luck! and let us know how it goes!
UPDATE: So I found another venue in the Bahamas and have to readjust all of my wedding planning. In my heart of hearts, i wanted to cancel it and just do it in NYC but most guests had already booked flights and hotel rooms. So in the end, to accomodate everyone we just found a venue there.
I honestly dislike everything about my wedding at this point. I really need help adjusting my attitude. Any words of advice on how to release all of this negativity? I am just at a loss...
Sure who knows, chick, maybe if you'd been able to have your original plan & venue, the ceiling would have collapsed or something! God only knows how it all happened to go so wrong for you, but you do have to *try to* not let it make you bitter. Best of luck, and I really do wish you the very best. It will work out fine.
No words of wisdom, just sending warms hugs and good thoughts your way. Your wedding will be amazing because you and the person you love will be there and you will be surrounded by people who care about you. [gentle hugs] Maggie
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