Post # 1
So i’m pretty much going to vent…so this might be kind of long.
My wedding has already been pushed back about 5 months so we would have enough money to pay for everything. our family lives out of town, we dont have many friends but we decided to have a wedding anyways. About 50 people should be attending, and i have bought EVERYTHING for our wedding. Well everything has been going great til my sister told me she wasnt going to wear the bridesmaid color i picked out. which is the color plum from DB. She told me that shes going to buy a black dress, she didnt even ask or care for my opinion! I tried everything to get her to wear that color, I even offered to pay for the dress…she still said NO! I only have a bridal party of two, so if both of them wear different colors it will look stupid. So now if she doesnt wear black she is out of my wedding, and she doesnt care. I have no one else to replace her. I only have one sister and my other bridesmaid is my cousin, and i only have one girl cousin. I dont have a best friend, so everything has been bottled up inside me for a while.
This whole wedding has been messed up, nothing is what me and my fiance really want. We wanted to get married in a church, but we dont go to one, when we went to look for a few, all of them were over a grand to rent! (my whole wedding is only costing us $1,500). So now we are getting married in my parents back yard, which isnt in the best shape either. We wanted to have our reception inside so i can decorate it really pretty and we dont have to worry about the weather. Well everything is at my parents house, and we dont really like that idea, but we were thankful that we could get married and have our reception somewhere. To top everything off, my parents are leaving next week and isnt coming home til 3 days before my wedding!!! Who is going to help me?? my sister said she would get everything done for me, including my bridal shower, but she isnt even in my wedding anymore. and my cousin lives 800 miles away, so she cant really help me do anything.
My fiance is ready to cancel our wedding and we can just married at the courthouse or on the beach in florida alone. But i know that it will piss off a lot of people, and we have postponed our wedding 3 times already, I cant tell them once again that we are cancelling it. I dont know what to do, I’m about to break down. No one seems to care about what we think. I just wish this was a lot ot easier.
Post # 3
@s.renea9: It sounds like you don’t really like any part of your wedding. I think you really need to think about what is important to you and your Fiance and go from there.
Post # 4
What If you did it at a park? Some have some really pretty gazebos?
Post # 5
I’m going to agree with treeline here and tell you this is your day and you do what you want and what you can afford. I understand the pressure from everyone, my wedding is Greek and Italian so I understand not wanting to step on people’s toes, but they need to be reminded that this is a time to support you in the start of your new life. You can always go to Florida and have your beach wedding and plan for a small get together with everyone else later on. This is the first day of your new life: don’t start it giving into everyone and feeling unsupported by those you counted on. Maybe if you make this move, they’ll get the hint. But don’t feel bad for wantingthings your way or calling them out on their lack of support.
Post # 6
@imalittlebirdie: I was just thinking that. Depends on where you live, but most places have at least one or two parks that won’t charge you to have your event there– you just have to book in advance.
But if it’s really stressing you, forget it. Who cares if ppl get mad… if they didn’t pay for it, they don’t really have a right to be upset. It’s not really inconveniencing them for you to cancel, unless ppl have made travel arrangements, reservations, etc. But even then, this is YOUR wedding, worry about YOU and your Fiance. Everyone else can take care of themselves.
Post # 7
Listen here…If this wedding isnt going your way them make it go your way. Im so sorry to hear your frustrations. I know how you feel I dont really have any close friends in my town to vent to neither.
If you arent really worried about all the guests then do the elopement with just the two of you on the beach and have a little party for those who are close to you some other time.
Post # 8
“But i know that it will piss off a lot of people, and we have postponed our wedding 3 times already, I cant tell them once again that we are cancelling it.” Um, YES YOU CAN. It’s your damn wedding – end of sentence. Listen, I know you feel like you’re letting them down but you’re not. I had to recently go through the same thing and believe me, folks will understand. And if they don’t…you need to find a new circle. This is about you and him, not anybody else.
ps. Your sister is a poop head. 😉
Post # 9
You need to have the wedding that you and your Fiance have planed for yourselves, I understand taking other things into account. Quite frankly the dress situation is not a big deal, maybe the other girl can wear black too? You need to look at your relationship, this is the day you’re going to marry your best friend, the love of your life. It’s a start to your future together, and if it would make you happier marrying on a beach, then I say go for it. You can always have a little reception at your moms afterwards. Try not to let the little things get in the way of the big picture.
Post # 10
@Sminthy: the only problem is my other bridemaid already bought her dress. which is why i cant change the color. if i cancel the wedding, i will offer to pay back her dress, because i will feel bad that she bought it for no reason.
I just dont know what we should do. I hate making decisions, and this is a hge one to make. ughh
Post # 11
Have one bridesmaid. Make her Maid/Matron of Honor. Do what will make YOU and your fi happy.
Post # 12
If I were you, I would go elope somewhere. 🙂 & pay the bridesmaid for her dress.
Post # 13
@s.renea9: Did you ever have an idea of what you wanted your wedding to look like before you started this plan? I know you said you wanted to get married in a church, I wouldn’t give that up if it’s really important to you. You might end up regretting it later.
Go do something relaxing, take a some deep breaths and give yourself space to really think before you make any decisions to go forward.
Post # 14
@imalittlebirdie: yeah i thought about it but he has 2 groomsmen, i just want everythingto match.
@meg.miles: I’m seriously thinking about it.
I’m just mad that I bought everything for our wedding….and i cant even use any of it if we elope
Post # 15
Our wedding is going to be a garden at the college where I teach. Cost? Zero. It;s a short ceremony so no need for chairs. It’s in a garden so there’s no need for decorations! Many couples get married at the state capital building, which in my state is FREE.
We are also renting a local picnic grounds for $250 for the whole day. This place has covered pavillions that would easily accomadate 300 people,and of course picnic tables and a bar area. There’s bathrooms, a rudimentary kitchen, horseshoe pits, and a volleyball and softball area. And plenty of parking!
The point is that with some research, there is often low-cost or free alternatives. And if worse comes to worse, have the courthouse wedding and throw yourselves a grand party afterwards. We are having a pig roast!
Post # 16
I was getting so stressed that my hubby and I eloped in August at the court house. It just got to the point that I was not even looking forward to my own wedding. We are having our wedding this December and eloping WAS THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE.
-I no longer feel that I will step on people’s toes and I also don’t care what people think
-I’m having the wedding that WE want, not that everyone else wants
-We’ve had time to think about what we really want, research, and know for sure
-We have had time to save money for it
-We are no longer stressed out about all the formalities, traditions, etc. We are making this our own.
-We have gotten our priorities straight.
My mind has done a 180 since we eloped. My wedding in Dec. will be exactly what we love, not what we thought we wanted before. I live in Florida but we are doing a destination wedding in the Smoky Mountains of TN. Everything is totally different than our original idea. Colors, time of year, projects, everything. We are now doing what we LOVE without regrets and it feels amazing.We don’t even have a bridal party and instead we’re making all our guests wear yellow. Everyone was getting so offended before, and my future sis in law wasn’t going to be able to wear the dress I wanted, it was so stressful–but NOT ANYMORE.
You could also just elope at little chapel on your own, with your dream dress, and hire a photographer. I have seen so many beautiful elopements recently.You should look into chapels in TN, there are tons of cute ones there.
I say all this to say: don’t be pressured to do what is not in your heart. Btw, if you need help planning something in Florida, I live here and don’t mind helping you out at all.