Post # 1
My sister was supposed to be my maid of honour. My sister is 24 and currently lives at home with my mother. She has a 3 year old and works the summer for a family friend, and goes on unemployment half the year. When working, she makes good money, but she’s lazy and refuses to work the rest of the year. When I first went dress shopping with my sister, she rolled her eyes and complained the entire time. When I eventually bought a dress, my sister told me to store it at her house because she didn’t smoke in the house because she has a toddler. When I picked up my dress last month it was tar stained because she was carelessly smoking in the room in which the dress was stored For the last 8 months. Thanks sis. Dress is ruined. Stained nasty brown and dry cleaners said probably cant be fixed. I paid for my sisters flight to my destination wedding that is scheduled for 4 months from now. She said she Would pay me back initially and agreed with the price…Today she told me she has now decided it’s too expensive for her to pay me back. She said if I want her at the wedding, I’ll have to let her keep the plane ticket without paying me back, and otherwise she’s not going. She acted like it was MY fault that i bought her such an expensive ticket, and therefore my fault that she wouldnt be going. we had agreed on the price when i purchased the ticket! I’ve tolerated a lot from my sister over the years, but t his wedding has been the last straw. She’s no longer invited, and I won’t be speaking to her ever again. I can’t believe a sibling can be so selfish and careless about other’s feelings. What a bitch. #stuck with a non transferable plane ticket, but I’d rather keep it than see her face standing with me at my wedding.
Post # 3
That sucks 🙁 when people show you who they are, believe them. How on earth does brown tar stains get on a dress simply by having someone smoke near it?
Post # 4
That’s the tar from smoke that stains fingernails, lungs, teeth, and wedding dresses, apparently.
Post # 5
@SoupyCat: How on earth does brown tar stains get on a dress simply by having someone smoke near it?
I don’t know. That was my first thought too!
Post # 6
After googling I saw there’s many articles about tar stains appearing on clothing due to heavy smoking.
@lucyduck: Ugh what a minger. Never speaking to her again sounds a bit harsh, but perhaps this kind of thing has been going on for a while.
Post # 7
omg I’m so sorry that this happened. Dresses are expensive enough and for your ‘sister’ to carelessly ruin it , well it just is so immature. the plane ticket issue brings this to a whole other level , least IMO.
Post # 8
@lucyduck: I feel for you – and I agree also with what SoupyCat said. She’s shown you her true self, so its completely up to you if you want that person at your wedding.
Post # 9
@SoupyCat: Oh trust me, smoking stains EVERYTHING. I used to work for a cleaning service and we had to go wash the walls in this old lady’s apartment and apparently all she did was smoke. The water running down the walls looked like blood it was so dark. DISGUSTING!
Post # 10
@lucyduck: Ugh! It sucks when you can’t count on your sister. My sister and I barely speak. I could drop off the face of the earth and she wouldn’t know it. You had every right to leave your sister out of the wedding. Simply being blood related does not mean you get to treat someone like dirt. I hope you can forget about it and enjoy your day.
Post # 11
I think you were right to uninvite her. She sounds selfish and entitled.
Post # 12
Yikes- that’s a sucky situation. I don’t know how I would have felt about this a few weeks ago- but I just had a yucky fall out with my sister (MOH)- because of her HUSBAND!! To make a long story short, he crossed boundries. I told her that if he doesn’t apologize to me before my wedding- SINCERELY apologize, he is NOT welcome at our wedding. It also put me in a position where I had to ask her to decide to either be in my wedding or not- I’m afraid she’ll be so upset if I don’t let her hubby come to the wedding- she actually thought that I NEEDED to apologize to him- absolutely not. He threw the first punch and was totally out of line. I was afraid if he wasn’t allowed to come, she wouldn’t either. While I’ve never liked him, they seem to make eachother happy- and defend eachother to the end.
That said- she needed to make a commitment to attend- or not to attend. Meaning even if hubby doesn’t come because he doesn’t apologize, she still needs to come IF she makes that choice.
You sister sounds like an EXTREMELY selfish, thoughtless person. Sadly, I’m not really sure WHY you’d want her at your wedding- she takes no regard for your money, your dress – anything it seems. If she can’t figure how to get off her lazy but and work to pay you back, I’d cut her off. Totally sucky, I know. But some people never learn.
Post # 13
I’m super close to my sister (who is my MOH) and I can’t imagine what you are going through. So I may not be the best to give advice, but I would say that you already bought her ticket, so let her come. The ticket is non-transferable anyway. She doesn’t have to be in your wedding, but she can still attend. Have her pay you back what she can.
Someone mentioned on another thread that weddings show everyone’s true colors and I believe it. Your sister sounds like she’s jealous, because you’re getting married and she hasn’t gotten her life together. Marraige can be intimidating to folks because it symbolizes growing up. Your sister is obviously not ready to grow up yet, so she’s mad because you’re moving on with your life.
You don’t need to speak to her until after the wedding. At some point, you two should sit down and have a good conversation about things. In the meantime, give the ticket info to a mutual family member to give to her and move on with your wedding planning without discussing anything further with her, until afterwards.