My wedding made me hate my sister – vent

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4395 posts
Honey bee

That sucks 🙁  when people show you who they are, believe them. How on earth does brown tar stains get on a dress simply by having someone smoke near it?

Post # 5
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

@SoupyCat:   How on earth does brown tar stains get on a dress simply by having someone smoke near it?

I don’t know.  That was my first thought too! 

Post # 6
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

After googling I saw there’s many articles about tar stains appearing on clothing due to heavy smoking.

@lucyduck:  Ugh what a minger. Never speaking to her again sounds a bit harsh, but perhaps this kind of thing has been going on for a while.

Post # 7
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

omg I’m so sorry that this happened.  Dresses are expensive enough and for your ‘sister’ to carelessly ruin it , well it just is so immature. the plane ticket issue brings this to a whole other level , least IMO.  

Post # 8
5 posts

@lucyduck:  I feel for you – and I agree also with what SoupyCat said. She’s shown you her true self, so its completely up to you if you want that person at your wedding.

Post # 9
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SoupyCat:  Oh trust me, smoking stains EVERYTHING. I used to work for a cleaning service and we had to go wash the walls in this old lady’s apartment and apparently all she did was smoke. The water running down the walls looked like blood it was so dark. DISGUSTING!

Post # 10
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@lucyduck:  Ugh! It sucks when you can’t count on your sister. My sister and I barely speak. I could drop off the face of the earth and she wouldn’t know it. You had every right to leave your sister out of the wedding. Simply being blood related does not mean you get to treat someone like dirt. I hope you can forget about it and enjoy your day. 

Post # 11
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think you were right to uninvite her. She sounds selfish and entitled.

Post # 12
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yikes- that’s a sucky situation.  I don’t know how I would have felt about this a few weeks ago- but I just had a yucky fall out with my sister (MOH)- because of her HUSBAND!!  To make a long story short, he crossed boundries.  I told her that if he doesn’t apologize to me before my wedding- SINCERELY apologize, he is NOT welcome at our wedding.  It also put me in a position where I had to ask her to decide to either be in my wedding or not- I’m afraid she’ll be so upset if I don’t let her hubby come to the wedding- she actually thought that I NEEDED to apologize to him- absolutely not.  He threw the first punch and was totally  out of line.  I was afraid if he wasn’t allowed to come, she wouldn’t either.  While I’ve never liked him, they seem to make eachother happy- and defend eachother to the end.

That said- she needed to make a commitment to attend- or not to attend.  Meaning even if hubby doesn’t come because he doesn’t apologize, she still needs to come IF she makes that choice.

You sister sounds like an EXTREMELY selfish, thoughtless person.  Sadly, I’m not really sure WHY you’d want her at your wedding- she takes no regard for your money, your dress – anything it seems.  If she can’t figure how to get off her lazy but and work to pay you back, I’d cut her off.  Totally sucky, I know.  But some people never learn.

Post # 13
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


I’m super close to my sister (who is my MOH) and I can’t imagine what you are going through. So I may not be the best to give advice, but I would say that you already bought her ticket, so let her come. The ticket is non-transferable anyway. She doesn’t have to be in your wedding, but she can still attend. Have her pay you back what she can.

Someone mentioned on another thread that weddings show everyone’s true colors and I believe it. Your sister sounds like she’s jealous, because you’re getting married and she hasn’t gotten her life together. Marraige can be intimidating to folks because it symbolizes growing up. Your sister is obviously not ready to grow up yet, so she’s mad because you’re moving on with your life.

You don’t need to speak to her until after the wedding. At some point, you two should sit down and have a good conversation about things. In the meantime, give the ticket info to a mutual family member to give to her and move on with your wedding planning without discussing anything further with her, until afterwards.

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