My Wedding, My Opinions, My Day

posted 2 years ago in Decor
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

The only thing to do is stop changing things. Your mom and cousin can say they don’t like it all they want, but that doesn’t mean you need to change it.

If they try to change anything, don’t let them. If they say, “Well, I think it should look this way”, say, “That’s a good idea, but we’re sticking with this one”. Seriously, each time they have a suggestion, acknowledge it and then say, “But we’re still going with this idea”. 

You’ll have to stop giving in. It may be difficult because they’re family members, but you can’t let them walk all over you.

Post # 4
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

TiaMP:  When you are in a situation where your mom or cousin is about to walk all over you, try to focus on your mouth — not your feelings, not their feelings, or how they might react — and on forming statements like, “That sounds nice, but we’re going with this instead”. 

I know that sounds odd, but it can work. Focus on forming the words and making them come out of your mouth. It might take some practice, but it’s in your best interest to learn how to stand up for yourself. 

You’re not being mean by saying “No” or declining to do things for people when you don’t want to or can’t, by the way. You’re doing what everyone human needs to do sometimes. If you keep giving in, you’ll wear yourself out and people won’t hesitate to use you. Don’t let that happen; that’s not a good way to live. 

Post # 6
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

TiaMP:  People will only get away with what youa llow them to get away with.

Put the big lady panties on and start putting your foot down. You don’t have to be mean to be firm. Saying something like “Well thanks for the suggestion but I want to do it this way. thanks” if they push harder say “I really would rather we just stick to what I had originally wanted.” and if they KEEP ON PUSHING just say “No. This is how I want it. Period”  At some point you will have to make them respect your ideas and opinions. Especialy about your own wedding. And where is your fiance on all of this? it’s his day too so he can also be the one to step up and say “ya know, I agree with Tia, we are going to do it this way”

something to note is that you should watch the language you are using. don’t ask, tell. don’t use phrases like “I think it should be like this”. Instead, say “It’s going to go like this”. the less room you give for suggestion the better off youw ill be.

Post # 8
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

TiaMP:  No problem.

You’ll get better at standing up for yourself the more you practice. It may be difficult, but it’s more than worth the trouble.

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