Post # 1
Where do I start… Well I wanted a destination wedding maybe 20 guest something small and sweet. My moh him having a best man and thats it. Well apparently my Fiance has been dreaming about his big church wedding ever since he was a little boy so there went my easy wedding. I am a Florida girl born and raised and about a week after my mom’s un expected death me and my Fiance moved to PA (far far away from all of my friends and life as I knew it). In addition to this lovely big wedding he has dreamed of he also has 6 groomsmen. Being we just moved up here I only had 2 good friends in Florida to be my bridesmaids and I figured I would add his brother’s wife (future sister in law) into the mix. Well one of my good friends (bridesmaid) got murdered by her SO a few months back 🙁 which is horrible and I still miss her terribly. I added my Fiance little cousin (15) 2 of the groomsmen’s girlfriends and my brother’s girlfriend into the mix to even the sides well now both of the groomsmen have broken up with their girls while one has made it very clear she still wants to be in the wedding (they both bought their dresses). The other one hasn’t said anything about wanting to be in the wedding. I am not getting much help from these girls on planning my Future Sister-In-Law has been the most helpful she is planning the bridal shower and has gone dress shopping and such with me. My Best friend in Florida hasn’t done anything but I can’t hold it against her, however Future Sister-In-Law should really be the maid of honor not the best friend but I dont’ want to hurt her feelings…. UGH and to make it all worse the one bridesmaid wants to bring a date to the wedding but if she brings a date then I have to let all of them bring dates this is adding 4 more people I don’t want to A) pay for and B) put at tables and C) will cause MAJOR drama b/w all of the exes when the alcohol starts flowing….. WHAT DO I DO?
Post # 3
I think you should drop the two ex gfs and have an uneven wedding party. (Or demote 2 guys to ushers). Buy their dresses off them so you won’t be out of pocket. If you only know these girls through their exes, they’re not really your friends so it doesn’t make sense to keep them.
Keep your best friend as Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s nice that Future Sister-In-Law is helping, but Maid/Matron of Honor is for best friend, not the girl who helps the most.
p.s. Sorry about your other best friend, that’s awful 🙁 🙁
Post # 4
you don’t need even sides. just have who you want to stand up with you.
like pp said, if you have to buy back a dress, then do it to save the drama. it’s tough when they want to bring dates so i would try to eliminate the ex’s unless they are really close to you.
Post # 5
I think you might cause more drama by kicking them out of the wedding party than by not allowing them dates. Are these ladies in relationships? If so, it is good form to allow them to bring the dates, especially since they are in the bridal party.
I am very, very sorry about your friend. I cannot imagine how horrific that must have been for you.
Post # 6
@DeniseUCF: If your budget allows, then let the bridal party bring dates. If not, there isn’t much to do about that. You don’t need even sides, but I wouldn’t kick out the ex-gfs unless you have good reason. As far as dates, we are letting the bridal party bring dates, and then anyone in a serious relationship, such as living together, married, or engaged cn bring their SO.
As far as the alcohol flowing and drama ensuing… it isn’t your problem. Wedding planning is stressfull and it’s easy to add more worries to the stockpile. If someone is being ridiculous and out of control, ask someone to get them to leave. Don’t make your decisions based on worrying about “what could” happen.
Post # 7
Well one move up the person that’s helping you the most. I had to do that in my wedding. One of the girls that have paid for he dress and still wants to be around for keep her, but let her know she need to step it up. Sometimes all it takes is a talk. Now if the talk doesn’t work put’em out. It’s your day and small or big it’s about you and your soon-to-be husband
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for your advice… their breaks ups were in the last 2 weeks so no serious relationships with new people yet the one just want’s to bring a date because she doesn’t want to be in a situation with no one to dance with and such and to make her ex jealous, but her ex never cared about her to begin with so it won’t make him jealous but if he brings a date I know her it will devistate her. I have time to think about it but at the current moment I am just trying to persuade her not to bring a date and remind her of the reprocussions if she does. As for the otherone she lived out of town and now that she isn’t with my FI’s friend anymore I am never going to see her so I think I should offer to buy her dress back and see if she really wants to be in the wedding or not.