(Closed) My wedding planner is my FMIL

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s his wedding too and his mother planning. Why doesn’t he figure out what to get her? 

Post # 5
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“NO.” 

That is what I thought when I read the title of this post. : ) Why not make the major decisions and have her help with the details (picking up contracts, delivering checks, verifying schedule)? There is no reason she should be making major decisions. 

Anyways, get her something indulgent. You can’t go wrong with a gourmet dessert or chocolates. My go-to is a Debauve & Gallais sampler. If she hates it, it’s still a beautiful thought – one that doesn’t sit around her house out of obligation. 

Post # 6
Member
7277 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Bubbles42:  *ding*! We have a winner. This is exactly what I thought. If I’m buying something for my SO’s mom, I always ask him even if it’s just coming from me. So you better believe if it was for OUR wedding, he’d be the one buying it. 

Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Chelle-Lee:  I dont really understand why your FMIL is planning your wedding, especially if she is not interested in your vision. Is she paying for the wedding as well?

Post # 8
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Chelle-Lee:  Wow, we are in very similar situations! My FMIL is doing a lot of planning, mostly because her and my FFIL are paying. She doesn’t work and pretty much just finds more ideas to show me, often changing her mind multiple times. I am not buying her anything, because we don’t really have a lot of money and they know that.

Post # 9
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@MlleDarcy:  Me too. Just “no.” 

Let your FI deal with her. That’s the best way to minimize conflict. 

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