My "Why don't people know how effing RSVP cards work" post

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

StL.Ashley:  Remember this when it comes to teaching etiquette to your own children.

Post # 4
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ohhhh boy I bet that is so annoying. Some people just don’t think! Hopefully a call by your Mom will straighten it out. 

Post # 5
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When my mom and uncle were teenagers they weren’t invited to some couples wedding because they were to young.  Fast forward a decade later my mom only invites this couple to her wedding but they add their two small children under 5 on the RSVP.  When my mom explained that only the couple were invited they were upset.  Some people I tell ya.  

Post # 6
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

StL.Ashley:  Gosh…yes this is so true and happens to i think all of us with at least ONE guest.  So annoying.  I can’t help but file in the back of my mind “I must remember to teach my kids proper etiquette (especially boys!)”. None of my FI’s friends RSVPd unless they have a significant other that is a female…who obviously responded as it was very female writing 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

that is ridiculous! we’re also having formal invitations and just selected them, but they have the traditional blank m_______ line – and after hearing people’s horror stories, we’re going to nicely write in the names of those invited and reduce their participation to checking ‘attends’ or ‘declines’. that said – i can just imagine someone pencilling in a new name, at which point i will have an embolism.

a friend of mine is getting her rsvps back as we speak and recently got one where the husband couldn’t come, so the wife subbed in their two children (to a child free wedding) because ‘caterers charge half for children, so two of their plates should equal my husband’s’ –> how do you know the catering contract? and what about their chairs? plates? cutlery? glasses? which is all besides the fact that it’s a child free wedding! 

people are crazy, sadly you’re not the only one dealing with this!

Post # 10
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

See, we have that problem…. My FI’s cousin got married last year and his monster sized family is a little bit inconsiderate (or A LOT!). On her wedding day, a bunch of people brought their uninvited children to the reception. There were not enough seats for everyone, so a lot of immediate family who didn’t have a place to sit, ended up leaving. 

What we are doing to avoid this, on our RSVPs we wrote…  People attending (  ) of (  ). We write the number on the second (  ). If they change the number, they will get a call. 

Good luck! 

Post # 11
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

StL.Ashley:  Oh yes.  That sounds like the conversation Mr. S had with his mom last weekend when we got his cousin’s RSVP – adding their child who was not invited.  It blew up in our face big time and his grandma threatened not to come.  So my advice, be BLUNT but polite if you have to call.  After I found out what happened with the family situation, I sent an email (I was angry and didn’t trust myself to not yell on the phone) to his mom (didn’t have said cousin’s phone number) explaining the venue capacity, guest list breakdown and current headcount.  It got the point across, I think, that we weren’t trying to offend anyone because they’ve pulled back the extra person.  But still, you’re right in that people should know how to read an invitation. 

We even put the “We have reserved 2 seats for you.” on there but they still added another person, and my own aunt was wondering if she needed to add her mom to her RSVP.  Um, her name wasn’t on the invite and it says 2 seats on your RSVP… your mom (a pseudo grandma to me) got her own invitation…. UGH.

Post # 12
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

These threads make my skin crawl… why are people so rude? The RSVP are very clear! If it’s NOT addressed to you then you’re NOT invited and if you’re unsure then call someone and ask before you invite extra people! I wouldn’t think this was such a big deal if it didn’t cost anything but you have to account for seats, drinks, and food and that can get really expensive really fast. <br />We tried to make it very clear to our guests and did the same thing as @MrsPiggles but when we sent out our invites the second one we got back had “3 out of 2 are attending.”<br />I just looked at my FI and I was like “How?!”<br /><br />

Post # 13
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

UGH people are inconsiderate. My boss did this. I addressed it to her and her husband (also my boss). She was like we are coming, me, hubby and daughter (9 years old). I didnt really know what to say, so I was like umm ok. She didn’t send an RSVP, just verbally told me, so it kinda put me on the spot. We will have some kids there (my godkids, FI’s neices, a few close friends kids) so it’s not a huge deal. But it still made me go WTF!

Post # 15
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

StL.Ashley:  GIRL. I. KNOW. And also, people RSVPing with “Miss. Lastname and (guest name).” Umm…YOU DIDN’T HAVE A GUEST!!! Why don’t people get that the name(s) on the invites are THE ONLY PEOPLE INVITED?!?! I can’t tell you how many times I have had to say “No, your boyfriend/girlfriend/kid/friend is NOT INVITED!”

 

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