Mysetry present was not a diamond ring..

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would just be honest with him, and say that the comment about the diamond ring got your hopes up. And then ask if he also thinks your relationship is headed towards an engagement. 

Post # 4
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I don’t often get surprises from BF so I rarely have to deal with that kind of disappointment (yay? lol), and whe he does get me something he’s excellent at keeping completely quiet – a la the massive cuddly penguin that rocked up in an amazon box yesterday ^^

 

I don’t think you need to hide your disappointment, it kind of sounds like you were actually hoping it would be GHDs before he made the ring comment? Hold onto that 🙂 Just let him know gently that you love love love your gift (cause you do) but that the ring comment threw you for a second and that your hopes were unfairly raised when they wouldn’t have been otherwise, would it be possible for him to refrain from such things in the future?

 

I’m sure you’ll feel better soon 🙂 x

Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@LilMonkey:  I remember your post. I didn’t know what a GHD was. Positively, you got it. I’ve never gotten that sort of disappointment but I can say that it is obvious that your SO knows that you are waiting on a proposal. After all, he used it to through you off.

I believe that it will still come.

Post # 7
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would ask him to make joking about engagement rings off limits. He knows you want to be engaged, and he’s fucking with you because he also probably knows that you’re “not allowed” to talk about engagements. I would tell him flat out that joking about things that can possibly be diamond rings really hurts you, and to stop. Maybe he’ll get the memo that you’re really serious about this!

Post # 8
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry it wasn’t the sparkly present you’d hoped for but what I wouldn’t do is tarnish the pleasure of him giving and you getting the GHDs with any comments about hoping for a ring. That way you are unintentionally likely to come across as ungrateful and not necessarily move any engagement rings any nearer.

But for sure, in a couple of weeks time, there’s nothing wrong in tactfully suggesting that jokes about “I didn’t say it wasn’t an engagement ring” are rather unfair and hurtful.

Post # 9
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

What is a GHD?

Post # 11
Member
6875 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@LilMonkey:  Ha! I had to google what a pair of GHDs is (it turns out I totally own a GHD, but referring to it as a pair threw me off! I was thinking heels or something! ‘merica)

Anywho – hell yes to getting a GHD straightener! They are ah-mazing!! And if he brought up the ring thing, then he knows you are expecting a proposal soon! Just relax and let him do his thing. Waiting is super hard and it can suck. I remember having full days where I spent the entire day crying because I felt like since he wasn’t proposing he dind’t love me.

Honestly, I don’t know why or how we let ourselves get that down about a proposal! He obviously loves you, he’s showering you in gifts :p Just relax. 

Call him and tell him how much you love your present and try fixing your hair in a new style or something to get your mind off of it. Maybe jokingly say “I thought it was going to be a diamond! You had me fooled!” and see how he responds. 

Don’t tell him how bad you feel, because he’s probably expecting you to be super stoked about your gift. There were a lot of days pre-proposal that I let waiting get me down, and looking back on it, I definitely should not have taken out my waiting woe’s on my SO. This is one of the most exciting times in your lives and relationship, so enjoy it and have patience! 

Post # 12
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I agree with @GoldfishPie: about making the jokes off limits. My husband made a comment once when we were out drinking with friends that included the word love before we had said I love you. I ended up yelling at him in the street that he couldn’t say stuff like that (we were both drunk), and I ended up yelling “I love you!” and he yelled back “I love you too!” So maybe the conversation about keeping the jokes to a minimum can lead you to a real conversation about a timeline.

Post # 13
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

@LilMonkey:  I knew you’d feel better! 😀 aren’t men just the cutest thing when they’ve gotten you a present? And especially when they actually know it’s a good one XD

 

I think your decision is a good one, hopefully next time he brings up engagement completely randomly so you can call him out on it as an isolated thing (or, lol, even better maybe he won’t do it again!)

 

xx

Post # 14
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

@dancingriss: lol! I had an experience like that with “I love you.” I had been with my then bf for 4 months and we were out drinking (of course-that is always when shit goes down) and he goes “I could totally see myself falling in love with you.” I got pissed and yelled at him for saying that. I was like WTF don’t say that shit just tell me you love me when you do. haha. drunk/crazy tatertot came out that night. 

Post # 15
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

GHD’s are not to be sniffed at – I’d love a pair! 

Sorry he got your hopes up with the diamond ring comment though. I think sometimes they geniunely don’t realise what effect things like that have on us! 

Post # 16
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Tatertot2003:  haha yuuuup. there’s was a cop nearby in his car with the window cracked. we still joke to this day that he was probably rolling his eyes hardcore

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