(Closed) myspace/facebook in relationships

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

FI and I both have facebook.  I don’t mind them – neither of us are on there very much, and we mostly use them just in stay in touch with friends, etc. 

FI has never lied to me though like in your case.  I probably wouldn’t like facebook either then!

Post # 4
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with you jwin –

I met my husband on MySpace, and 2 mos after we started dating, we both cancelled our accounts. They were not really necessary to us anymore, because, as you said, anyone who wants to contact you can always call.

I didn’t ask him cancel his, but I told him I was cancelling mine and explained that it felt more like a dating website than a place to keep in touch with friends. He must have agreed, because shortly after he cancelled his too!

Don’t feel too bad for being “paranoid” about what he’s doing on there. It is important to trust him though, but if you get too worked up over it, you might just casually mention it to him and see what he says.

Good luck 🙂

 

Post # 5
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wait, ok, I missed the part where you said his friends had posted pics of him with them when he told you otherwise… hmm…well, then maybe you should talk to him about those pics and the importance of him being upfront with you on things.

 

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have a FB account, my FI has no internet community accounts of any type. He isn’t against them…he just has other things he would prefer to do with his time. Since I work in the IT industry for me it’s like mixing business with pleasure (of the purely platonic type). He doesn’t have a problem with me being on FB…especially since I told him if he ever wanted my pswd all he had to do was ask.

Post # 7
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’ve never thought of myspace and facebook as dating websites so they don’t really bother me.  I love that I can keep track of old school friends that I wouldn’t hear from otherwise.  My husband has a myspace account and I’m on facebook although I keep teasing him that he’ll convert sooner or later. 

If I caught him in a lie that would really bother me although I wouldn’t blame it on the website.  Before we were seriously dating his profile picture tended to be sexy and if he had kept that up I probably would have asked him to change it. 

Post # 8
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Is facebook the problem or is the lying the problem?

I don’t think of them as dating websites.  My husband is rarely on his but I go on mine, mainly to talk to sisters and friends that I don’t live around anymore, so he doesn’t have any problem with it.

I would have a problem with it if things like you are describing happened.  I’m not sure I would trust him though if he lied to me and I found out via facebook.  But that’s not really facebook that’s the problem, more the lying.

Post # 9
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I think you have a bigger problem than the website, which is the fact that he’s lying to you.  Lying has been around long before facebook, and will continue long after facebook is gone.  Good luck in working thru those issues.

Post # 10
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i agree with the others, your fi could be lying to you with or without facebook. it was just easier for him to get caught via facebook.

my fi and i both are on facebook all the time. we actually talked on facebook for about a month before our first date. we met one night, and the next day he facebook friended me, and we went from there. a lot of times now it’s easier for us to communicate on the computer during the day because he’s always online at work, so i can just message him if i want something. and we both like catching up with old friends on there. i don’t mind it, he’s always telling me things about who he’s talking to.

Post # 11
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Mr. Peng doesn’t do social media. I am so thankful! I know it’s hypocritical because I have my own Facebook account but I’m happy he doesn’t communicate with people (specifically old flames) there.

Post # 12
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

FI has Facebook, but he pretty much only uses it to play Farmville, as I’ve mentioned before. lol

I waste a lot of time on FB uploading photos, reading status updates, harassing my friends with youtube videos, etc etc.  🙂

Post # 13
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I had myspace and just got too lazy to keep it up.  I was on facebook before FI was (he joined after we started dated) and I’ve never viewed it as a dating site.  (FI and I did meet on match.com).  I love it because I can keep up with all of my old friends who are getting married and having babies, plus I love uploading pictures for everyone else to keep up with me.

I hope that you are able to talk to your SO about the lying thing, as others have said that is a a much bigger issue than the social media.

Post # 14
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

FI and I are both on facebook, but only to keep up with friends.  We have both our accounts on lockdown (only friends can see our profiles), so I know no one is creepily stalking us.  I agree with previous posters that the problem you have is your SO lying to you.  Have you talked to him about what you’ve discovered on FB? Seems like there needs to be a long discussion between you two. 

Post # 15
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Me and my partner met via the internet 🙂 Talked for about 6months before meeting up in person!

We both have Facebook accounts… i made him get his LOL now i can’t get him off it… always playing mafia wars! i have no problem with him being on it.

He logs on to my account whenever he wants to play mafia wars on mine… i have nothing to hide… i know his log in but never go on there as there is nothing for me to do on his account lol.

but if your man is saying he’s going somewhere and goes somewhere else maybe you should really have a big talk with him.

By the way what does SO mean? lol

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