Post # 1
I really like the idea of having the same last name as my future husband once we have tied the knot, but I really hate the idea that it is always the woman who is expected to abandon her name in lieu of her husbands. Does anyone else think that this really isn’t fair?
A little back story, my FI does not get along at all with his father and never liked his family name much (It’s also a funny sounding name which he got teased for as a child) On the other hand I love and adore my father. Of course he doesn’t feel comfortable taking my name either, which I can understand. Why should he be te one to give up his name either?
My mother kept her name, which I think is great, but whatever me and my future husband do I definitely want the same name as my future children.
We have toyed with the idea of changing both of our last names, but haven’t come up with anything we are very comfortable with. Mainly we seem to want names we associate with our respective families. We both also have longer names, not too easily hyphenated.
Does anyone has have experience with this or have gone through anything similar?
Post # 3
I looked into us both changing our names, and at least in CA, it looked pretty convoluted, but that’s always a possible option… many sheets of paperwork later. 🙂
Post # 4
My friend Laura and her husband both kept their names. Their girls too her last name, their boy took his. Just another idea.
Post # 5
In a lot of states (CA included), you now have the option of either party changing their name to the other (wife take husband’s name or husband take wife’s name or a hyphenation of both).
In fact @BriansBride it looks like New York allows for it too (from the Department of Health’s website)
One or both parties to a marriage may elect to change the surname by which he or she wishes to be known after the marriage by entering the new name in the appropriate space provided on the marriage license. The new name must consist of one of the following options:
- the surname of the other spouse;
- any former surname of either spouse;
- a name combining into a single surname all or a segment of the premarriage surname or any former surname of each spouse;
- a combination name separated by a hyphen, provided that each part of such combination surname is the premarriage surname, or any former surname, of each of the spouses.
The use of this option will provide a record of your change of name. The marriage certificate, containing the new name, if any, is proof that the use of the new name, or the retention of the former name, is lawful. The local Social Security Administration office should be contacted so that its records and your social security identification card reflect the name change. There is no charge for this service.