- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
I’ve always had a really strong connection to my maiden name. I’m getting married in August and have already discussed with my Fiance the possibility of me hyphenating my maiden name and married name. He doesn’t care at all, and we both agreed our kids would just have our married name (I wouldn’t make my kids hyphenate… my maiden name is personal to me but I don’t care about “carrying it on” through the generations). His cousin also has the same first name as me (and it’s a unique first name which is odd) so I definitely don’t want to have the same exact name as her if I only took his last name (she says she doesn’t plan on marrying her longtime boyfriend anytime soon). Anyway, the problem is we’re going on a cruise with FI’s family in 2012 so Future Mother-In-Law needed to know what my married name is going to be because my passport is going to have to match the name on the plane tickets/cruiseline info. So we told her I was going to hyphenate. So my Fiance told her I was going to hyphenate, and then I never heard about it again. This was about 3 months ago, and I kind of forgot about it until the other day when I realized I have no clue how she spelled my name, if it’s hyphenated or just “two last names” without the hyphenation. I guess I sort of decided that I don’t really want to hyphenate after all, but that I would rather just have two last names so if someday I just want to go by my married name it wouldn’t be a problem. I asked Fiance to ask his mom how she put my name down and he got all defensive saying I shouldn’t change it again because it was a lot of work for her to change all the documents (she forgot that we would be married the first time she put my info in) the first time. UGH! ITS MY NAME! He didn’t understand why I was getting so upset, but it is a big deal to me and I’m sort of annoyed that I don’t really get to decide or change my mind about what my name is going to be after we’re married. I hate not having control, but this is a huge deal to me.
…I’m not looking for advice, just sympathy. 🙂